Come alive. Live your truth. Look GREAT! You have an energy about you. Is it dynamic, subtle, striking or animated? Want to know? When you learn to dress your truth by choosing the right fabric, cut and color plus hair, jewerly and make up for you it all comes together and works right for you.
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Thursday, December 29, 2016

Show Your True Colors

Show Your True Colors

What are your true colors? Most people are only vibrating at a pastel hue when they could be a vibrant orange, red or blue.

Come alive. It takes not only knowing but acting on what makes you come alive that makes your true colors shine. Unfortunately what holds people up is the belief that what they want to do or be won’t be liked, accepted, respected or acknowledged. That is a shame because then it’s fear that is holding you back from being who you are and thereby letting your true colors come shining through.

The song True Colors sums it up quite nicely.

“You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow”

So what colors will your rainbow be?

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

It’s More Important to be Right

Is it?  Thank about how many arguments and disagreements, whether personally, professionally or even by governments have escalated and continued on simply because one or more individuals made it more important to be right? Even after the agreement is long over sometimes and individual wants to have the last word by either out right saying or it or by implying that they were right.  Take it for what it is, insecurity.

Instead of looking at the disagreement from a broader perspective and being diplomatic the person is focused on his own viewpoint and insists his way is correct. Of course, if he’s right than you must be wrong and must be smarter than you, none of which is true.  It just makes him better. Instead of taking his emotions out of it and doing what is best for all concerned he’s made his emotions and viewpoint more important.

It takes a wise person to rise above the chaos of disagreements and tactfully convey to those involved to see the broader perspective.  It can’t be achieved in a lecture, shouting, telling tone of voice but in a confident, calm rational and objective voice.  Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa are examples of people who calmly state with conviction their point of view and still got results.

When you find yourself in and argumentative tone, ask yourself what you’re making more important.  Ask yourself, “If I took out my emotions so that I had no involvement in the content of the discussion, would I react the same way?”
It’s something to think about.  However, it’s far more likely that you won’t think to ask yourself that question in the heat of a discussion but likely later when you have time to reflect on it.  That’s okay. That’s how you learn.

Have you found yourself making your viewpoint more important than the broader perspective? If so, please share your experience.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Please! Try and Keep Up

Please! Try and Keep Up

Try and keep up with where your true awesome self is trying to take you. Seriously, sometimes you can be your own worst enemy.  There are enough people out there trying to stop you from being your true self. You don’t need to buy into it.  It’s just their way of keeping you small so they can feel better about themselves.

Remember when you were young and had a dream.  It was a really big dream.  You could go on and on about it.  The more you talked about it the more grand it became.  Details started to emerge and then you’d add even more to this grand plan of yours. 

And then what happened?  I’ll tell you what happened.  Some well meaning adult likely shattered your dream by throwing their version of reality in front of you. They told you that it wasn’t possible or started asking you how you would go about making it happen thereby forcing you to see all the obstacles in the way. 

The Universe doesn’t work that way.  It takes care of the how.  You just have to think about what you want, believe that it will happen and bit by bit you’ll start taking steps to make it happen.  The Universe provides the tools and contacts for you.  What you have to do is take advantage of the opportunity placed before you. Oh, and it’s not always going to show up all peaches and cream without a hint of struggle.  Sometimes those struggles are what you need to go through to prepare you for the next step.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?  Can it be that easy?  You’ll never know unless you try.

So get busy and start dreaming big.  And for Pete’s sake, try and keep up with what the Universe keeps giving you. It’s for your own good.  

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Follow your heart. Follow your impulse.

Satisfaction Factor 101

Follow your heart. Follow your impulse.

Steve Jobs, Apple Inc Founder has a great quote about this very thing. He says, Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice, and most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary

Basically he’s saying to be true to yourself, YOUR heart, YOUR dream, YOUR desire and not someone else’s.  You’ll never find happiness chasing someone else’s vision of what they want and desire for you.  Only when you follow you own vision will you find the satisfaction and happiness that you not only desire but deserve?

You need to listen to you inner voice of wisdom and follow the impulse where it leads.  How do you know if it’s right for you?  That’s easy.  It feels right.  Pay attention to how it makes you feel. If you have even the slightest hesitation or negative gut reaction it won’t make you feel good about yourself. It means you’re not being true to yourself.  Follow your impulse, instinct call it what you will.  Only by following where it leads will the happiness and satisfaction you seek be yours. 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.
It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy

You were born an original.  Don’t die a copy” ~ John Mason

We don’t need another Einstein, Lincoln, or Bob Hope. They were originals. They shined when it was their time to do so.  They were original in their thinking, delivery and persona.  It’s what made them unique. They were classic and you don’t mess with a classic.  You cherish, learn and hopefully get inspired to also be an original.

Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying that good women don’t make history.  A similar phrasing could be said for being an original, unique individual. Copycats don’t make history, only originals.  It’s the people who insist on amplifying their uniqueness that shine not the copycats.

The Beetles, Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, Beach Boys, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, BB King and Michael Jackson were way ahead of their time in musical talent.  They were each unique in voice, phrasing, delivery and style of music. Each was or still is an original that has inspired others to go beyond their comfort zone.  That’s why they are considered classics.

Copying someone else my help you get started in expressing yourself.  By copying someone else you are complimenting them because you can relate to them.  However, use the copy technique as a tool to find your own voice.  Discover how you can take what you’ve learned and add your own unique spin and flavor to it. Make it your own because there is nothing better than the feeling you get when others like what you love to do.

(This is a snapshot of my book, Pick Me Up – Inspirational messages to make you jump for joy. You can find it on Amazon and iTunes) 

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Make the Most of What You Have

Make the Most of What You Have

Making the most of what you have is exactly what Michael Oher the NFL player did. Who would have thought that scoring within the 98 percentile for protective instincts would lead to an NFL career?  That 98% instinct is what gave him the ability to protect the quarterback’s blind side.

Of course his journey didn’t come easy. He certainly didn’t start out life on easy street, on the contrary. It takes a lot of discipline and morals not to succumb to the pressure of the streets. It takes a lot of self perseverance to continue to move on with your life when you have no family to financially and emotionally support you. What kind of driving force does a person like that have to keep moving forward?  If those obstacles weren’t enough, he still had to overcome his lack of education before he could even think about playing any kind of sport. But with the help of the Tuohy family and some key educators he became more than what he thought he could be.  So many people could see the heart behind the man that they took it upon themselves to help him out. 

Football didn’t come naturally to him because he didn’t understand the game and what was required of his position.  Once he tapped into what he needed to do he was able to activate the key ingredient that makes him stand out, natural protective instincts.

Protective instincts are one of his greatest talents and he’s found a way to capitalize on it.  What’s your natural talent. What’s your key ingredient that makes you stand out and how can you tap into it to shine like Michael Oher has on the football field?

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

4 Keys to Creating Joy in Your Life

4 Keys to Creating Joy in Your Life

The 4 keys to create joy in your life are closer than you think.  It’s within you.  Yes, you can create the space for it to happen.  All you have to do is bring it out.  However, it’s easier said than done.

1)   First you must discover yourself.  By that I mean you need to become consciously aware of what makes you unique, what makes you stand out.  What gives you the most satisfaction?  What is it that you get a kick out of doing?  Could you do it all day long and not get bored? Do you get excited about it? Would you do it even if you didn’t get paid to do it?

2)   The next step is to believe you have what it takes to become who you are born to be.  No excuses.  No fear, just do it.  Accept your divine self for all your known and unknown attributes.  It’s being able to envision yourself doing what you love to do.  This is the hardest step.

3)   The third step is creating your desired goal.  It’s the nuts and bolts of the desired outcome.  It’s the “how”.  It’s bringing into fruition what you desire.

4)   The last step is living your dream.  Sometimes when people achieve their dream they can’t believe they deserve it and end up sabotaging their own efforts.  They go back to step two and start over again from there.  It means step two wasn’t fully completed.  They didn’t truly believe it was possible so that is where they go back to.  When you embrace the last step you are living your true authentic self.  Isn’t that what you want?

Thursday, December 1, 2016

What is Right and Real and the Truth for You?

What is Right and Real and the Truth for You?

The way to choose happiness is to follow what is right and real and the truth for you” ~ Oprah Winfrey.

How true.  The key phrase here is “right for YOU”. That means not comparing yourself to someone else. You won’t find happiness comparing yourself to others or believing that the grass is greener on the other side.  If you do, you lose your opportunity for happiness.  Happiness is discovering what’s right for you and that takes getting to know yourself well.

It means you need to be authentic, to be the true you.  How many times have you stopped doing, being or saying something because you were afraid you weren’t going to be accepted, respected or loved if you did?  In those moments, the fear becomes more important than expressing who you are.

The reason unconditional love, God’s love, is so comforting is that supreme love accepts your true nature.  It is seeing the true intention behind the words and actions.  It’s seeing you on a deep spiritual level, not just the physical level, and loving you no matter what you do or say.

When you get to what’s right and real for you, you will embrace the truth of the spirit of God in you and your true essence will shine.

(This is a snapshot of my book, Pick Me Up – Inspirational messages to make you jump for joy, now on Amazon.com and iTunes. You can also purchase it from my web site).

Monday, November 28, 2016

The Truth Shall Set You Free

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Love that sentence. Imagine a world where you always knew what the truth is.  You’d know the true intention behind the guy who just asked you out, the politics at work and which of your politicians is telling the truth or selling you a lie. Okay, now I’m just dreaming.

How free would that make you?  You would then be able to make wise choices in your life instead of learning the hard way. Of course, sometimes you have to learn what you don’t want to find out what you do want but that’s another subject.

If you went into something with the truth fully exposed then you’d have no one else to blame or celebrate for the outcome but you.  That is freedom
Freedom is about having choices and being able to act on them, to take the good with the bad for those choices.  There is no bail out.  It’s taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made, some good and some not so good.

Truth and freedom go hand in hand.  The truth frees you.  It’s like a release button.  You get to release on all the tension, frustration and anxiety that builds up inside when you tell the truth.  That’s why confessions are good, and why convicts have to tell someone about what they did.  It could be to boost their ego but then again it could be to set their conscious free.

Hmm. Did you ever think of it that way?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

It Takes Courage to be Yourself

It Takes Courage to be Yourself

It takes courage to live your truth.  First off, what is your truth? Only you know for sure. It can get buried or mixed up with all that you’ve been taught that you’re not sure what part is you speaking and what part is a conditioned behavior.  Your truth is in there somewhere but you need to distinguish what values, passions and beliefs are yours and which are the works of other influences that you’ve picked up along the way.

It’s good when teenagers leave the nest to venture out on their own.  It gives them a chance to see the world from a different perspective.  They begin to discover who they are.  It’s as if the sunglasses come off and they can see clearly see what has influenced every aspect of their lives from their parents, friends and education etc.

It’s a time when they discover their truth.  They figure out what parts of what they’re learned they’re going to keep and which parts they’re going to disregard.  In the process they find their truth.

Your truth continues to evolve as you age because you’re constantly learning through each new adventure.  With every new experience you’re deciding what to keep and make your own and what to disregard.  A new understand takes place.  It’s you evolving.  How exciting! It takes listening to yourself without judgment and outside influences to clearly define your truth.

If you need help, I’m available to open up new realms of possibilities for you. 

Monday, November 21, 2016

Want to Change the World?

Want to Change the World?

Before you go out promoting change in areas you think need fixing, you need to take a good look at yourself.  The first step to making change isn’t “out there” it’s in the mirror that is where real change begins and what becomes the model for others to emulate. It’s just like what Michael Jackson sang about in, “Man in the Mirror.”
I’m looking at the man in the mirror.
I’m asking if he’ll change his ways. 
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you want to make the world a better place, look at yourself and make the change.

The lyrics say what’s been said my times before but in a different way. It’s like the phrases; “What comes around goes around” and “You reap what you sow” They’re said in different ways to capture the attention of different audiences.  Obviously, the song, Man in the Mirror, captures the attention of our time while the others resonate with everyday life and those who are familiar with the Bible. I guess we need to keep being reminded of it.

The fact of the matter is you can only control your reaction to whatever is happening around you.  Therefore, you have the power to create peace, kindness, love, hate, rudeness or war.  It’s your choice.  Choose your words and actions wisely for they have more power than you realize. They create your future.

Power is good when it’s used for a good intention. To be super powerful it must come from a place of love.  History has proven that power from a place of fear like Dictatorship and Monarchy doesn’t last. In contrast, look at how effective Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King were in their peaceful methods for change. They came from a heart centered place to illicit change.  They were so powerful in their peaceful movements that others saw them as a threat. 

They had the power of the people behind them and that made those in power fearful, so much so that they were assassinated and imprisoned.
What it comes down to is if you want peace, be peace.
If you want to see more kindness, be kind.
If you want more love in the world, show your love.
Look at the man/women in the mirror. If you don’t like what you see, make the change.

Embrace the power you have to change the world. 

Thursday, November 17, 2016

What does it mean you didn’t come here to do this?

What does it mean you didn’t come here to do this?

That probably seems like a strange name for a blog. Let me explain.
There are two things going on with the title.

1)   The title is intended to address situations in which people find themselves, one day realizing that they should be doing something different. From a spiritual perspective, realizing or having the feeling that they should be doing something more important or significant with their life. They’ve discovered that their life isn’t as fulfilling and happy as they thought it would be. Perhaps they got caught up in what others thought they should be and do instead of going with their inner gut instinct of what’s right for them. One day the person understands them self and declares “I didn’t come here to do this.”

2)   The other part of the title is a trick of the mind. The mind doesn’t pick up on negative and will unconsciously take out the negative and turn it into a positive statement. Therefore, the mind interprets the title to be, “I did come here to do this.” Tricky huh?

My blog draws the people in who aren’t satisfied with where they’re at but at the same time want to find out what they did come here to do.  

Monday, November 14, 2016

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Sure you do.  We all do from time to time.  What is it? It’s taking a position on an issue that has been first filtered through your own social, economic, race, religion, gender etc and then basing your vote on what’s in it for me (WIIFM).
Let’s face it.  It’s very difficult to base a decision entirely on an objective point of view when the decision directly or indirectly affects you.  The emotions can be too strong to make an objective decision.  You would need to take yourself out of the picture and view the issue on a higher level with no regard to the outcome.  It means being totally objective and doing what’s best for the whole of society not just what’s good for you.  It’s looking at the issue from a broader perspective. 

However, I’d like to note that sometimes helping a few (companies, agencies etc) actually ends up helping out more of the masses in the long run than vice versa.  To understand which would be the better decision you would need to be well educated and informed in that area.  All too often it’s the loudest voice that is heard which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the viewpoint to base your decision on. You need to do your research and listen to all view points.  More important, you need to discern between the rhetoric, emotional positions and the facts in order to find the truth. It’s taking the emotion out of it and making a decision from an objective point of view no matter what affect it will personally have on you.

If you want our country and world to be a better place the love of it must be greater than what is in it for you.  What is the greater good? It comes down to what are you making more important?

In the Law of One you are either serving yourself or serving others. Which is it for you? Don’t get shook up about this we all go back and forth between the two. Sometimes the people who are helping others are just helping themselves by making themselves feel better about who they are, trying to look good, getting paid to do it, anticipating kudos for it or even just getting votes for it.  Another point to consider in the Law of One is whether your actions are violating another person’s free will. That’s a tough one too. Are all parties in agreement? For example, is the government violating their citizen’s free will when those who oppose Planned Parenthood are required to pay for it through taxes? My viewpoint is yes.

Most people want what’s best for their country but the conflict arises on what it’s to look like and even more on how to go about making that vision a reality. Currently there is no clear vision that the masses have bought into.  There is a great divide and therefore the country will have a difficult time moving forward until a vision is laid out that the masses can really rally behind.  Only then will the Law of Attraction take hold.

As a side note, there is only one law. All other laws are distortions of the Law of One. 

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Making the Most of What You’ve Got

Making the Most of What You’ve Got

As simple as it sounds, we all must try to be the best person we can: by making the best choices, by making the most of the talents we’ve been given” ~ Mary Lou Retton

Every day you make choices that determine your future outcome.  Every choice you’ve made, every decision you make has brought you to the place where you are today.  From the friends you chose to hang out with to what you did with the education you’ve received has transformed you in to the person you are today.

Did you study hard throughout the school year or did you decide to cram for the test at the end of the year?  That was your choice and so was the result.  You chose whom to date and possibly to marry. Some of your choices were good and some not so good.  Throughout these choices, you were given the opportunity to learn from your choices, to filter out what you want from what you don’t want.  The choices you make give you clarity to make better choices with the intention of making you a better person.

Has there been a time in your life when everything was clicking, you were operating on all cylinders, you were at the top of your game, in the zone?  How did you feel?  Was it easy?  If so, you were in harmony with who-you-are and using your talents to their fullest.  That’s the funny thing about being who-you-are; you not only get to do what you’re good at but it’s easy.  Sweet!

So many people spend their time working on what they’re not good at, hoping that one day they will somehow become a balanced and therefore a complete person.  The Gallop poll has proven that the most successful people work on their strengths and find someone or something else to cover for the rest.  The best advice is to focus on what you’re good at and let the rest take care of itself.  You will always find someone or something else to cover for your weaknesses.

(This is a snapshot of my upcoming book, Pick Me Up – Inspirational messages to make you jump for joy, now on Amazon.com and iTunes. You can also purchase it from my web site). 

Friday, October 28, 2016

What is Your Truth?

Engaging in behavior that you feel guilty or ashamed about erodes your self-esteem and self-confidence. Conversely, you can feel good about yourself by only doing that which you feel is right. Of course this is base on your own moral compass and no one else’s.

What is right and real of you?  You see, following your truth always makes you feel good about yourself.  Whenever you get the slightest emotional tug that something just isn’t right with what you’re saying or doing that’s you living outside of your truth. It’s your inner conscious gives you a wake-up call saying”This isn’t you.”  This emotional snap can happen in a nana second.  You may not even notice it or shrug it off as nothing, worse yet; you talk yourself into justifying your behavior.

Your inner “feel good emotion” is your barometer for you living your truth.  Simply put, when you feel good about yourself you’re living your truth.  When you don’t feel good about yourself they you aren’t.

Living your truth encompass every aspect of your life from the relationships you have to how you take care of yourself.  When you find yourself disappointed in yourself because you were silent on an issue you are very passionate about, then you aren’t living your truth.  Your words and actions have to match what you feel inside to live your truth.  It means being honest with yourself and honoring your integrity.

When it comes to speaking your truth no one can tell you what it is.  You have to discover it for yourself.  Your truth is not the same as anyone else’s.  Only you know what will make you feel good about yourself and what will not.  Your emotions are your barometer for maintaining your truth.

Now I ask you, “What is your truth”?

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Can I Get a Do Over?

Can I Get a Do Over?

Sure you can. You do it all the time.  It’s what you do with what you learned that counts.

Call me optimistic but I definitely like the, “Do Over” method of success.  A “Do Over” is when you get another chance to do what you initially attempted but this time you get a chance to do it correctly.

History is riddled with people who have had “Do Over’s”.  They didn’t succeed in their first, second or maybe even their third attempt but that didn’t stop them.  Each setback was an opportunity to evaluate what went wrong, make an  adjustment and then attempt it again.

What I like most about “Do Over’s” is that there is no such thing as failure.  It’s as if you’re getting a free pass-go to the school and collect more knowledge- now go back and try it again.    With each setback you’re able to evaluate and refocus your energy on the achieving the task at hand.

It is only when you give up on the “Do Over” that you have truly failed for succumbing to failure drains the life blood of creativity that runs through your veins.  You must create and be better than your former self.  You must move forward by creating and it’s only through the “Do over process” that you continue to learn a new and better way to achieve your desires.

Therefore my friend, there is no such thing as failure as long as you continue to believe in “Do Over’s”.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

Need a Quick Pick Me Up?

Need a Quick Pick Me Up?

When you need a quick pick me up when you’re feeling down remind yourself of all the compliments you’ve received over the years, you know the ones you brush off as nothing, these are your strong points, the ones that you’ve embodied to thoroughly they are just a part of who you are.  Your unique blend of strengths, missteps and view point is what makes you stand out. Embrace it.
Typically, someone or something reminded you of an attribute that isn’t your strong point and now you’re dwelling on that instead of acknowledging it and focusing on what are your strong points.  We all have areas that we’re strong in and other areas that we are not. No one is perfect. Don’t worry yourself silly over it.  It’s just a waste of time.

There are far too many influences in your life that can literally stop you from becoming who you were born to be.  Your well-meaning parents, colleagues and friends may have talked you out of what you wanted to do for fear you might be get hurt or not make enough money.  The list could go on and on.  I know I’ve done it myself.  At the time I thought I was looking out for my friend. I know now that it was what she wanted and I talked her out of having that experience. It won’t happen again.

Too often you can get caught up in the day to day activities of your life that you forget who you are and what you wanted.  The demands of earning a living and societies’ pressure can make you lose sight of what you initially wanted to do.  Some day you may even wake up and ask yourself “Why am I doing this.  Am I happy doing this? Is this bringing me joy? Am I out of whack with who I am? Does this really fit who I am?” Are you lost in the “doing” of life instead of the “being” of life? To “BE” is to be who you are in an authentic, in the moment way.  It’s a “Here I am take it or leave it attitude” A good question to ask yourself is if money, time and education weren’t a factor, what would you be doing now? When you’re young and contemplating what you want to be when you grow up you are actually closer to who you are then when you start factoring in the above criteria.

Who are you anyway?  What makes you stand out? What are the unique blend of talents and experiences that only you can offer? Figure out what that is and use it to your advantage. When you’re feeling down and losing confidence in yourself, pick yourself up by reminding yourself that you do have a unique blend of talents and you just need the right venue to express them.

You can also like my FB page, Pick Me Up, Please, to receive daily inspirational messages.


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

What’s Your Calling?

What’s Your Calling? 

Many years ago I was having a conversation with my aunt who’s been a teacher for over 20 years. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and told her that I was leaning towards being a teacher but that my Dad advised me not to do it. He said there are three things you don’t want to get into; teaching, banking and insurance. They don’t pay very well. That’s when my aunt told me that you don’t get into teaching for the money. It’s more of a calling.

From time to time I’ve heard others talk about it’s their calling. What does that mean? To me it means they’re drawn to it, a pull towards it. A calling doesn’t appear to happen often but some people do feel that pull. It’s not that it doesn’t exist in everyone but that we may have tuned it out, aren’t listening to it or that we are aware of it but has put it on hold. Perhaps life has been so busy that we haven’t had the time to reflect on it, to bring it to the forefront of our consciousness. If we did, we’d start manifesting it. I feel a pull but it’s usually not to a profession but more an interest. A calling is not only something you’re drawn to but also something that would give you great joy and satisfaction.

Unfortunately many people don’t act on their calling when they’re deciding what they what to do in life. They make their decisions based on salary, work hours and conditions which end up overriding the calling. Sometimes it takes decades, usually in middle age, that the person finally rediscovers they’re inner calling and acts on it. This is sad because society lost the person for all those years. They contributed to the economic structure of society but the person probably would have been more fulfilled and society in the end better off if the person had followed their calling.

So what’s your calling? What are you drawn to or compelled to do or be?  That’s the question you need to answer for yourself and then act on it. Just do it!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

What I Like About My Face Book Friends

What I Like About My Face Book Friends

As a coach I get to know my clients on a very deep level.  They tell me their hopes and dreams, things they may not even tell their friends, all without fear of being judged. Their secrets are safe with me.  Of course my job is to get them to embrace their talents and encourage their dreams.  Face Book is like coaching in a way but instead of listening closely to what the other person is saying, you read what the other person is posting.

Face Book is great in that it gives us a somewhat safe environment in which to express ourselves. You post your daily events, a picture of you and your friends, quotes and viewpoints. We get to know what’s important to you. What are your interests and hobbies, even what teams you follow?  Each posting brings us closer together and reveals a little bit more of you.  It reminds me of a song from The King and I. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, hoping that you like me.

We all get to know who you really are not the façade that you may present to the world. We get to know the true spirit behind the shell.  That’s not to say that you are normally a fake but that when we interact with others on a daily basis we don’t usually share what truly is important to us.  For example; how well do you know your coworkers? Do you REALLY know what is important to them and to what depth? When a friend on Face Book posts pictures, quotes or comments say on servicemen, a tragedy, or spiritual insights you really get a sense of who the person is even if you don’t agree with their viewpoint.
I’ll admit that there are Face Book friends that I don’t personally know but after following their posts I want to meet them.  I may even say that I really like this person.  In fact, there have been several occasions where eventually I have physically met a Face Book friend.  I feel as if I know them.  Yes, Face Book breaks down barriers.

There are millions of Face Book users worldwide but with each post it’s becoming a small world after all. Agree?

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Stop Discrimination. Let’s Start with Sports

Stop Discrimination. Let’s Start with Sports

Yep. If we’re really serious about having a good representation of our society then we’d have more white people playing professional football and basketball and we’d have more women running the country. What do you say, yes or no? Should we do it?

However, let’s be realistic.  As any coach will say you put the best person suited for the job or task in and not just because it’s their turn or to be fair to the other players. If you’re really serious about winning you use your best player or combination of players to execute and deliver to achieve the results you’re looking for.  Besides being talented you also need to have the desire, drive, determination and passion to achieve the results requested of you. Oh and another thing, you need to get along well with others.   Therefore, you can be the best wide receiver in the league but if you can’t get along with your fellow teammates and coaches you’re not going to last long, not because you’re not talented but because it’s exhausting trying to appease one player. It becomes a drain on the whole team and it’s just not worth the trouble. This happens in sports and well as business. Actually in the business world you’re let go a lot faster.

Using the best person for the job is what I believe is essential for success in business, government and our society today.  Professional sports, business and government would look differently today if it weren’t for the individuals who not only had the skill but had the will to see themselves through all the obstacles they had to endure to get there.

Therefore if a black person is better than a white person playing a sport then they should be the one to represent their team, city, state, country, sex, race and nationality, if a women is better equipped to run the country over any man then she should be the one chosen to do so. The same goes for any other field out there be it business, sports or government.

It’s not necessarily that there aren’t qualified people to do the job, but that the most qualified person doesn’t have the will to do it.  This isn’t a negative statement but a realization that perhaps the person has values such as family that out-way any contribution they believe they could make.  In that case, we don’t always get the best qualified but one of the best from the pool of candidates. Remember, sometimes just having the tenacity to stick with it has propelled some unlikely candidates into the position.

Let’s stop trying to be fair, who said life was supposed to be fair anyway, and have everyone focus on what they’re good at doing and let the chips fall where they may.  I wonder what that would look like.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Take a Little Piece of My Heart

Take a Little Piece of My Heart

That’s what it feels like when you dishonor yourself by being inauthentic.  A little piece of you dies because you chose to go with the crowd, to fit in, liked or accepted. That’s the price you just paid.

It’s not something tangible like money or even physically observed but something deep down happened to your self-esteem and respect when you chose to be inauthentic, to be who you really are just for the sake of being able to fit in.

It’s such a high price to pay and yet you won’t even realize how much until one day you wake up and wonder “Who am I? How did I, the real me, get lost in this game of life”.

I’ll tell you how it happened, slowly, bit by bit, with one fear after another until there are only traces of you left. Your truth is still hidden, afraid to be exposed which is quite understandable if you’re not quite sure about them or aren’t the type of person who can be diplomatic when disagreeing with others.  However, pretending to be, or hiding your true nature can cause all sorts of physical and emotional problems. 

One day you may explode and those around you will stand there in shock wondering what got into you. There must be something wrong with you if you can’t control yourself.  But who do you have to blame, no one but yourself because you let the fear of not being liked and accepted get in the way of being your authentic self?

What do you do now?  Well, you discover who the authentic self is within.  Day by day and bit by bit you meet those fears head on until your authentic self no longer feels the need to hide. In the end, you’ll find the people who are still in your life truly love and accept you for who you are.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Commitment – It’s Not Just a Piece of Paper

Commitment – It’s Not Just a Piece of Paper

There is something about vocally making a commitment, putting pen to paper and having witnesses that suddenly solidifies a commitment.  It’s as if it reached into the center of your being and makes you react with a sense of this is really important. Remember it. Don’t renege.

To the witnesses it gives the contract credibility but still there’s the physical words and signage that really gives it credence.  It not only brings it to the forefront of your conscious but gets embedded at the cellular level.
Commitment changes relationships. Your friends, neighbors, co-workers and even your in-laws come and go. Sure you may be uncomfortable with the change in the relationship but there was no commitment to fall back on.  They never indicated that they were going to be your friend forever. Besides, did you really lose a friend or did one of you decide to move on in order to grow? If that’s the case then that’s just a part of life.

How many times have you known or heard about a couple who have lived quite well together for several years only to get married and shortly thereafter get divorced? What changed the relationship, the commitment? It took on a new meaning, more importance.  A commitment has been made not only to another person but to yourself to uphold. Can you do it?

For some reason people think they’re getting married to appease religious beliefs, society or government.  Not true. Even in the Catholic religion, out of the seven sacraments, marriage is the only sacrament that is given from one person to another, the church only overseas it as a witness from God.  Therefore the commitment is between the man, women and God.  It’s really a private matter. If it’s not upheld you are breaking a promise not only to the other person but to yourself and sometimes those are the hardest to face, breaking a promise and thereby letting yourself down.

There are a few people who claim they won’t marry because it’s just a piece of paper, REALLY? The number one reason a person would say this is out of FEAR; fear of failure. If you don’t make a committed statement then you can’t fail.  Sure the person might go on and one about freedom from outside influences but really it comes down to fear.  It’s interesting to note that people have no problem signing contracts and commitments to do a job, make payments or such but to make a commitment to another person propels it to a whole new level. Suddenly excuses come up. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

To Serve With Love

To Serve With Love

The buzz word lately has been to go out and serve others and that our purpose for being here is to serve.  I don’t particularly like that train of thought but I couldn’t figure out why.  It sounds well and good to show your compassionate self but I just wasn’t having an overwhelming desire or feeling to do so and I couldn’t figure out why.  What’s wrong with me?
I understood that once you overcome a challenge you desire to share your experience with others to help them do the same.  I get that.  I found that I like the word help but not serve.  Perhaps it’s because it brings up a negative reaction which reminds me of servitude which can mean any of the following;

1.   The state of being a slave
2.   The state of being ruled or dominated by somebody or something.
3.   Work imposed as punishment
4.   Work for somebody

This means to me no joy or reward in return.  Of course when people say you’re here to serve others they’re not referring to it in this way but to assist somebody in a particular way.  You could say that parents do that all the time.  A mother serves dinner to her family and helps them with their homework. A father drives his son to soccer practice and teaches him how to ride a bike.  The big difference here is it’s out of love.  Sure a parent is required to provide food, clothing and shelter but everything else is optional like cell phones, designer jeans and the extracurricular activities.  And let’s not forget the real winners here like buying the juice you know your child likes, making his peanut butter and jelly sandwich just the way he likes it or washing her favorite pair of jeans ahead of time for an event. All these little things, and don’t kid yourself they’re big, are acts of love.  Parents serve their children out of love.

There’s a really good book called, The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman and one of the love languages is “acts of service”.  Basically its states that when you do for others it’s actually the way you express your love.  It really makes sense when you see how much extra a parent will do for their child. Of course “acts of service” doesn’t just show up in regards to children.  It will show up with anyone you care about in your life.  

Monday, July 25, 2016

Want a President Needs to Lead

Want a President Needs to Lead

What are you looking for in a President? First you need to decide what makes a good leader because that is what the President does, lead.  Some people are natural leaders. You see them at work, fund raisers or your family reunion.  They step up to the plate to take on a project. However you’ll notice something else too.  Some are natural leaders while others are doing it for the recognition or power.  What’s the difference?  The natural leader is the person people will follow even if they don’t have the title or have been given the responsibility.  They naturally know what to do.  They exude confidence, clarity and conviction. Oh and another thing, they make decisions that aren’t always popular but are followed because the people respect the person’s decision.

A good leader is a person who has the strength and courage to undertake large projects.  It’s the ability to weave universal principles with everyday life.  This person has the gift of power.  Yes the gift.  As much as power has a negative connotation it also has just as much a positive connotation.
The world needs the CEO, general, and the person of authority.  A leader claims and utilizes his gift of power for the overall goal of the enterprise he’s tasked with directing.  A true leader uses this personal power without dominance or intimidation.  He doesn’t necessarily make popular decisions because he’s making them with a higher purpose in mind. He leads because that’s his natural strength and people follow because they recognize and understand the clear direction they are to take to reach the desired outcome. He gets results.  For him not to lead would be like asking you or me not to breathe.  It’s what he does.

Along with the gift of being a natural leader there are also challenges to it which make the person go from being in the gift of it to being in the challenge of it.  When a person is consumed by the acquisition of wealth, order others around, is intimidating or dominating people then he is in the challenge of it and needs to get back into the gift of it.

So what does a leader look like?  Some of the most recent leaders that have exhibited both the gift and challenge of being in the gift of leadership are General George Patton, Donald Trump, Lee Iacocca and Margaret Thatcher.  If you study the history of how they became leaders and how they conducted themselves you’ll see the gift and challenge of being a great leader.   Each of them gained the experience with each new leadership role they encountered.  Each will go down in history as making a difference in their field.  And one other interesting note, they haven’t always been the most liked or popular at times but were/are respected.

You also have the gift of leadership and when you need it remember to claim it from a place of personal power and not through dominance or intimidation. 

(originally written in 2012)