Who’s Says You’re Not Perfect?

When a baby is born everyone oohs and ah’s about how perfect the little one is.  What happens as you age that you’re no longer perfect, nothing, that’s what? Nothing changed. You’re still perfect, all 30 pounds overweight with a bald spot perfect. On the outside you may not appear to society to be perfect but on the inside you’re down right gorgeous.

Somehow down the line someone said or did something that changed your perception of your true inner beauty. You bought into whatever label society put on you and believed what others said.  That’s sad because at that moment you shifted away from who you were born to be and started becoming what you thought others thought you should be.  And you know what else happened; a little piece of you became a bit sad? Deep down you knew you were better. You had plans to shine and now you let someone take your light away. 

The light is still burning but maybe not as bright as it wants to be.  And what’s holding you back from letting your light shine? FEAR! All those self doubts that have been marinating in your conscious and sub-conscious are holding you back from what you really want to be. Compounding it, you likely have layers upon layers that need to be peeled away until you can get at the core of who-you-are.

Just as an onion has layers to it so do you.  Every time a setback, obstacle, or critical remark came your way self doubt reared its ugly head and another layer went up.  Every time a relationship didn’t work out another layer went up to protect you.  The sad thing is that every time that happened it took you further and further away from your true self, your core beauty.  At the core is your source energy that is the glow of perfect love. It’s meant to shine. And better yet, it shines best when you are who you were meant to be.  Remember, there is no one else like you.  You are unique. Discover your uniqueness and let it shine. Your spirit wants you to.

Speak UP

Ever been in a social or business setting and noticed that when certain people talk everyone takes notice and turns to listen? Why is that?

This has happened to me. At first I thought it was because they were the authority on the subject but that rarely turned out to be the case. Then I thought it was because physically they have a stronger commanding voice which has some merit. I also have noticed that more men interrupt others more than women. Maybe it’s the way women are raised, to be considerate of others, to listen.  Then I came to the conclusion that the rude person is caught up in their own world where no matter what the subject they rudely interrupt and interject their opinion.  I’m speaking generally here.

What to do? Call them on it. In a very stern confident tone point out that someone else is speaking and you’d like to have the person finish their thought. You have nothing to apologize for.  It was the person who interrupted who should apologize. The inconsiderate person won’t change their ways until the considerate people start speaking up.

Picture This

You wake up in our beach house to the sun just breaking the horizon. You hear the delightful sounds of water splashing gently against the rocks. After sipping your coffee for a spell while watching the sunrise you decide to take a short walk to bask in the beauty of nature. You return to check you ban account to find 12,000 deposited into it from your business ventures. You decide this the time to make the investment opportunity you’ve been pondering and decide to call Judy, one of your assistants, to make it happen.

It’s time to leave for an appointment in TX so you inform your chauffer to you’re ready to leave. He takes you to your private jet that is fueled and ready to go. You kiss your spouse and children good-bye and tell them you’ll be back by 3 PM for your daily family activity. Today it’s a two-for. You’ll all be taking a short hike followed up by a swim in either the pool or ocean. Your family can’t decide which one.

 After a nice poolside dinner and the children are in bed, your spouse and you have a glass of wine as you converse about how vast the star system is.

You decide to retire for the evening but decide to check your accounts one last time to find another $15,000 deposited into it.  As you turn out the night light you think to yourself “I think we’ll spend four weeks in Europe this time instead of three. “

How did that make you feel when you read that, were you anxious, excited or were doubtful thoughts entering your mind?

You see in order for the Law of Attraction to work, you have to visualize what it will look like and the universe will conspire to make it happen. The other major point is you have to believe it will happen. If you’ve heard about people who have achieved their dreams, many times they believed deep down they could do it and the actions kept in line with that belief.  It wasn’t a question of if but of when.

When you visual your story of how you want it to be you also have to “feel” comfortable in that space. If your emotions are doubtful so will your result.

It’s Not You, it’s THEM

Recently I’ve heard of many incidents where one person has cut down, degraded, insulted, bad mouthed or was just plain mean, you name it, to someone I know.

It hurts the person I know whether they put on a strong front or not debunking the notion that words can hurt after all. They begin to doubt themselves and their self-image starts to falter. The bigger picture is about the aggressor.

It’s sad because the aggressor, deep down, doesn’t accept himself so he projects his dissatisfaction with himself onto others.  In his own twisted mind this makes him feel better. Consciously he may not know that it’s the real reason he does what he does but it is.

Yep, it truly is sad that someone has to make someone else feel bad in order to feel good. It’s as if he’s saying, “I’m not happy with my life and therefore neither should you be. Now you’re on the same level as me so I can feel better about myself.”

At the core he doesn’t accept himself and therefore love himself as he and his life are. Accept is a love based emotion.  It would be better if the recipient was emotionally strong enough to bring the aggressor into their positive energy, to change the dissatisfaction into acceptance. I wonder what would happen if the recipient responded in a kind loving manner. Would it jolt the aggressor into a different frame of mind? It’s an action worth trying. What do you think?

Start Me Up

Need a dose of energy, hang around kids? Apparently it doesn’t matter how old they are. I know they can be draining but for some it has the opposite effect.

Most people like watching young children play, to watch their creativity in motion, to smile and laugh at the silly things they say and do.

I’m an observer and I noticed that something can be said for teenagers as well. My mother-in-law has always liked having her grand kids over even though she’s too old to do anything for them. She just likes seeing them and listening to them talk. To think of it, my grandpa was the same way. Even though we grandchildren didn’t know how to carry on a conversation with a 90 yr old man, it didn’t matter to him. He’d wrap his arm around the nearest grandchild, give him a gentle squeeze and a big smile would come over his face. That’s all he needed. Oh, and he didn’t let go either. He got his energy and joy from proximity.

It doesn’t even have to be your own family to give you an every boost either. My mother-in-law, along with other senior citizens, likes having children around.  It’s as if seeing them gives them a boost of energy. The only thing I can surmise is that the children’s smiles, laughter and energy are contagious. It gives the observer life. Think about it. When someone smiles at you don’t you smile back even if it’s only on the inside?

Let’s pass the good feeling around and smile.

What Makes That Important?

You are making decisions all day and in the midst of all that, you are always making something more important than something else. Notice that. What are you making more important? Once you figure out what it is, ask yourself why that is. In the process you will learn so much more about yourself that you probably never paid attention to. As Pythagoras said, "Know thyself and you know everything".

You Can See Clearly Now

For thousands of years, we have been taught not to judge - but let's face it, we still do it all the time. The truth is that we all have judgments running in our heads.

If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn't on you. You can just let loose and be uncensored. We're often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about others, but not about ourselves.

When you do The Work, you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking. You’re the storyteller, the projector of all stories, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts.

Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn't ever worked because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector - mind - rather than the projected. It's like when there's a piece of lint on a projector's lens. We think there's a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whoever the flaw appears to be on next. But it's futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.

Find out more about The Work by Byron Katie in; "Loving What Is".

See it, Believe it, Be it

 

What you want to be eventually, you must be every day. With practice, the quality of your deeds gets down to your soul. - Frank Crane

See yourself doing it. Believe that it can be done. Work on it on a daily basis. If you sway off your course, don't stop, get back on. With each day it becomes part of who you are and you no longer have to think about it. You then have embodied it.

Visualize yourself doing and being what you want to achieve. Notice how you feel when you’re in that place, the energy and heighten excitement that comes with it. Now comes the hardest part, BELIEVE that you belong there. Keep practicing this visualization until it feels normal to be in that space.

Go for it!

Play to Your Strengths

Oftentimes people believe that by working harder on something they're not good at they will somehow become a more complete, successful, and therefore better person. However, the Gallop Poll has proven that the most successful people play to their strengths and find someone or something else to cover for the rest. It makes sense. There is a reason you are good at some things and not others. They came naturally to you therefore you are meant to use them to fulfill your purpose in life. If they are innate and come naturally to you then to succeed in them is effortless for you.

The problem is we don't always recognize our own talents, strengths, and gifts. Sure other people can point them out with ease but we have a hard time recognizing our own gifts. We tend to brush the complements off because either we don't want the attention or it was so easy for us that it doesn't deserve a complement. Think of all the things you have been complemented in your life; those are your talents, strengths, and gifts. Should you brush that off than think of all the people you have come across that aren't good at it.

You will always find someone out there who is better at something than you. However, NO ONE ELSE looks, hears, or feels the same way that you do. Therefore, it is IMPOSSIBLE for someone else to come up with the same way of thinking, doing, or saying something like you will. Long story short, don't be afraid to go for it and say or do it your way.

Money Talks- It Makes You More of Who You Already Are

I don’t get it. There are people who assume that if you become rich or are already rich that you automatically are or will become greedy. I don’t know of anywhere that is depicted more than in movies. The strange thing is producers are typically very rich.   

An increase in money only makes you more of who you are. If you like to travel you’ll travel more. If your hobby is cars you’ll buy more cars. If you like to help out in your community you’ll get to help it out even more.

Case in point, if you won 5 million dollars in the lottery how would you spend it? Most people will take care of themselves, family and spread out from there to fulfill dreams or causes dear to them. Now how is that greedy?

What about the people who are already rich. They’ve already done the above and want to continue to do so by keeping the money flowing. The Law of Attractions is really working for them because every time they GIVE as in spending money, giving to charity or investing they RECEIVE in increased value of investments or someone helping them out. In order to receive you have to give. As Zig Zigler’s famous sayings goes, “You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”  Rich people can help out a lot of business and industries therefore they keep getting rewarded for it.

Money is neutral. It doesn’t care where it goes, in fact, it wants to be used. What people are really referring to when they say money makes you greedy is Power. The fact is money gives you power. The more money you have the more luxury you have of saying yes or no without much consequence. What some rich people do is use their money to give them more power but that kind of thought is misguided because people have become powerful without money. Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Dali Lama and MLK all come to mind. They weren’t rich but they were very influential in that they could get others to respond to their call to action with just words.

Money isn’t the enemy it’s your friend because you will put to good use, right? It’s the power that can come with it that you have to watch out for.

Brain Games

The brain is amazing. It can shoot thoughts and feelings in a nana second throughout the body in which you react through a slight movement of the hand, a wink of the eye, a furrowed brow or an instant tear. Wow! I haven’t even touched on speech.

When you hear or read sentences your brain process the information and assigns a meaning and feeling to it based on all the experiences, education, upbringing etcetera you’ve had.

The odd thing is it doesn’t pick up negatives. Isn’t’ that interesting? Why wouldn’t it pick up negatives? Perhaps we’re designed to be positive. Let me give you some examples. When a parent says to their teenager, “Don’t drop the dishes,” the brain only picks up the positive version of the sentence. Therefore, the brain interprets it to mean “Do drop the dishes,” which isn’t the intention of the communication. Of course what happens then is the teenager drops the dishes.  The parent yells at the teenager for not listening, “I told you not to drop them.” A better way to say it would have been, “Be careful with the dishes”.

I was reminded of this recently when I saw a sign by a church that said, “Jesus didn’t reject people and neither do we.” Not the message they intended.  A better way to have said it would have been, “Jesus accepts people and so do we”.

The message is this, if people aren’t responding to you perhaps you unintentionally gave a mixed message. You said one thing but the receiver’s brain interpreted it another way. When you clearly state your objective in a positive manner the outcome will be as you intended.

We have so many negatives in our language. Just look back at this post and you’ll see lots of them. It’s a hard habit to break.

Action is a Major Key for Success

 

Sometimes you just have to do it, no stalling, no excuses, just do it.

When presented with a challenging situation or circumstance it’s not always easy to come up with a plan, think it through or elicit the help you want. If you’re a procrastinator you know what I mean. Some people don’t want to impose on others for help while others are so overwhelmed they just don’t know where to start. Time runs out and you’re forced to take action. NOW! It causes a lot of stress. It doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s not a good situation to be in but it happens. It has happened to all of us particularly when it’s something we don’t want to do. When you don’t know how to proceed or what direction to take you just have to put one foot in front of the other, and bit by bit before you know it it’s done. Another way to say it is “Hit the ball in front of you.”

Take the future college student who’s not sure what to major in. However, he does know that no matter what he chooses he still will have to take English, Biology and Algebra. He takes those classes plus some others and along the way he discovers areas he would like as his major. As he takes even more classes he begins to narrow it down and within a short time what was once a dilemma is now solved. All it took was taking action. Action is a major key for success.

You’re Exposed

You’re Exposed

Well not in the literal sense but in your true self. The way you are in your normal day to day activities as well as how you’d like to be seen. If you’re a flashy or shy person, generous or stingy, outgoing or introvert, barely making it through the day or believe life is a piece of cake.

How? An observant person could catch some of these traits but it would take some time.  There’s a faster and easier way to tell who you are and how you show up in the world. It shows up in two different ways in your hands, yep your hands. One is what you do with them and the other is your blueprint.

Law enforcement will sometimes have someone analyze your handwriting. The hand analysis expert will be able tell, with enough samples, things like your general mood at the time of the writing, whether you’re ill, arrogant, sincere and even if you’re emotionally unstable, plus a host of other traits as well.  Yep it all shows up. Interesting huh! This information is beneficial for wanting to know about a person than what they’re willing to divulge. Business’ have tried to use it for hiring purposes but were legally blocked. From their perspective, it certainly would be good to know if the person you’re thinking about hiring is trust worthy or emotionally unstable. By the way, closing the loops on your letters (a, d, o, and p) indicates you can keep a secret.

The other way to lay bear your true essence is to have your hands read by a palmist. Your hands tell a great deal about who you are and who you want to be. Each hand is different. Check it out for yourself. Cup them a bit and you’ll see some lines more pronounced in one than the other. Your dominate hand indicates what you’re doing with your life while the other hand is the blueprint of what you wish to be. It’s your road map. Ideally both hands should look very similar. It means you would be right on track for what you spiritually came here to do.

Did you really think you were put here on earth without a clue of what you were to do while you’re here? God is smart. Since we’re unable to communicate effectively with the spirit world as our guide, we were given a road map that is literally right in the palm of our hands.

Try it. I recommend going to a reputable palmist to discover your own road map. See if you’re on track or veering off course. She’ll be able to tell you your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Are you wasting your time in your current endeavor or are you on track?

Life is an ECHO

It’s true. What you send out comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others exists in you.

It exists in you otherwise you wouldn’t recognize it. That goes for the kindness you see in others as well as the annoying habits.  It’s a hard pill to swallow when you see something you don’t like in others only to turn the table around and see it in yourself. OUCH! Therefore, I always say be careful when you pass judgment on others, call them names or label them.

This type of behavior is very rampant in the political field, the name calling and accusations. They wouldn’t see it unless it existed in them. We have politicians calling each other racist, bigot, or accusing each other of not caring about the elderly, children, environment and the poor when they only need to look in the mirror to see it’s them who don’t care.  Instead of banning together to focus on an area, more time and energy is spent cutting down another person or party. It really does get tiring listening to it all.

There are many ways to refer to the Law of Attraction and echo is just one. What comes around goes around is another one that comes to mind. It’s interesting that these sayings have been around for many years and basically stem from the Bible’s, “What you sow so shall you reap”.  I guess the verbiage had to change with the times.

Remember the message. Life is an echo. It always gets back to you. So give goodness.

Which is More Important, Will or Skill?

Hmm…that’s a tough one.

Skill is definitely more important in certain areas like being a surgeon, technical support or a pilot. When you’re lying on an operating table ready for surgery you certainly want the one with the scalpel to be very skilled. No wrong movements.  The same can be said for someone who fixes the bugs in your computer or the pilot landing the plane.  It’s situations like these where the skill is more important than book knowledge or rapport.

However, what if the doctor or support person doesn’t have the will to do a good job? Their attitude basically is, “Let’s just get this over with.” Does that change your mind on how important will is?

It certainly does for me.  My experience has been that will greatly overcomes any skill deficiency. When someone has the unwavering will to be or do something there isn’t much to deter their efforts. I’ve seen it firsthand.

You can teach people a skill but you can’t teach them the will. That’s something they have to have already. They may not become an ace at the skill but because they have the steadfast will to do a task, they’ll find a way to make it happen by using their resources. 

What’s more important, will or skill? For me, WILL wins out every time.  It’s another way of referring to your spirit.

GOP Children Should Die

I’m appalled! Recently there were two incidences by two different politicians whereby they wished ill will on other politician’s children simply because they disagreed on the issues. Apparently ONLY people who are of them same mindset has value and deserves kindness, respect and compassion. When you say that you wish ill will on others it makes you no better, and in my opinion, worse than the person you are referring to.

There’s a religious ideology, and some are saying it’s a political ideology, that specifically promotes killing off people who don’t agree with their beliefs. How is what those two politicians said any different?

When you’re upset that someone holds a different viewpoint it’s a sure sign of 1) Insecurity. When you’re confident in your position, you have no need to get emotional about disagreements. 2) Arrogant. You’ve put your ideas and viewpoint above others. It’s more important to be RIGHT than to listen, comprehend and reach consensus. 3) Lack of maturity. In a civilized and free society everyone’s opinion is valued. To dismiss someone’s viewpoint without listening to it is saying their position has no merit or value. Be careful here because what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow therefore, if you want people to listen to and value your input, you MUST also show them the same respect. It’s common courtesy.

One last final note, what you see in others exists in you. It’s true. Be honest with yourself and try it.

The Magic of Mama’s Voice

 

What is it about when a Mom speaks to her baby in that high pitched sing song voice that makes the child stares back in a transfixed trance? The melancholy tone of the voice makes him watch every move the Mom makes with her face.  Sometimes she even gets a laugh for a smile.

But I’ve noticed that even pets take to this sound, especially dogs. Talk to a dog the same way you talk to a baby and chances are you’ll get the same transfixed star. It’s as if they’re under a spell.

Curious, has anyone else noticed this?

The Truth is You Are in Control – Total Control

For some reason, you are consciously or unconsciously choosing to be in that lousy job, you are choosing to hate the single life, you are choosing to stay in a destructive relationship, you are choosing to let you daughter drive you crazy, you are choosing to sabotage anything good in your life. I know this is difficult to accept the fact that you are the cause of the feelings that take away your joy in life. It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy. On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing. If you know you create your own misery, it stands to reason that you can also create your own joy. Taking responsibility for your experiences of life is the component of a more powerful way of living. Believe that you are the cause of all your experiences of life, meaning that you are the cause of your reactions to everything that happens to you. Whenever you are not taking responsibility, you put yourself in a position of pain, and hence decrease your ability to handle the fear in your life.

1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.
2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.
(This sounds contradictory, but it is not. Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim)
3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.
4. Taking responsibility means handling the chatterbox (the voice inside your head that creates all sorts of stories, theories, assumptions)
5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you stuck. (Staying in a lousy job for fear of rejection the payoff: easier to stay)
6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.
7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.

I refer to her book quite often so I thought I'd share her teachings.

From: "Feel the fear ... and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. PHD

Resistance is Futile

Darth Vadar was right. Resistance is futile. I’ll agree with him but for a different reason. If you really want to get somewhere in life, forcing something to happen or forcing something on someone is always in the end going to be futile.  It goes against our innate free will. Even if you do get what you want it’s through fear and intimidation which won’t stand the test of time.

Let’s look at this from the Principle of Polarity which states everything has its equal and opposite in the universe. Therefore, the opposite of resistance is compliance, approval and acceptance. You can force a change on someone or you can have them engaged in the process where they’ll go willingly. Which one do you think would be more beneficial for everyone to create a win-win situation? Of course the “buy in” is the long lasting solution. However it does take more energy to create it. That’s the price you pay but its well worth it.

When people are forced against their will it creates animosity and grudges. Personally I think it’s better to make the effort and get the person’s willingness to accept it then to deal with the negative energy that comes with resistance. In the end it creates a win-win solution that everyone is happy to be a part of.

What is YOUR Gift to the World?

We all were given our own special unique gifts to give to the world. What are they? That's for you to find out. The strange thing about gifts is that you may not recognize it as a gift because it comes so naturally to you. Are you a good listener? Do people naturally confide in you without being prompted? Or, are you the "go to" person? The one people go to when they want to make sure something gets done? Those are gifts. What is it that you are naturally good at and comfortable doing? You didn't have to learn it because it is part of who you are. You excel when you are using your gifts without really trying. In essence, you were born with them.

All your gifts were given to you for a reason; to use and share with as many people as possible. Start sharing your gifts. Stop hoarding them or pretending they don't exist. It comes down to this: If not you, then who? Remember, you are unique. NO ONE has the same exact gifts that you have in the same exact degree, used in the same exact situation. Go for it. What have you got to lose? Small steps, it starts with you.

“How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world” - Anne Frank

Dogs and Cats plus other Animals that we Love

I was struck recently observing how many people I know who have pets. They are everywhere from family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. I see people all around me with pets.

Think about it. We not only have jobs, homes and children to take care of, and that’s a lot already, but we purposely take on caring for pets.  We buy food, toys and cozy place to rest its head. We take them to the vet to make sure they’re okay. We take dogs on walks and play with our cats. They’re like family with each having its own personality. And what do we get out of it?

This may come as a shock but they bring us joy.  Just like children they are a lot of work but they put a smile on our face and warm our hearts.  As a dog owner there’s nothing like my dog’s reaction when I come home for the day. It’s like she’s saying, “I’m so happy to see you. I miss you so much.  Pet me.  Pet me.” Of course I always do. I’m a bit of a sap that way.

But why do we have pets? I believe it’s because our true nature is to love whether it be a person or an animal. Some people don’t want the responsibility of raising children but they can handle a pet. To me they have compelling need to demonstrate their capacity to love and a pet fits the bill.

It’s amazing isn’t it, our enormous capacity to love? Even when our lives are full enough the way it is we still have more love to give.

Money Promotes Greed. Guns Promote Violence

 

Now that’s a pessimistic viewpoint!  Money and guns are tools. How you use them determines the outcome. It’s no different than a knife. A knife in a kitchen is a tool to cut, dice, and chop food. In a chef’s hand it’s skillfully used to create magnificent dishes. However in threatening situations, it could be used as a means of defense. In the hands of a thief or robber it could be used as a weapon of destruction.  The knife hasn’t changed only the person and situation it’s used in.

Money and guns are no different they are tools. Money in the hands of a generous person only compels the person to be more generous. If you ask people what they would do if they won millions of dollars from the lottery, they say they’ll buy this or that but after that it’s to take care or help out people they know.

Even the people who are currently millionaires give thousands if not millions of dollars to their favorite charities and causes. Sure there are people who are greedy. Unfortunately they are the ones who are spotlighted in the various forms of media while the vast majority of generous people remain private.

The same principle applies to guns. Guns can be used for hunting and protection but the same guns can also be used by robber and thieves in threatening ways. Money, guns and knives are just there. It’s the person behind it who decides how it will be used.

These tools just make you MORE of who you already are. Therefore, if you don’t want to become rich because you think it will make you greedy, ask yourself if you’re already greedy people, if not, go ahead and become rich. Do the amazing things you want with it. It’s just a tool.

Happiness in the Moment

My Mom has been slowly forgetting things. We always were aware that she had trouble from time to time finding the right word to use and that it took her longer to tell a story. We had assumed it was because she had a stoke a few years back

But then other signs started to emerge like paying twice on the same bill, not remembering what drawer she kept her shorts in and forgetting if she put salt in what she was cooking.

It’s been rather sad seeing a rather independent vibrant women become so dependent on even the simple things.  However, one thing hasn’t changed her upbeat, happy disposition.  Even though she’s losing her memory she still is in a good mood. She has no other choice.

If there’s one thing loss of memory has taught me it’s that living in the moment is a happy place to be. My Mom has no worries - she can’t remember them, which forces to be in the only place she can be, in the moment. Lesson learned.

The Sounds of Silence

 

I’m not referring to the song by Simon and Garfunkel but responding to the message.

I once heard a rather distinguished person say it’s good to spend time in silence every day.  I took it to mean meditate which didn’t appeal to me. A little bit maybe but hours doing it? I have way too much to do.  Then I realized what the person meant was to spend the day without outside noise like TV or radio. Heck, I do that all the time. 

I remember when I was a kid my Mom would yell “Turn that “blank” down.  I can’t hear myself think”.  I didn’t get what she was talking about but now I do. I thought she was just getting old but now I realize I get a lot of information when I just listen to my thoughts.  I’m able to hash out the day’s events, think about my next move and every once in awhile I get a random thought to take action or see something from a different perspective.

The sounds of silence really aren’t silent.  Your thoughts have a lot to say if you just listen.

Your 6th Sense Saves the Day

Your 6^th sense, aka your gut instinct, to me is another innate survival tool to protect you. It’s similar to the flight and fight response you have.  However as a society we’ve tended to down play its existence. 

It’s that inner knowingness that tells you to this or don’t do that.  In fact, it’s said that when taking a test you should always go with you initial choice.

You see, subconsciously you’re always picking up information and storing it whether it be something you’ve glanced at or a mannerism you witnessed. You’ve attached meaning and a feeling to it. That’s your gut instinct telling you what to do. However, your conscious mind can’t always recall where you got the solution or answer but your subconscious mind never forgets. It’s a warehouse of information.

You should listen to it more often. It’s trying to protect you by stirring you in the right direction.

Coming from a Mindset of Love

 

Recently I was reminded how my upbringing has shaped my life. I was raised with the philosophy that I should treat others as I wish to be treated and I got to thinking about this on a deeper level and what it means to me.

For me it means I should love others because that’s what I want for myself.  I should forgive others for their mistakes because I would want to be forgiven so that I could make amends. It would free my spirit. In short, it means to come from a place of love.

Often times it’s easy to become upset about news and events but then if you take a step back and come from a mind set of love which encompasses many possibilities, the picture you’ve painted as reality changes. A new perceptive emerges, an awakening.

It’s not always easy to stay in that space. I can only image how Jesus, Gandhi and Mother Teresa did it.

Designed to Love

 

Love is our true nature. We can’t help it. We’re designed to love.

Of course the first thing that comes to mind is romantic love but that is such a small percentage of the love that is shown daily by the people you come in contact with.

Sure there are plenty of signs of love between people you know like hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a gentle rub on the shoulder or arm, but there are little signs of “I love you” as a fellow human being all over the place.

Like;

1)   Waving a pedestrian across the street while you wait, (I love you).

2)   Opening a door or holding the door open for the next person, (I love you).

3)   Saying “Hi” to the stranger who crosses your path while you’re on a stroll through the neighborhood, (I love you).

4)   Telling your customer to have a great day, (I love you).

5)   Mowing your neighbor’s lawn because their lawn mower is broke, (I love you).

These are just a sample of the free acts of kindness that we exhibit every day.

We do it out of kindness.  

We do it out of love for our fellow man.

We can’t help it.

It’s who we are.

Catch the Wave and Ripple

A ripple effect is just what you think it is it goes on and on. Like the ripple effect of a wave of water, it can be huge like in the ocean wave or smaller like when something is dropped in some water. I like the second description better because when that happens it spreads all out from around the point of entry and then keeps extending outward.

The ripple effect can be positive or negative. When you come in contact with someone in a foul mood that person can affect the atmosphere of the entire area. For example, the leader of a company sets the tone for the business and it ripples through the company. I’ve had friends who realized they were getting stressed out before they even got to work. Just the thought of how their immediate boss rattled off orders put them in panic mode. That’s not good. Don’t let someone else’s garbage contaminate your brain or mood for that matter. It’s them, not you.

On the opposite end, think of the effect someone had on you by just saying "Hi" or "How's it going" with a smile. Or when someone you didn't know let you go in front of them in line. How about the times you've had a chance encounter with someone and in the course of that interaction you both got a chuckle out of something. Doesn't that change your mood? Suddenly the muck that was running around in your brain has disappeared. You're in a different place, mentally. All someone has to do is give me an unsolicited piece of chocolate and I'm in a good mood. It's so simple. Now I'm in a better mood which causes me to be friendlier with the people I come in contact with. I then put other people in a good mood and then it keeps on multiplying - the ripple effect- its random acts of kindness. It's what makes the world a better place

Pity Love

Pity love isn’t love at all. It’s when someone stays in a relationship because they feel sorry for the person. They want to help the person but it never lasts.

What usually happens is eventually the helper leaves by choice, circumstances or force. The helper is the primary rock in the relationship whether it be financially, emotionally or both. The other person is the taker who basically gets the helper to take care of him by using excuses for his behavior or inability to earn a living. The taker is sometimes so skilled at it he makes the helper feel guilty for not understanding his plight and helping him out. It’s manipulation.

The helper is essentially a very compassionate person who sees the essence of what the taker can become and sticks with him to help him fulfill his potential.

The problem is this type of relationship isn’t love at all. It can’t be. There is no mutual respect, understanding and caring for each other. Each one needs to give 100% for a relationship to work.  It’s just a matter of time before the helper comes to the conclusion that nothing will change. You see, nothing will change unless the taker wants it to.  And why should he, he already has someone to take care of him. 

Sometimes the best way to show you love someone is to move on with your life so the other person can move on with theirs. He may have to hit rock bottom before he wakes up and realizes he’s in control of his own destiny.

What do YOU want to be when you grow up? Part 2

This can be a struggle to figure out. I envy people who know at a young age what they want to do. Why? Because then they can focus all their energy on that endeavor and not go through the bumps and bruises most of us do.

I often run across individuals who are working a job that doesn’t utilize their degree or skill. They why did they ever get the degree? Simply put, there seems to a missing link between combining a person’s interest to their talents. Perhaps the person didn’t get all the information they needed before they pursued their degree or more likely they didn’t know themselves well enough to make a better decision. To make matters worse, it’s usually the intangible variables that have a larger impact on the career than you think.  

A person is typically already interested in something they’re good at in one way or another. Even if they’re not the best at it they do bring a different talent, twist, perception to it. However they’re not always finding the best way to express that talent in a way that makes them shine. This is where I come in, I make the connection.

It’s said that you should do what you love and then find a way to make a living off it. Sadly most people, me included, do it the opposite way. I’d like to change that early on in life before someone succumbs to the rigors of making a living instead of making a life.

It would be much better to design the life you would like to have and then make your choices based on it. It’s not too late. Anyone can change the direction they’re in. Besides underneath it all we never really grow up.

When you ask yourself what you should be when you grow up what are you REALLY asking?  Are you like me asking what your purpose is or do you want to know the profession you should be in?  It’s something to think about.

If you would like to discover what would give you the most satisfaction, what you’re truly looking for, then you should take the Core Passion assessment.  You can read all about it on my website. The Core Passion ® assessment will help you uncover the fire that burns inside you that longs to explode.  You can take the assessment at any time.  It will give you the tools and language to describe what you’re looking for.

Got to be something MORE!

“I need a little less hard time. I need a little more bliss”

I love those lyrics from that Sugarland song. Who wouldn’t want more bliss? The phrase could mean just about anything, more physical, emotional, spiritual bliss. Take your pick. Enough of all the hard work, life has got to be easier than this and I’m going to get me some.

I initially thought this would be a good song for someone retiring but then I realized there are those who retire to enjoy the rest of their life while the song suggest there’s got be something more to life than just work and then play. To me it suggests searching for a deeper meaning to life.

You can get that now when you know who you are because then you know what to do.  Sadly, most people spend their time looking “out there” for their happiness when happiness resides inside.  It’s a state of mind.

When you know who you are you are able to create and design the life and work that will bring you the most satisfaction. It empowers you. It makes you come alive and that would be your “something more”.  

COMING ATTRACTION

 

It’s been long overdue but the time has come. The universe has been patiently waiting in anticipation for YOU to break out, speak your truth and become who you were born to be. Yes YOU are the coming attraction.

Let your mind wander with the fearlessness and imagination of a child. Where would it take you? When you were young you likely grew up believing that anything was possible if you just put your heart and soul behind it. What happened? Well along the way there were setbacks and disappointments that stopped you from moving forward and you’ve kept the belief that you couldn’t move on.

I’m here to remind you that the past is over and there is nothing you can do about it but accept it and learn from it. Remember, every successful person has failed and likely many times over. That is why they’re successful. They view the failure as an opportunity for growth and then move on. The belief that they can still accomplish what they still want to do is still there but the “How” has been reworked.

So what is holding you back? Is it fear of failure, fear of success, fear you won’t be accepted? Those are usually the top ones. But you have to ask yourself, is anyone of those fears more than the emotional let-down you’d give yourself by not acting on your desire?  

Uncomfortable - GOOD!

When things for you start to get uncomfortable, that's a good sign that you're growing. Yes, it may not seem all that fun at the moment, but in the end you will come away with increased knowledge and experience. Think back to when you were learning a new skill while you were growing up. There are so many to choose from because you were learning ALL THE TIME. Everything was new. Learning how to walk, riding a bike, baking a cake, learning a new subject, driving a car, dating for the first time, your first kiss, and your first job were all new experiences that you overcame and now you have embodied them. Do you really have to think about how to kiss anymore? All of those things you overcame and more importantly you grew. Therefore, the next time you are feeling uncomfortable with a new challenge that you are faced with, recognize it for what it is a chance to grow. It's all a matter of your perception that can make all the difference.

What’s the Intent?

Wouldn’t it be great if you knew the true intent of the people and businesses around you? You certainly would be more comfortable with the full knowledge with that information beforehand. You’d be able to make better decisions for yourself and save yourself a lot of grief. And if you did it anyway you would have no one else to blame but yourself. That last one is a hard one to swallow but it’s the truth. 

Businesses are fairly easy to read.  You already know they are there to make a profit and hopefully create a returning clientele.  Deception occurs if you find out they knew they were selling you a poor bill of goods.  For them it’s a business transaction but for you it might be an emotional one. The great thing about the free market economic system is you can take your business elsewhere.

However let’s say you find out that your girlfriend or boyfriend is seeing others on the side. Worse yet you find out he had no intention on being in an exclusive relationship.  You’d be understandably heartbroken and that’s not easy to forgive.

Now let’s say your neighbor, with good intention, tends to your lawn while you’re out of town. Unfortunately he fertilizes your lawn with grass killer instead of fertilizer. Your grass is dead. He feels bad about it and is willing to make amends. In this case the neighbor had good intention but it didn’t work out the way he had planned. The lawn is fixable. It’s forgivable.

If you knew the true intention of the people you came in contact with, life would be so much easier to maneuver through. Which brings me to my next point, “Why don’t people just let you know their true intention?”

FEAR - They’re afraid you won’t go out with them. They’re afraid you won’t like them. They’re afraid you’ll quit your job. They’re afraid you won’t help them out. They’re afraid to be alone. They’re afraid you won’t love them anymore. It can go on and on. It’s based on insecurity. They’re looking for you to fill the void they have and it’s just not possible. Only they can fill that.

What do you do? Not a whole lot. You can convey your true intention and then live up to it because you can only control how you react to what’s happening around you. The rest is up to the other person.

Government Blame Game

 

There seems to be a lot of ignorance going on lately in our government. Seriously, can that many people not know what’s been happening in their department? Is it always someone else’s fault? It reminds me of Sergeant Schultz in the TV show Hogan’s Heroes, “I know NO…thing. I see NO….thing!”

If anyone of those “I don’t know” officials were in the private sector they would have been reprimanded or fired because they SHOULD know. Citing ignorance can only last so long – at some point the person just comes across as inept.  But that’s not the point of this writing. The larger picture is what ignorance and blaming really is telling us.

There is always an underlying core to a symptom (blame/ignorance). In this case the individual doesn’t want to take responsibility. By pleading ignorance or blaming others it shifts the focus to other people or events out or his/her control. The person “gets to” feel good about themselves because now the attention and responsibility is on someone else’s shoulders. Whew!

Blaming others is an excuse to stay small and not own your own power. By blaming others the person is essentially giving their power to someone else. It’s saying someone else or event is in control of my life. If more people realized that’s what they were doing they wouldn’t do it anymore. They’d take on the responsibility and the outcome that comes with it. As the saying goes, “With great risk comes great reward” the same can be said about responsibility. If the outcome was positive would the person take the credit for it? If so, then the opposite must also hold true or the person loses all credibility.

A person with integrity owns all of his/her own choices. A person with integrity takes a stand and does what’s best for the greater good. A person with integrity takes responsibility for everything under his/her control.

This is a lesson for us all in what not to do. Instead, use your free will to own your power and take responsibility for your choices.  

You Will Give and You’ll Like it

 

How does that statement make you feel, likely not very good.  Giving is great but you need to feel good about it.  It has to be your choice from the dollar amount, duration and cause.  Anything else is an affront to your being.  We are free will beings and anything that contradicts that gnaws at our core.

At our base we ARE loving and compassionate beings who want to demonstrate those qualities but in our own unique way and time where both the giver and receiver benefit. On the flip side if you’re forced to give beyond your means or are shamed into helping out a cause you’re not passionate about, it can leave a sour taste in your mouth where you walk away feeling more taken advantage of than feeling good about yourself.

For example when the neighborhood kid comes knocking at your door to sell you something to raise money for an activity he’s in, you likely will donate or purchase an item.  However if it’s more than what you want to give and you do it anyway it doesn’t leave you feeling good anymore.

We all have our own degree of compassion where the giving makes us feel good but there is always a limit when the positive feeling turns to negative. Knowing yourself and staying true to it will help keep you feeling positive.

How about when the government forces you to give a part of your income to a cause or country you don’t want to give to or at least not that much?  How does that make you feel? People agree that there are those in society who need a hand up so they have no problem giving part of their money to those who “truly” need it.  However what about the people who consciously don’t work on getting off welfare, food stamps etc particularly when they are fully able to work?  How do you feel knowing you’re working to provide to others who are able to purchase the latest tennis shoes or phone while you can’t. Does that make you feel good?

Being forced to give beyond our comfort level takes away the pleasure that comes from giving that’s why charities work we well.  They’re a win-win situation. The giver as the freedom to give to the charity in any way, shape or form that will make her feel good while the receiver gets to use that form in the most beneficial way. WIN – WIN!

What’s the Magic Key to Unlock Your Potential?

YOU! You have the key.  The hard part is figuring out where the lock is. In addition, do you have what it takes to really look inside? If you do then you’ll tap into your full potential.

It’s about discovering and then discarding the beliefs that are not serving you and replacing them with ones that align with your true nature. It’s critical in order to change your results.

You need to take responsibility for your beliefs. That’s easier said than done because there are some that are so deep seated you may not even realize they’re holding you back. Identifying them is hard. Often you need to actively question them or have an outsider bring them to your attention. It means accepting personal responsibility for those beliefs as well as what caused them. Every choice and consequence, every thought, feeling or emotion you’ve experienced, the actions you’ve taken, every story you’ve told about yourself, others and life events. This includes the negative thoughts and feelings associated with those beliefs. All the above is the accumulations of your current life.

It’s the thought that’s sets everything in motion. Each thought, negative and positive shapes your beliefs about yourself others and what’s happening around you. The thoughts eventually become beliefs that manifest in your words and actions which then become your results. For example you may have grown up with parents who said things like, “Money doesn’t grow on tress”, We can’t afford that, or Get a good education, work hard and you’ll get ahead in life”.

All those statements will lead the receiver believing that money is hard to come by and you have to work hard to get it. I still struggle with this myself but I’m working on it.  Obviously that’s not true because look at all the celebrities who work just a few months a year and rake in millions of dollars. To top it off, some of them really aren’t that talented.

Work on changing your thoughts to produce positive beliefs that you really want to accomplish. You have and deserve to win the lottery just as much as anyone else. Believe you can. Now take action and go purchase a ticket. Ka..ching!

Offended? Get Over it

The experience of being offended isn’t occurring in the other person. It’s happening in you. The other person merely expressed their viewpoint. It is you who are taking offense. They are just being who they are.

All you can do is make the person aware of how you feel and hopefully the person would be more sensitive to your feelings. However, you can NEVER change someone else. When you realize how hard it is to change a habit in yourself (lose weight/stop smoking etc) what makes you think changing someone else would work?

Instead of working on changing another’s viewpoint, your time would be more wisely spent exploring what makes you so sensitive to another person’s viewpoint. Aren’t you secure in your own stance? Why should the opinion of someone else even matter to you? Have you ever run across someone who really could give a rip about what anyone thinks? I have and I must admit I’m a bit envious that they’re so oblivious to anyone else’s opinion. It’s actually refreshing.

There have been times when former co-workers and colleagues didn’t agree with me and for a brief moment it bothered me, but I didn’t dwell on it. Why should I? I know that the closest people in my life will still love me anyway even if they don’t agree with me. Therefore, anyone else’s opinion really doesn’t matter.

If you’re offended about something then you’ve just given your power away. You’re essentially allowing this other person’s opinion and comments to affect you and you have control over your emotions. I hate to say it but it basically means you’re not confident and secure about your stance on the issue at hand. It becomes easier to shift the blame and hence your power to another then to take responsibility for your own emotions.

If more people knew that that’s what they were doing they wouldn’t do it. They’d take a stand and control their reaction.  No one really has the power to offend anyone else. The soft spot is inside the receiver. The beliefs you hold are expressed in the stories you tell yourself. You don’t have to remain a victim of your stories.

Does this make sense?