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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

What’s Your Calling?

What’s Your Calling? 

Many years ago I was having a conversation with my aunt who’s been a teacher for over 20 years. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and told her that I was leaning towards being a teacher but that my Dad advised me not to do it. He said there are three things you don’t want to get into; teaching, banking and insurance. They don’t pay very well. That’s when my aunt told me that you don’t get into teaching for the money. It’s more of a calling.

From time to time I’ve heard others talk about it’s their calling. What does that mean? To me it means they’re drawn to it, a pull towards it. A calling doesn’t appear to happen often but some people do feel that pull. It’s not that it doesn’t exist in everyone but that we may have tuned it out, aren’t listening to it or that we are aware of it but has put it on hold. Perhaps life has been so busy that we haven’t had the time to reflect on it, to bring it to the forefront of our consciousness. If we did, we’d start manifesting it. I feel a pull but it’s usually not to a profession but more an interest. A calling is not only something you’re drawn to but also something that would give you great joy and satisfaction.

Unfortunately many people don’t act on their calling when they’re deciding what they what to do in life. They make their decisions based on salary, work hours and conditions which end up overriding the calling. Sometimes it takes decades, usually in middle age, that the person finally rediscovers they’re inner calling and acts on it. This is sad because society lost the person for all those years. They contributed to the economic structure of society but the person probably would have been more fulfilled and society in the end better off if the person had followed their calling.

So what’s your calling? What are you drawn to or compelled to do or be?  That’s the question you need to answer for yourself and then act on it. Just do it!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

What I Like About My Face Book Friends

What I Like About My Face Book Friends

As a coach I get to know my clients on a very deep level.  They tell me their hopes and dreams, things they may not even tell their friends, all without fear of being judged. Their secrets are safe with me.  Of course my job is to get them to embrace their talents and encourage their dreams.  Face Book is like coaching in a way but instead of listening closely to what the other person is saying, you read what the other person is posting.

Face Book is great in that it gives us a somewhat safe environment in which to express ourselves. You post your daily events, a picture of you and your friends, quotes and viewpoints. We get to know what’s important to you. What are your interests and hobbies, even what teams you follow?  Each posting brings us closer together and reveals a little bit more of you.  It reminds me of a song from The King and I. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, hoping that you like me.

We all get to know who you really are not the façade that you may present to the world. We get to know the true spirit behind the shell.  That’s not to say that you are normally a fake but that when we interact with others on a daily basis we don’t usually share what truly is important to us.  For example; how well do you know your coworkers? Do you REALLY know what is important to them and to what depth? When a friend on Face Book posts pictures, quotes or comments say on servicemen, a tragedy, or spiritual insights you really get a sense of who the person is even if you don’t agree with their viewpoint.
I’ll admit that there are Face Book friends that I don’t personally know but after following their posts I want to meet them.  I may even say that I really like this person.  In fact, there have been several occasions where eventually I have physically met a Face Book friend.  I feel as if I know them.  Yes, Face Book breaks down barriers.

There are millions of Face Book users worldwide but with each post it’s becoming a small world after all. Agree?

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Stop Discrimination. Let’s Start with Sports

Stop Discrimination. Let’s Start with Sports

Yep. If we’re really serious about having a good representation of our society then we’d have more white people playing professional football and basketball and we’d have more women running the country. What do you say, yes or no? Should we do it?

However, let’s be realistic.  As any coach will say you put the best person suited for the job or task in and not just because it’s their turn or to be fair to the other players. If you’re really serious about winning you use your best player or combination of players to execute and deliver to achieve the results you’re looking for.  Besides being talented you also need to have the desire, drive, determination and passion to achieve the results requested of you. Oh and another thing, you need to get along well with others.   Therefore, you can be the best wide receiver in the league but if you can’t get along with your fellow teammates and coaches you’re not going to last long, not because you’re not talented but because it’s exhausting trying to appease one player. It becomes a drain on the whole team and it’s just not worth the trouble. This happens in sports and well as business. Actually in the business world you’re let go a lot faster.

Using the best person for the job is what I believe is essential for success in business, government and our society today.  Professional sports, business and government would look differently today if it weren’t for the individuals who not only had the skill but had the will to see themselves through all the obstacles they had to endure to get there.

Therefore if a black person is better than a white person playing a sport then they should be the one to represent their team, city, state, country, sex, race and nationality, if a women is better equipped to run the country over any man then she should be the one chosen to do so. The same goes for any other field out there be it business, sports or government.

It’s not necessarily that there aren’t qualified people to do the job, but that the most qualified person doesn’t have the will to do it.  This isn’t a negative statement but a realization that perhaps the person has values such as family that out-way any contribution they believe they could make.  In that case, we don’t always get the best qualified but one of the best from the pool of candidates. Remember, sometimes just having the tenacity to stick with it has propelled some unlikely candidates into the position.

Let’s stop trying to be fair, who said life was supposed to be fair anyway, and have everyone focus on what they’re good at doing and let the chips fall where they may.  I wonder what that would look like.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Take a Little Piece of My Heart

Take a Little Piece of My Heart

That’s what it feels like when you dishonor yourself by being inauthentic.  A little piece of you dies because you chose to go with the crowd, to fit in, liked or accepted. That’s the price you just paid.

It’s not something tangible like money or even physically observed but something deep down happened to your self-esteem and respect when you chose to be inauthentic, to be who you really are just for the sake of being able to fit in.

It’s such a high price to pay and yet you won’t even realize how much until one day you wake up and wonder “Who am I? How did I, the real me, get lost in this game of life”.

I’ll tell you how it happened, slowly, bit by bit, with one fear after another until there are only traces of you left. Your truth is still hidden, afraid to be exposed which is quite understandable if you’re not quite sure about them or aren’t the type of person who can be diplomatic when disagreeing with others.  However, pretending to be, or hiding your true nature can cause all sorts of physical and emotional problems. 

One day you may explode and those around you will stand there in shock wondering what got into you. There must be something wrong with you if you can’t control yourself.  But who do you have to blame, no one but yourself because you let the fear of not being liked and accepted get in the way of being your authentic self?

What do you do now?  Well, you discover who the authentic self is within.  Day by day and bit by bit you meet those fears head on until your authentic self no longer feels the need to hide. In the end, you’ll find the people who are still in your life truly love and accept you for who you are.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Commitment – It’s Not Just a Piece of Paper

Commitment – It’s Not Just a Piece of Paper

There is something about vocally making a commitment, putting pen to paper and having witnesses that suddenly solidifies a commitment.  It’s as if it reached into the center of your being and makes you react with a sense of this is really important. Remember it. Don’t renege.

To the witnesses it gives the contract credibility but still there’s the physical words and signage that really gives it credence.  It not only brings it to the forefront of your conscious but gets embedded at the cellular level.
Commitment changes relationships. Your friends, neighbors, co-workers and even your in-laws come and go. Sure you may be uncomfortable with the change in the relationship but there was no commitment to fall back on.  They never indicated that they were going to be your friend forever. Besides, did you really lose a friend or did one of you decide to move on in order to grow? If that’s the case then that’s just a part of life.

How many times have you known or heard about a couple who have lived quite well together for several years only to get married and shortly thereafter get divorced? What changed the relationship, the commitment? It took on a new meaning, more importance.  A commitment has been made not only to another person but to yourself to uphold. Can you do it?

For some reason people think they’re getting married to appease religious beliefs, society or government.  Not true. Even in the Catholic religion, out of the seven sacraments, marriage is the only sacrament that is given from one person to another, the church only overseas it as a witness from God.  Therefore the commitment is between the man, women and God.  It’s really a private matter. If it’s not upheld you are breaking a promise not only to the other person but to yourself and sometimes those are the hardest to face, breaking a promise and thereby letting yourself down.

There are a few people who claim they won’t marry because it’s just a piece of paper, REALLY? The number one reason a person would say this is out of FEAR; fear of failure. If you don’t make a committed statement then you can’t fail.  Sure the person might go on and one about freedom from outside influences but really it comes down to fear.  It’s interesting to note that people have no problem signing contracts and commitments to do a job, make payments or such but to make a commitment to another person propels it to a whole new level. Suddenly excuses come up.