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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

It’s okay to be selfish


You’re selfish, yeah really selfish, but it’s okay because you’re in the majority. We’re all guilty of it but is it really a gift? I say its self preservation.

Sure there will be people who disagree with this saying that they do things for others.  In fact, I’ve heard some rather successful entrapeanuers say that not only their business but everyone else’s business is about serving others.  They’ll say something to the effect that your purpose in life is to serve others.  I disagree.

Let me clarify.  What they really are saying is that THEIR purpose is to serve others. They get something out of it and therefore you should too.  I don’t know how or why they are pinning the thing that gives THEM joy onto the whole human race. I believe everyone has a purpose, a learning experience if you will, that will give then the joy and happiness that they seek.  It’s unique to the individual and not a one size fits all. All of us will give or serve but to the degree to which it is most satisfying to the individual. In other words, to the point it makes you feel good. Anymore than that and you start to feel anxiety.  So while one person can give $20 to a charity/cause and feel good about it, another doesn’t feel good until they’ve given $100 and maybe helped out a bit.  Still another person doesn’t feel good unless she is fully engaged in the charity such as physically working there or running the show.

They’re all looking for the WIIFM station (what’s in it for me) but to the degree it’ll make them feel good. The WIIFM is the feel good part. Once that’s accomplished they’re ready to move on. The WIIFM shows up all over the place in your life. You date, marry, hang-out, make purchases, work and go places that will give you the experiences for happiness. You’re a feel good, find happiness seeker and what’s wrong with that?

Spiritually we’re each searching for joy and happiness; therefore we’re looking for the people and events, situations that will provide it. You could say it’s as innate as the survival instinct we have. In fact it’s what we came here to do; find joy and happiness, so go ahead and be selfish.  It’s who-you-are.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Whose Business is it anyway?

Several years ago I came across the work of Byron Katie. She has such great insight that I thought I would share it.

“I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's. Reality is God. Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control, I call that God's business.

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, "You need to get a job, I want you to be happy", I am in your business. When I'm worried about earthquakes, floods, or war, I am in God's business. I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else's business. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own life. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn't work.

The next time you're feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you're in mentally, and you may burst out laughing! That question can bring you back to yourself. And you may come to see that you've never really been present, that you've been mentally living in other people's business all your life. Just to notice that you're in someone else's business can bring you back to your own wonderful self.

And if you practice it for a while, you may come to see that you don't have any business either and that your life runs perfectly well on its own”.

"Loving What Is" - Byron Katie

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Your Life is Already in Harmony

We put up our own obstacles. That's right!

However, we are no different than nature. It is always in harmony, in balance. It is constantly recreating itself and evolving into something new. The change maybe slow but it is still there. When we hear about a forest fire we can be sad because we think of all the nice plants and animals that perished but it doesn’t take long before new growth takes place. In fact it’s good to have fires from time to time hence the reason the fire department has controlled burns. They would rather have a controlled burn than an unexpected fire.  

When a species no longer exists it probably has served its purpose for that time period and now something else has evolved. It is not until outside forces, such as humans, upset that balance that it becomes a problem. Imagine if dinosaurs and wooly beasts still roamed the earth. Animals either learn to adapt or they perish. The same can be said for humans but that’s another post. The point being is nature always stays in balance. Whenever something gets out of whack an adjustment is made to bring it back into harmony. We could learn a lot by just watching nature unfold.

As humans we are no different. We are where we are supposed to be whether we like it or not. Through our thoughts, word and actions, we are where we’re supposed to be. There are no accidents. What gets in the way is when we think we can control situations and/or people. We can't. We can only control our thoughts, language, and actions. Basically we can only control our own perception about whatever is happening that we may agree or disagree with therefore we are always in harmony with what we’ve put out. Give that some thought because it really is true.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Be in the Moment


To be in the moment means to be aware of the present. What is happening right now? Right now is the only time you have. Yesterday is gone. The future isn't here yet. Therefore, the only thing you have control over is the present moment. What are you going to do with it? Think about what you could of, should of, or would have done or worry about the future.

A great quote I ran across about worry states, "Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." How true! The present is where it's at and it's the only place you can be. Work on today to make tomorrow what you want it to be.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

When the Student is Ready the Teacher Will Appear


What does that mean anyway? It's simple. When you are ready to begin searching for an answer suddenly opportunities, contacts, and information becomes available. How does that work? You become aware.

Consciously you are now aware of anything that might vaguely help you in your search. You could pass by a business every day for years not even aware of all the services they provide, or you could know an acquaintance that specializes or knows of someone who specializes in the information you are searching for without even knowing it. Because you are on a mission to get this information, your senses are in overdrive. Every paper, book, store, or person could be or lead you to where you want to go. Your senses are not only in overdrive but so is your vocabulary. You actively tell people about your quest and even during a light chat you mention it. Suddenly opportunity seems to be knocking at your door.

Without even trying, the information you needed is coming to you from all sources. You notice that the business you've pasted by for the last four years has just what you're looking for. It was always advertised in smaller print but you never noticed it before. That acquaintance you ran into three weeks ago calls and says he's talked to a friend of his that can help you out. You are ready to learn and the teachers (books, resources, contacts) have appeared.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Allow Yourself to be YOU


Everything that you perceive is from the perspective of self: and if you are not selfish enough to insist on your connection or alignment with your wiser Inner Being (spirit) then you have nothing to offer to others.  As the saying goes, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can assist others. When your needs are met you have more to offer others. The same goes with how you view yourself.

By being selfish enough to care how you feel you can then utilize your Guidance System (emotions) to align with the powerful energy source within, and then anyone who is fortunate enough to be your object of attention benefits.

It’s important that you allow yourself to pay attention to what you want. There are those who call that selfishness, and they do so in a judging or disapproving way. But unless you have a healthy view of self, unless you are allowing yourself to want, and expecting to receive that which you want, you will never be deliberate in creating it and you will never have a very satisfying experience.

The not allowing of self is usually where the not allowing of others comes forth. Usually the one who is most disapproving of a quality in himself notices the same quality in others, and disapproves of it there as well. And so, the accepting, approving, appreciating and allowing of oneself is the first step in appreciating, approving, or allowing of others.

When you are in a state of allowing others to be who they are, you do not have negative emotions about it. The state of allowing is freedom from negativity; therefore, when you have set forth your deliberate intent to have something and you are feeling only positive emotion about it, then you are in the state of allowing it to be. And then you will have it.  It sounds simple enough but it does take practice.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Claim Your Power


Some people say that they do not like the concept of power and want no part of it. It is true that in our world the word "power" has some negative overtone. It often implies control over others, and, unfortunately, is often misused.

The kind of power I am talking about is entirely different. In fact, it makes you less manipulative of those around you, and certainly more loving. I am talking about power within the self. This means power over your perceptions of the world, power over how you react to situations in your life, power to do what is necessary for you own self-growth, power to create joy and satisfaction in your life, power to act, and power to love.

This kind of power has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not egomania, but a healthy self-love. In fact, egomaniacs have absolutely no feeling of power-thus their compelling need to control those around them. Their lack of power leaves them in a perpetual state of fear, since their survival depends on the outside world. No one is more unloving than a person who can't own his or her own power. Such people spend their lives trying to pull it out of everyone else. Their need creates all sorts of manipulative behavior.

The kind of power I'm talking about leaves you free, since you don't expect the rest of the world to fill you up. It's not the ability to get someone else to do what you want them to do. It's the ability to get yourself to do what you want to do. If you do not own this kind of power, you lose your sense of peace. You are in a very vulnerable place.

When you become powerful within yourself, then you become authentic and loving to those around you. The truth is that love and power go together. With power, one can really begin to open the heart. With no power, love is distorted. You can easily play into being the victim.

Monday, February 2, 2015

The Never-Ending Drama


What’s a never ending drama? Take your pick. There’s the Israeli-Arab-Palestine conflict, race relations and let’s not forget the Islamic discord. These conflicts have been going on for centuries and yet they’re not resolved. Why? Well, each position could give you a host of reason why, usually blaming the other guy or nation.  Notice the finger is never pointed at themselves. The funny thing is that’s the ONLY thing they have control over, their own words and actions. You can’t control or affect change with someone else unless they truly agree. In most all instances there was a wrong or perceived wrong done to a class, group, race etc and they want restitution for it.

Let’s explore the thought that what is desired really does come to fruition.  What if the Palestines get their own state and everything else they believe is owed them, what if the black community does achieve the equality and restitution for slavery they believe they are due, what if the Islamists are able to have their own sovereign government within the US to promote their own version of Sharia Law wo`uld that finally silence these groups? I seriously doubt it. In every example it would disenfranchise another group and eventually the next group would rise up and complain.  It becomes a never ending cycle of discontent. When will it ever end?

What these people don’t get is that the past is the past and it can’t be changed. You can only learn from it and make better choices going forward. There will never be enough money, land, forgiveness or whatever you’re looking for to make the negative feelings in the heart go away.  Only you can release this negative energy in order to open up to new possibilities. The answer or solution to discord isn’t by or through someone or something else but through the hearts and minds of those who hold onto being right and are hell bent on getting their way at any cost.

Unity, acceptance and forgiveness are the true paths to ending the drama. Who has the power to end this madness?  As you can see the answer lies within each of us, to accept others as they are and realize the past is the past because of the decisions made by those who came before us.