Violence is NEVER the answer

You always know when a person or group is losing an argument when they must resort first to yelling and name calling, second comes the pushing, and shoving until eventually it boils over into a full out act of violence. What happened? The people involved couldn’t control their emotions. That’s not a good example of maturity.

The Women’s March has such a convoluted and mish mash of mixed messages. It’s better to stay on point with a single message. Instead the media gave more attention to the swearing, vulgarity, and violence than the message the protesters wanted to convey.  In the process their message was a side item and made women look like the stereotypical unhinged emotional women on PMS.

Milo Yiannopaulos, I never heard of the guy until it was reported that protesters had blocked entrances and had become violent. Again, it was the violence and property damage that was reported instead of the protesters message. Thanks to them I now find myself watching Milo’s videos to find out what was so disturbing about him. I don’t think that was the protesters intention. I get it. You don’t like his message but was violence the answer? Was destruction of property, which is paid for with tax dollars which includes the protesters parents, the answer. I wonder how much tuition is going to go up now for future students because of their actions

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History has proven that Gandhi and MLK were more successful with their peaceful protests. Mother Teresa understood the Law of Attraction. She’d walk for peace but not to protest a war. Do you understand the difference? Where attention goes energy flows. By marching for peace, the attention is on peace versus for war. The Law of Attraction is very powerful that’s why some 10 religions have various versions of it.

There seems to be quite a few people who insist on resisting the new administration instead of trying to make it work. What are they making more important? I’d say they’re viewpoint and opinions are more important than solving the issues they claim are important to them. When you find yourself in a situation you’re unhappy about, in this case criticizing everything in this administration, you have only three courses of action; 1) Become part of the solution 2) Leave the situation 3) Put up with it. Notice violence isn’t part of the actions.

So why are people turning to violence instead of accepting reality and working within it? Good question. Personally, I don’t understand the logic in that. It’s as if they’ll stop at nothing to get their way. Is that really helping the country? Does that mean for four years all they’re going to do is resist? Where will our country be then, nowhere, because there is no negotiating with violence. They can work within it, which would help the country plus give them respect, or they can choose to resist. The choice is theirs. 

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.

It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

You lost me at ^*% #%^$

Do you know when you’re winning an argument? When the other person is starting to lose it? It’s when the other person starts to raise their voice followed by yelling with possibly some swear words thrown in for good affect. If it escalates even further you have some type of violence towards person or property. It’s not a pretty sight. Basically, what has happened is the person who starts to raise their voice has let their emotions take over instead of allowing reason and logic to win their case.

Think about this for moment. Isn’t that exactly what happens in a bar fight, disagreement at work or social function? Why is it so hard to accept that another person’ viewpoint may differ from yours? It doesn’t make it wrong, just different. We all have our own worldview and everything is run through these filters first.

You will not be able to understand where someone is coming from unless you find out what made the person reach their conclusion. And how do you do that? You ask lot of questions and then listen for the response. Try to understand their answer from their point of view.

However, when you’re having a conversation and one or both person(s) becomes emotionally unhinged, the possibility of having meaningful dialogue has just been killed and the hope of reason returning will only occur when cooler heads prevail.

I bring this up in regards to the continuing protests. There’s nothing wrong with protesting but once it turns to violence the message has been lost. The focus then is on the violent action and not the protester’s message. Is that what the protesters really want?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Sure, you do.  We all do from time to time.  What is it? It’s taking a position on an issue that has been first filtered through your own social, economic, race, religion, gender etc. and then basing your vote on what’s in it for me (WIIFM).

Let’s face it.  It’s very difficult to base a decision entirely on an objective point of view when the decision directly or indirectly affects you.  The emotions can be too strong to make an objective decision.  You would need to take yourself out of the picture and view the issue on a higher level with no regard to the outcome.  It means being objective and doing what’s best for the whole of society not just what’s good for you.  It’s looking at the issue from a broader perspective. 

However, I’d like to note that sometimes helping a few (companies, agencies etc.) ends up helping more of the masses in the long run than vice versa.  To understand which would be the better decision you would need to be well educated and informed in that area.  All too often it’s the loudest voice that is heard which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the viewpoint to base your decision on. You need to do your research and listen to all viewpoints.  More important, you need to discern between the rhetoric, emotional positions, and the facts to find the truth. It’s taking the emotion out of it and deciding from an objective point of view no matter what affect it will personally have on you.

If you want our country and world to be a better place the love of it must be greater than what is in it for me.  What is the greater good? It comes down to what are you making more important?

Most people want what’s best for their country but the conflict arises on what it’s to look like and even more on how to go about making that vision a reality. Currently there is no clear vision that the masses have bought into.  There is a great divide and therefore the country will have a difficult time moving forward until a vision is laid out that the masses can really rally behind.  Only then will the Law of Attraction take hold. 

Celebrate What Unites Us Not What Divides Us

Celebrate What Unites Us Not What Divides Us

“As world events reflect, we remain far from mastering the art of human relations.  We have invented no technology that will guide us to the destinations that matter most.

After two world wars, the Holocaust, multiple genocides, and countless conflicts, we must ask how long it will be before we are able to rise above the national, racial, and gender distinctions that divide us, and embrace the common humanity that binds us.

The answer depends not on the starts or some mysterious forces of history; it depends on the choices that you and I and all of us make.” ~ Madeleine Albright

 

Nothing tears people more apart than pointing out what separates them from one another rather than what binds them.  Take any natural disaster and suddenly nationality, race, gender or political affiliation doesn’t matter anymore.  People unite for the common good of solving the problem at hand.

As the saying goes, “Where attention goes energy flows”.  When you focus on what divides us, even more things that divide us will come to mind. Things that you didn’t even give much thought to now rise to the surface and become important simply because you put your attention on it.  However when you focus on what binds us you can actually feel yourself becoming more calm and relaxed. Try it.

I’ve traveled to many places around the world and for the most part everybody is the same. They want the same things out of life like raising a happy and healthy family, finding fulfillment in their work and being able to worship in their own way.  There are things that are understood in any culture like laughter and compassion. These are the things that we should be focusing on instead of our differences.

The real kicker is you and I have the power to bind us rather than divide us by the choices we make every day.  It could show up in what we do or say.

Make the call.

Too Much Structured Play is Ruining Our Children – Let Them Play

Talk to any parent and they can recall a time when they bought their child something but the child had more fun playing with the packaging than the toy. Or, the child could have made up a story regarding a set up of Tupperware, pots and pans, sand, blocks, you name it.  If there aren’t toys or games around give it time and your child will think up something to do.  It’s their imagination running wild.  Our brains are very creative and they can’t stay still for long.

Imagination is where dreams are created and realized. It all begins in the mind. First you have to have the thought to even begin to figure out how you’re going to make something happen, which brings me to structured play.  Structured play is well and good to teach our youngsters how to interact fairly with each other, however, in this effort to effectively socialize our youngsters, their active imagination gets squelched. There gets to be so many rules and regulation to follow that the children aren‘t given ample space to develop their imagination. It sometimes becomes a control issue for the adult population as if they constantly have to entertain their children.  That is nonsense.

It’s actually in the quiet self play when a child or an adult for that matter connects with who they really are. They begin to hear what their guides are telling them. They listen to the inner voice inside that tells them what advice or direction to take. 

It can happen to you to if you listen.  However, as an adult you can get so busy doing this or that you aren’t listening until something happens and you hear yourself say something like, “I knew I should have (blank) instead of (blank).” It’s when your thoughts start to wander that you’re starting to connect to your inner self.  Listen up.  Sometimes it happens when you’re doing the most mundane things like cleaning, driving or walking.  You’re mind isn’t actively engaged and therefore it’s free to wander when you’re doing a routine task.  This happens quite a lot for some people but then there are others who really want to connect so they meditate by focusing on their breathing. 

The point is when you set your mind free from active thought your imagination can really take off. Some of the best ideas come to you when you stop concentrating on what you want to create.  Children do this naturally but as we mature we tend to forget to just play. Let’s play.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create."

~ Albert Einstein

U.S.  in Mideast Business

How did the U.S. ever get so involved in another country’s business in the first place?  I’d say it’s because we were asked.

There was a time in history when the U.S. got criticized for not paying attention or caring about what was happening in Europe.  We were accused of being in our own world, and we were.  We had no reason to get involved in the politics and territory disputes of other countries.  We were totally solvent as a country.  What was in it for us anyway?

Eventually we did get involved in other country’s business due to pressure and the growing need to establish forging relations.  So in essence, we did get something out of it, we became established as a reliable foreign partner.

It would be naïve to believe that a country helping out another is solely doing it out of an act of kindness. It could be to promote democracy, gain diplomatic favor, protect an ally, and gain a strategic foreign base location, trading in goods and services or a host of other avenues.  The point being, we do expect to get something out of it.  No matter how much on the outside it appears we’re defending another because it’s the right thing to do, we’re still getting something out of it.  Sometimes it shows up soft as diplomatic relations and other times it’s bolds as exchange for oil.

The U. S. wasn’t committed in WWII until Pearl Harbor.  Basically the Japanese picked a fight (a bolder form of asking) and we complied.  For years the Mideast has been trying to get our attention about their conflict. While the extremists try bullying tactics by bombing our embassies and ships, the powers involved on one hand criticize us for getting involved while the other criticizes us for not helping out more. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.  How do you win in that scenario?  I’m still confused as to what they were trying to accomplish.  They didn’t want us involved in their business yet they’ve kept picking fights.  We’ve been dancing around this whole Mideast conflict for years but when 911 came we were thrust smack dap into it and now it is our business. 

Even though the extremists say they want us out they continue to make it our business.  It doesn’t make sense. They figure if they hurt us enough we’ll back off. On the contrary, it just pisses us off and becomes our business.  I’d venture to say that we’ll get out of the Mideast conflict when it stops becoming our business and when we’re not getting anything out of it.

Just like in human interactions and events it’s good to ask yourself if it’s any of your business, if it’s not, stay out.  The vast majority of emotional turmoil, arguments and upsets are due to someone getting into someone else’s business.

The next time you find yourself getting upset over a person, situation or event stop and ask yourself if it’s any of your business, chances are its not.  You will find yourself a whole lot happier when you stay in your business.

As far as the US is concerned, do you believe she’s staying in her business?

You Have the Freedom to Choose

Everyone has the freedom to choose.  You make choices every day.  Should I eat the cookie or go for an apple? Should I yield to the merging car or should I speed ahead? Should I get angry when things don’t go the way I’d like or do I accept the things I have no control over? These are the kind of constant choices you make every day.

The choices you make may seem minute but they set you up for how you look, feel, and progress through life.  For example let’s say you really want to get this promotion you’ve had your sights on for some time, however, when the time comes you don’t get it.  It turns out the electing official didn’t think you were a team player because he had overheard you bashing the company and management.  In essence you created your own outcome.  You made the choice to talk about management in a negative way.  Even if what you said wasn’t meant to be heard, in the long run it’s better from the employer’s viewpoint not to have given you the promotion.

You have the freedom to choose who you hang out with to what type of vehicle you drive.  Therefore, don’t complain when gas prices go sky high when you knowingly purchased a vehicle that gets low miles per gallon.  You purchased the vehicle based on other factors. Essentially you made something else more important.  If gas prices continue to remain high, in the future, you may opt to purchase a vehicle with better gas mileage. You make a better choice for you.

The choices you make set you up for the experiences you’re going to have.  If you want better experiences you need to make better choices.  Choose wisely.

The Never-Ending Drama

 

What’s a never ending drama? Take your pick. There’s the Israeli-Arab-Palestine conflict, race relations and let’s not forget the Islamic discord. These conflicts have been going on for centuries and yet they’re not resolved. Why? Well, each position could give you a host of reason why, usually blaming the other guy or nation.  Notice the finger is never pointed at themselves. The funny thing is that’s the ONLY thing they have control over, their own words and actions. You can’t control or affect change with someone else unless they truly agree. In most all instances there was a wrong or perceived wrong done to a class, group, race etc and they want restitution for it.

Let’s explore the thought that what is desired really does come to fruition.  What if the Palestines get their own state and everything else they believe is owed them, what if the black community does achieve the equality and restitution for slavery they believe they are due, what if the Islamists are able to have their own sovereign government within the US to promote their own version of Sharia Law wo`uld that finally silence these groups? I seriously doubt it. In every example it would disenfranchise another group and eventually the next group would rise up and complain.  It becomes a never ending cycle of discontent. When will it ever end?

What these people don’t get is that the past is the past and it can’t be changed. You can only learn from it and make better choices going forward. There will never be enough money, land, forgiveness or whatever you’re looking for to make the negative feelings in the heart go away.  Only you can release this negative energy in order to open up to new possibilities. The answer or solution to discord isn’t by or through someone or something else but through the hearts and minds of those who hold onto being right and are hell bent on getting their way at any cost.

Unity, acceptance and forgiveness are the true paths to ending the drama. Who has the power to end this madness?  As you can see the answer lies within each of us, to accept others as they are and realize the past is the past because of the decisions made by those who came before us.

Bring Back the UNITED in United States

Which would you rather be united or separate? There’s a reason the United States are called the United States. Separate territories united under a common philosophy of how they wanted their new country governed.

Image if that had not happened. What if the original 13 colonies had become individual countries each with its own government and infrastructure? What would the continent look like then? What if the U.S. never purchased the Louisiana Territory? The U.S. would be more like Canada but with a much larger portion of its citizens speaking French. I could go on about the Indians and Mexican territories but I think you get the picture. Our whole country would be different. The U. S. would instead be more like Europe with whole countries the size of one of our states possibly speaking another language.

Instead our forefathers had the foresight to realize the beauty and power of having all the territories come together as a whole. They knew this country would be stronger if it were united instead of separate, which brings me to my next point. There seems to be a tearing apart, to make separate, or highlight differences more in the media and from people of influence than there is to bring people together. This, in my opinion, is a disservice to the country.

What brings people together is their commonalities like the philosophy set forth in the Declaration of Independence or the safety of our children. There will always be differences between people, to be sure, but they can be overcome when people find common ground. It’s the core fabric of our nation. When the World Trade Center towers were destroyed many people came together to support and help out however they could. Everyone now has a common experience to share with others that will bring them together. Just like people remember where they were and what they were doing when Kennedy was shot, people will remember 911 the same. “Where were you when the towers went down”?

Early immigrants came here for various reasons; freedom of religion, the opportunity to own land and thus create a better life, to escape tyranny, to keep the money they earned.  They left their family and friends and risked everything for a chance at a better life. They knew it wasn’t going to be easy but knew it was going to be worth it. They came from many different parts of the world, each with their own cultures and language. But you know what? They all adapted to their new surroundings. Over the years they eventually learned to get along and speak the same language, they had to if they wanted to succeed.

It’s the commonalities that unite us. It doesn’t matter if your black, Asian, Spanish, gay, Republican, Democrat, Tea Party, Pro-life,  Abortion Supporter, women’s rights or environmentalist, in order to be a strong nation we have to stay united. We MUST! Our forefathers understood that. Let’s not blow it.