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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Will You Validate My Life?

That’s basically what groups in society are saying when they’re pressing the rest of society to accept them the way they are through bullying tactics, name calling, demonstrations, protests and the media.

They want to be accepted and feel they won’t be accepted until procedures, laws and society’s perception has changed to their liking. The sad part is NO ONE can give them that. No law will change it. No speech. No educational informative talk. It’s an elusive battle because even if laws are changed it doesn’t mean the whole of society’s heart and soul will change with it.

It’s a losing battle because acceptance comes from within not from the outside. Those who accept themselves exhibit a quiet confidence, knowingness, security and ultimately self-love for who they are.

It’s not important what others think of them only what they think of themselves. They don’t have to make noise by pushing their agenda onto anyone else because they know that no matter what they’re okay with themselves just the way they are.  

They don’t need anyone else’s permission to be who you are. They validate it on their own.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Life isn’t fair. Who said it was Supposed to be?


It just doesn’t seem fair that your sister is better looking than you.  It doesn’t seem fair that you brother is smarter than you, or is he?


Life isn’t fair.  Who said it was supposed to be?  In fact, it is not about being fair.  It’s about doing the best with what you have.  Sometimes people are so focused on what others have that they don’t see the fine qualities that they possess. If they did they’d realize that even though their sister is better looking and their brother is really smart- they have different qualities that the other two aren’t as gifted in.  It could be that they have the ability to connect with others in a short about of time, mediate and diffuse a situation, are blessed with the ability to speak well, to use well crafted words to illicit the response and emotion that they intended.  These things aren’t measured in the educational system and yet they are a tremendous asset. A case or push needs to be done to address this omission of overlooked talents. Credit needs to be given to those people who are naturally talented in other intelligences such as; nature, body, verbal, emotional, social, picture and music instead of basing someone’s intelligence strictly on logic which is evident in the sciences.  Life isn’t just about science, math, and reading.  Don’t get me wrong, these are all important.  What about all the people who aren’t talented in those subjects? They go through the school system believing that they won’t be successful just because they didn’t excel in the core subjects.  They aren’t failures.  How about building up their self esteem by giving them credit for what they are talented in? 


·        Everyone is talented in something.  Sometimes you have to look deeper to figure out where you stand out.  Ask yourself which of the intelligences you excel in.  Pinpoint exactly what it is that makes that great. 

·        Figure out what are your strengths and use them to your advantage.

·        Appreciate the character traits you have, even the quirky ones.

·        Learn to design your life around what you are naturally gifted in.


If you’d like to learn more about how to make your life run smooth, you can visit my website at Your True Heart's Desire.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Solution for a Happy Stress Free Life

Everyone has problems but have you noticed that while for some it takes over their life while others don’t seem to let it bother them? What I find amazing is that there are a lot of people who bring it on themselves.  They always look at life as the glass is half full. They complain about what is happening at home, work, school, friends, you name it, all the while blaming the people or situations they’re in as the instigator of the problem. Many times the facts aren’t even known or are sifted through their worldview and have created a distorted view of the issue. 

I’d like to address what started the problem in the first place because that’s the real issue at hand. It happens all the time, first in the home, then school onto work, society, community at large and even world events. What am I referring to? It’s minding your own business.

Think about that for a moment. How many arguments or disagreements have you found yourself in because you or someone else got into your business or you into theirs? How many times has someone made you feel bad about the decisions you’ve made? What’s it to them? How many times have you become upset over what someone else was doing whether it’s at home, work, school etc? Whose business is it anyway? If it doesn’t directly affect you then it’s none of your business.

Most people will recognize when someone is getting into their business but don’t realize when they’re doing it to someone else. A good indicator would be to hypothetically switch places and see how you’d react in their shoes.

The solution to a happier stress-free life - mind your own business.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Hey, did you read the sign?

Signs are all over the place. I’m not talking about the advertisement or freeway signs; I’m talking about the signs that are meant especially for you.  Like when you’re on your cell phone while you’re driving and run through a red light or you put in a different CD and almost hit the car in front of you.  These are all signs. The sign is you should pay attention.  The next time you might not be so lucky.   

There are other signs that you might be getting but aren’t paying attention to that can clue you into what your gifts are.  You may actually brush them off as nothing because it’s so familiar and easy for you. I’ll give you a personal example.  In high school I always got A’s in speech class.  When I went onto college I also aced speech class.  I never gave this much thought or credit.  Quite a few years later I took a facilitator course through work.  For three days I listened attentively and took notes.  On the last day we each had to give a presentation.  After I finished mine the other students gave me feedback. They were shocked that I was so enthusiastic and full of energy because while as a student I was very quiet.  My presentation was well thought out, organized and presently very professionally.  I basically “turned on” when I got in front of a group.  I realized much later that I received basically the same type of feedback when I interviewed for a position.  They were shocked because I was bubbly, as they put it, and yet when it came to answering a question I was very knowledgeable about the subject.  For years now I have been a member of Toastmasters International and I get the same kind of comments.  I have very natural expressions and mannerisms. I exude enthusiasm and energy when I speak and that I’m knowledgeable in what I speak about.

The point with all this is that I was given signs of my ability to speak and express myself throughout my life but I wasn’t paying attention.  I didn’t give it the credit it deserved.

My question to you is there signs that you have been given that you haven’t been paying attention to? Think about that for a moment. What has come easily for you or you get positive comments on it? That’s a sign.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Make it a Great Day. The Choice is Yours

You have the power to decide what kind of day, week, or hour it is going to be, how, by your thoughts. You make that decision every moment of every day if you're going to allow something to ruin your mood. When something doesn't go as you planned do you sulk or worse yet, try to bring others into your doom and gloom. The saying goes that birds of a feather flock together and being in the negative is the same thing. If you didn't have an audience, would you continue on your path of complaint, most likely not? While in the negative you seek others who will buy into your story about how things aren't working out for you. The good news is that you can change and it's all up to you. Take responsibility and own the power that is within you. You decide what effect an event is going to have on you. Don't let the circumstance own you. You own it. You decide. You make the conscious choice when something doesn't go right to immediately figure out what you learned from it and then put it where it belongs, in the past. Only then can you clear your mind and forge ahead with a clear open mind and make it a great day no matter what happened.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Getting What You’re Giving


Have you ever noticed that the more someone complains about their life situation the more they stay in it and the people who have a cheerful disposition tend to have more of the same?  Why is that? More important, what creates the difference?  Is it the situation that determines how someone will react or is it the person who decides how to react to the situation? I believe it’s the latter.

Someone who comes from a place of being a victim believes that things happen to them and they have little or no control over what happens to them.  They don’t see any connection between how they react and what life experiences come their way.  Their viewpoint is that things happen to them and thus remain in a state of “what is.”

On the other hand, the person who looks for the positive aspect of the situation remains emotionally in a much better place and therefore attracts better life experiences. Other people respond in kind and therefore they get what they give.

You may think that isn’t possible but I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where two people experience the same event, one person reacts very irate and upset over it while the other one reacts rather calmly about it, same situation different reaction. What does this tell you? It says that you are the creator of your experiences.  You can choose to be happy or choose to be sad. You can choose to be the victim or you can choose to take charge of your life.  You have the free will to choose.  Isn’t that awesome!