How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is it to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it. It’s also said that 90% of conflicts are due to your tone of voice while only 10% is for the conflict itself.

How you show up can make all the difference in the world on the outcome you receive. 

All You Need is Love

Boy the Beetles sure did get that right. It’s such a simple phrase yet behind it lies so much meaning.

Let’s break it down. It’s like happiness in that when all the expectations you may have for someone else or yourself doesn’t come through, if you’re still happy, in the end isn’t that all that matters?

To really to the jest of it let’s look at from a devastation point of view. A family has lost everything they have for from war, theft, natural disaster, or fire. I mean everything. All their material possessions are scattered, burned, stolen even their clothes are gone. They have no food or even utensils to make it if they did. No home, just the clothes on their backs. And yet they manage to carry on surviving. They take care of each other. Some would call it faith. When the outlook is so dire where do you go? You go inward to your heart and soul looking for the strength to pull you through. Amazingly with much searching you realize you have everything you need, the love of your family and friends. It’s a strong bond that gives you hope and pulls you through.

Now you don’t have to find yourself in such a crisis to have the same experience. People who go through drug addiction, abuse or a bad marriage can also drag you down to where you have little hope. However, just like the other examples you need to look within for the love that exists in all of us. Look around at all the people willing to help. That’s others showing their love.

Love, it’s the four-letter word to move you forward, calm your emotions, and ultimately pull you through. In the quiet still voice within is the Creator reminding you to love yourself because you’re worth it. The Creator doesn’t make mistakes. He gives you opportunities to grow. It may not appear so at first but in the spiritual world making it through the hard times pays dividends.

In the end love is all we need. 

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.

It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

You lost me at ^*% #%^$

Do you know when you’re winning an argument? When the other person is starting to lose it? It’s when the other person starts to raise their voice followed by yelling with possibly some swear words thrown in for good affect. If it escalates even further you have some type of violence towards person or property. It’s not a pretty sight. Basically, what has happened is the person who starts to raise their voice has let their emotions take over instead of allowing reason and logic to win their case.

Think about this for moment. Isn’t that exactly what happens in a bar fight, disagreement at work or social function? Why is it so hard to accept that another person’ viewpoint may differ from yours? It doesn’t make it wrong, just different. We all have our own worldview and everything is run through these filters first.

You will not be able to understand where someone is coming from unless you find out what made the person reach their conclusion. And how do you do that? You ask lot of questions and then listen for the response. Try to understand their answer from their point of view.

However, when you’re having a conversation and one or both person(s) becomes emotionally unhinged, the possibility of having meaningful dialogue has just been killed and the hope of reason returning will only occur when cooler heads prevail.

I bring this up in regards to the continuing protests. There’s nothing wrong with protesting but once it turns to violence the message has been lost. The focus then is on the violent action and not the protester’s message. Is that what the protesters really want?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Sure you do.  We all do from time to time.  What is it? It’s taking a position on an issue that has been first filtered through your own social, economic, race, religion, gender etc and then basing your vote on what’s in it for me (WIIFM).

Let’s face it.  It’s very difficult to base a decision entirely on an objective point of view when the decision directly or indirectly affects you.  The emotions can be too strong to make an objective decision.  You would need to take yourself out of the picture and view the issue on a higher level with no regard to the outcome.  It means being totally objective and doing what’s best for the whole of society not just what’s good for you.  It’s looking at the issue from a broader perspective. 

However, I’d like to note that sometimes helping a few (companies, agencies etc) actually ends up helping out more of the masses in the long run than vice versa.  To understand which would be the better decision you would need to be well educated and informed in that area.  All too often it’s the loudest voice that is heard which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the viewpoint to base your decision on. You need to do your research and listen to all view points.  More important, you need to discern between the rhetoric, emotional positions and the facts in order to find the truth. It’s taking the emotion out of it and making a decision from an objective point of view no matter what affect it will personally have on you.

If you want our country and world to be a better place the love of it must be greater than what is in it for you.  What is the greater good? It comes down to what are you making more important?

In the Law of One you are either serving yourself or serving others. Which is it for you? Don’t get shook up about this we all go back and forth between the two. Sometimes the people who are helping others are just helping themselves by making themselves feel better about who they are, trying to look good, getting paid to do it, anticipating kudos for it or even just getting votes for it.  Another point to consider in the Law of One is whether your actions are violating another person’s free will. That’s a tough one too. Are all parties in agreement? For example, is the government violating their citizen’s free will when those who oppose Planned Parenthood are required to pay for it through taxes? My viewpoint is yes.

Most people want what’s best for their country but the conflict arises on what it’s to look like and even more on how to go about making that vision a reality. Currently there is no clear vision that the masses have bought into.  There is a great divide and therefore the country will have a difficult time moving forward until a vision is laid out that the masses can really rally behind.  Only then will the Law of Attraction take hold.

As a side note, there is only one law. All other laws are distortions of the Law of One. 

Need a Quick Pick Me Up?

Need a Quick Pick Me Up?

When you need a quick pick me up when you’re feeling down remind yourself of all the compliments you’ve received over the years, you know the ones you brush off as nothing, these are your strong points, the ones that you’ve embodied to thoroughly they are just a part of who you are.  Your unique blend of strengths, missteps and view point is what makes you stand out. Embrace it.
Typically, someone or something reminded you of an attribute that isn’t your strong point and now you’re dwelling on that instead of acknowledging it and focusing on what are your strong points.  We all have areas that we’re strong in and other areas that we are not. No one is perfect. Don’t worry yourself silly over it.  It’s just a waste of time.

There are far too many influences in your life that can literally stop you from becoming who you were born to be.  Your well-meaning parents, colleagues and friends may have talked you out of what you wanted to do for fear you might be get hurt or not make enough money.  The list could go on and on.  I know I’ve done it myself.  At the time I thought I was looking out for my friend. I know now that it was what she wanted and I talked her out of having that experience. It won’t happen again.

Too often you can get caught up in the day to day activities of your life that you forget who you are and what you wanted.  The demands of earning a living and societies’ pressure can make you lose sight of what you initially wanted to do.  Some day you may even wake up and ask yourself “Why am I doing this.  Am I happy doing this? Is this bringing me joy? Am I out of whack with who I am? Does this really fit who I am?” Are you lost in the “doing” of life instead of the “being” of life? To “BE” is to be who you are in an authentic, in the moment way.  It’s a “Here I am take it or leave it attitude” A good question to ask yourself is if money, time and education weren’t a factor, what would you be doing now? When you’re young and contemplating what you want to be when you grow up you are actually closer to who you are then when you start factoring in the above criteria.

Who are you anyway?  What makes you stand out? What are the unique blend of talents and experiences that only you can offer? Figure out what that is and use it to your advantage. When you’re feeling down and losing confidence in yourself, pick yourself up by reminding yourself that you do have a unique blend of talents and you just need the right venue to express them.

You can also like my FB page, Pick Me Up, Please, to receive daily inspirational messages.

https://www.facebook.com/Pick-Me-Up-Please-217921961610979/

Turn That Music Down. I Can’t Hear Myself Think

Turn That Music Down. I Can’t Hear Myself Think

Did your parents ever say that to you?  Mine did.  I never understood what they were talking about back then but I do now.

What is it about a kid’s brain that they can take so much in at one time and still want more? Some kids insist that they need to have the TV on or be listening to music otherwise they can’t get their homework done.  Sometimes I think it’s because they need to keep one part of their brain occupied so they can concentrate on the task at hand.  Their brain is like a sponge therefore they have this enormous capacity to take in information without being consciously aware of it.  We all have this capacity but it’s much greater when we’re younger.

So what happens as we age?  I believe we still have this capacity and desire to take in information however as we age we’re not looking “out there” for the answers so much as we’re trying to connect with our higher self.  Instead of looking for an answer “out there” we trust our own instincts either through experience or knowingness that has served us well in the past.

I’m sure there have been times when you’ve been in your vehicle where either the traffic or weather got so bad that the first thing you reached for is to turn off any noise around you.  You turn off the radio, let go of the phone or tell the occupants to be quiet so you can think.  Perhaps what you’re really saying is that you need it quiet so that you can listen to your inner guide.  It’s saying ‘I know what to do but I can’t hear it with all this commotion going on’.

This is an example of listening to your inner voice.  The great thing is that it’s always there for you.  You just need to give it a platform to be heard. So yeah, I do say, “Turn that music down. I can’t hear myself think” and it’s okay if you do it too. 

What Cell Phones can Teach us About Faith?

What Cell Phones can Teach us About Faith?

 

Telephones still amaze me.  You can dial a number across the world and in just a few seconds you’re connected.  Amazing!  It just baffles my mind how Alexander Graham Bell even had the thought that it was possible.  Look at us now!

How about radio?  Who knew all those radio waves were always around us just waiting to be tapped. Makes you wonder what else is out there to be discovered.  We’ve probably only scratched the surface.

Combine the two and what have you got – cell phones.  Who today doesn’t have a cell phone, not many? They’re everywhere and being used for all sorts of things.  How many applications do you have?

They’re getting to be so common and such an integral part of our daily lives that some people can’t live without them. Teenagers practically can’t communicate without them. If they’re not talking on them they’re texting, listening to music or playing a game. They’re taken for granted.

What confuses me about some people is how they can grasp the concept of everyday technology that they can’t see or understand yet question the existence of a higher power because they can’t see, hear or feel it. They need proof.

Does everything have to be proven first to be believed? Science is an avenue for proof.  It’s the mind saying convince me or to say that it’s right. Technology is the vehicle for the possibilities.  It’s the concept put into physical form.

You can’t see radio waves but we know they do exist.  It’s evident in the cell phones we use every day. In fact we can have various types of information transported by using a different frequency.  We know that carbon monoxide can kill you but we can’t smell it. We know there are sounds that the human ear can’t hear but other animals can hear them. Why then is it so hard to grasp spirit? Seeing, hearing and feeling aren’t a prerequisite for believing.  Sometimes you just know something is right because it feels right.

Intuition is like that.  It just feels right.  It directs you to do what’s best for you. You can’t see it but you can hear it if you pay attention to it. It’s not about proof but about trust, it’s trusting yourself enough to listen to what’s best for you.  It’s having the faith that it’s coming from a higher power.

Tune Out the Media Hype

Tune Out the Media Hype

They promote fear.  Take your pick they pretty much go by the flavor of the month.  Today its terrorists, tomorrow it’s the budget, and the next its immigration.  That’s not to say that all news is promoting fear.  I do want to know what’s happening with the budget and what the weather will be like.  However, there comes a point when a shift is made between reporting and speculating by bringing up all the possible scenarios on how it could possibly play out in a negative way. And that is the key, could.  It doesn’t mean that it will, it just means it could happen. And then you know what happens, people start talking about it in a negative way and the facts start to get fuzzy.  What is the truth and what is speculating?  As the character in the show Dragnet would say, “Just the facts.”

To get the Law of Attraction to work, you don’t want to give attention to the negative, only the positive but that’s not what is stressed in the media. Instead of focusing on all the money that will be made, the jobs that will be created and the prosperity that will follow, the focus in on debt, bad economy and high unemployment .  Then what do we get, more debt, more lack in economic growth and increased unemployment.

Great leaders know what to do and say to bring everyone’s attention to what we want, the positive not the negative. Great leaders keep the vision at the forefront of our consciousness and not necessarily on the details.

Where attention goes energy flows.  Think prosperity, visualize success, feel the rush.