The Ultimate Goal

The Ultimate Goal

Is it a new house, fast car, great career, a healthy life, the love of family and friends, the respect of colleagues and the inner knowingness that you made a difference?

What if I told you it’s all of those things yet none of them?

You see the ultimate goal isn’t a person, place or thing. It’s a way of Being.

It’s such a simple word yet people will go to great lengths believing the ultimate goal is a person, place or thing only to find out that once the goal is achieved an emptiness take over and they’re off again looking for that three letter word.

It can be found anywhere if you take on a perspective of gratitude. When you are grateful for the growth you experienced with a set back as well as the happy positive experiences you’ve had you will have found the three letter word.  And what is this three letter word that everyone is seeking and yet keeps slipping away?

JOY – yep joy.

What you should be asking yourself when you go after that person, place or thing is “Will this bring me joy?”

You must ask yourself, “If I lose this person, place or thing will I still be joyful? Will I be joyful that I had this experience even if it doesn’t work out or doesn’t last?” Be in the moment with that person, place or thing. Grateful for the experience it has brought. And if and when it ends, be grateful for the experience because it let you live your life fully.

Choose to be joyful no matter what the outcome. 

Living Out Side the Box

Living Out Side the Box

I’ve never really like the term “outside the box”.  I didn’t know I was in a box but I guess that’s the point. You don’t’ know you are until you start thinking differently, viewing the same criteria but from another angle.

Now there are ways to get you to think outside the box - by accessing your right brain.  You can do something physical like run, play a sport, meditate or just take a walk.  Some people can access it by reading, painting, writing, listening to music or having an enlightened conversation.  Figure out what works for you. 

You know you’re accessing your right brain when out of the blue the solution to a problem you’ve been working on suddenly pops into your head and Ka...BAM there’s the answer. This has happened to me many times. I’ll be sitting at my desk working on a solution to a problem and not getting anywhere with it yet I can feel the answer is just eluding me.  I decide to take a break. I get up from my chair and take a few steps and ka...BAM the answer suddenly pops into my head. Four seconds ago I was stuck and now I have the answer.  Amazing!

But how do you go about living outside the box? The box represents your comfort level.  In order to live outside it, to excel and become what you know you can be, you need to have the courage, strength and perseverance to continue to grow.  And you know you’re growing and expanding your world when the thought of doing something makes you a bit scared yet excited at the same time. It’s what takes you to the next level. 

People don’t just fall into their greatness.

People don’t become fulfilled by playing it safe.

People succeed by their growth spurts, each one elevating them higher and higher to greater outcomes until one day they stop and realize it was all the little things that made them who they are.

I know living outside my own box is not always an easy thing to do. For me it’s much easier to fall back into the comfortable business aspect of my business instead of expanding my spiritual aspect.  It’s a conflict of interest.  My spirit says to speak my truth while my natural talents want me to fall back into the to-do list of running a business.

Guess who wants to win?

My spirit continues to push me to live outside my box.  I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit scary and uncomfortable but I’m getting so much more out of life. How about you?

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – ENOUGH already!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – ENOUGH already!

Excuses keep you small. They keep you from having a fulfilling life, reaching your goals and ultimately achieving the happiness you so desperately deserve and crave.

Every excuse keeps you from becoming all you can be. It’s fear rearing its ugly head and stopping you in your tracks. It casts self-doubt in your abilities and knowledge. It really serves no purpose but to keep you staying small and comfortable in your current position.

Why! It’s easier to find an excuse than do what’s necessary to achieve your dreams. The problem is by not facing your excuse, thus fear, it can have a snowball effect.

If you don’t do your taxes on time because you know you might owe money you’ll end up owing even more money because you didn’t pay your taxes on time.

There is also a physical and emotional by product of making excuses. Deep down you know you should take action but the very prolonged in-action can cause anxiety, restlessness, depression and unexplained outbursts because you’re holding the disappointment of yourself inside. Fear exhibits itself in procrastination and indecision.

The best course of action is to confront the excuse and take action on it. Be it a job, weight, project or a relationship problem confront it by making a decision and taking action on it.

Another way to think about it is how would you feel if everything you’ve been meaning to do and be came true? How would that make you feel? How would you show up in the world?

Would you feel relaxed, free, like the weight of the world had been lifted off your shoulders? When you blame others as your excuse it gives them power over you. You’ve just given them the power to dictate your outcome whether you’re aware of it or not. You’re essentially saying that this agency, group of people, history and society is the cause of you not achieving your goals.  It keeps you from taking responsibility for your life and keeps you small.

You can remain small in your excuses or you can take control by taking responsibility for your own outcome. Only then will you truly be free. 

Love Equals Caring as much as Caring Equals Love

Love Equals Caring as much as Caring Equals Love

Let’s make a distinction about love. There’s the romantic love that is felt between two people, the love of your children, family and friends. But caring encompasses a broader sense of love in that it’s the love of all that is. It’s the love of life and everything we experience in it.

We show kindness and caring to one another through the simple act of opening a door for someone, asking how someone is doing and actually listening to their response, even cleaning up after yourself so that others won’t have to deal with your mess.  These are but a few of the everyday acts of caring that we demonstrate to one another. The capacity to care and be cared for is a human strength. It’s what connects us to one another.

When you don’t demonstrate care to others consistently, life loses its color and connection. You may end up feeling less engaged with those around you. If you’re not making a point to be caring of others in your life, the people around you don’t feel cared for, love, appreciated, respected or engaged by you at the heart level. When this happens they may contact you less frequently, trust you less, buy from you less, and leave you more. It’s an easy formula to figure out: care more, connect more.

Our drive for caring, in a broad sense, makes us feel that we are safe, worthy, and loved, through our own actions and the actions of others, we are cared for.  Caring is something you do and receive.

Of all the human drives, caring seems to get the least attention. Instead, caring’s sexier sister, Love, gets all the attention, despite the fact that it’s probably impossible to feel or demonstrate love without caring.  Plus you likely wouldn’t be kind if you didn’t care. Kindness, caring, love - as you can see they’re all connected.  

We’re all hardwired to demonstrate care for others. Our brains are remarkably well equipped biologically to relate to and care for others’ emotions and experiences. What that means is our brains are built to mimic that which we see and feel in others. It’s why when you walk into a room you pick up the energy of the room and your brain starts to mimic it whether it’s a sad or happy occasion. The more we experience that state and behavior the more we start to mimic it. So if we constantly see others behaving a certain way our brains will likely tell us to mimic that behavior. It’s a key reason why kids smoke when others smoke, why infants smile when their moms smile, and why so many of us yawn or feel impatient when someone else does. We feel what we see.

Caring is more than just a nice action. It’s the basis for our human existence and experience and the foundation that makes love possible. 

The Top 5 Ways to Know You are being True to Your Self

The Top 5 Ways to Know You are being True to Your Self

Do you sometimes feel irritable, angry, off, frustrated, agitated or out-of-sorts and have no explanation for it? Perhaps it’s because you’ve lost sight of what makes you come alive and are living someone else’s expectations of you instead of following your own voice.

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” ~ Janis Joplin

To live in consistent alignment with whom you are, how you want to be perceived and what you want to become takes courage and self respect to stand grounded in your own space.

So how do you know if you’re being true to yourself? What does it look like? What does it feel like?

Here are the top 5 from my perspective.

1.   You stand and walk more confidently.

2.   Your are filled with positive energy

3.   You seem to have a skip in your step and a song in your heart

4.   Your thoughts and words are in sync with who you are. No disconnect

5.   You feel good about yourself as if you are finally whole and complete

If you are not in being true to yourself here are some suggestions on how to get there.

-Think more of yourself and demand that your actions be congruent with the best of who you know you can be.

and

-Act each day in congruence with your self-defined image so that you feel authentic, proud, complete, fulfilled and trustworthy to show up in every situation as the unique, gifted true you.

Remember your self-image is and always has been chosen by no one other than you.

Create the vision for which you can be and actually be that vision.

The power plant doesn’t have energy, it generate energy. Choose the color of your own sky.

Shining Light on the Lies and Deceit

Shining Light on the Lies and Deceit

Sai Baba was an Avatar in India and was worth over a billion US dollars when he left his body on Easter Sunday, April 24^th 2011. He almost never gave interviews, so this is very special.

This extract is from a conversation between a report and the Social and Spiritual Reformer of India, Sathya Sai Baba.

I usually write my own material but I thought this was worth passing along. It’s rather long but you need to read it in its entirety in order to get the full picture of what he’s saying. It’s a different way of thinking and one I think we as a human race are embarking on. The things that he says have also been verified by other sources to be true. We as a human race need to listen to it.

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Sai Baba: The truth is that the planet has been changing its vibratory state, and this change has intensified since the year 1989 where the magnetic poles have moved the last 20 years more than the past 2000. Well, in one way there are several prophecies that signal this date like a term or important conclusion in the history of humanity, but the most significant is the end of the Mayan calendar, which prophecy has been interpreted in different ways. The most negative ones think that during this year the world will end, but it will not be like that, it is known that during that year a new era will start, the Age of Aquarius.

This has to do with the rotation of the whole solar system (solar cycle) that goes passing through the different eras each one of them lasts 5125 years. The era in which we now are, called the Age of Pisces, started on the year 3113 B.C. and ends on 2012. If there is a change on the earth's magnetism, there is a change on the consciousness and also an adaptation at the physical level for this new vibration. The changes are not only on our planet, but also affect the whole universe, and today's science can verify that.

Inform yourself about the changes on the solar storms (that are magnetic storms) and you will see that scientists are up to date with these things, or ask about the movement of the magnetic poles during the last years, and airports having to modify their instruments.

This change on the magnetism translates or it's perceived as an increment of light, or an increase on the planet's vibration. For you to understand it easily you must know that this vibration is affected and intensified due to the consciousness of all human beings. Each thought, each emotion, each new awakening of a human being towards the consciousness of God elevates the vibration of the planet. This might seem a paradox, due to the fact that the majority sees around themselves more hatred and misery, but this is not so.

There are many, even if I would like them to be more, that are trying to get out of darkness to grow and become a better Son of God. I have been saying this on previous messages, each one chooses where to focus the view, and those who only see the darkness are focused on the drama, the pain and the injustice. If you don't see the spiritual advancement that humanity has made it is because you haven't focused on it, but if you do the right work and liberate your mind of the negative you will open a space where you will be able to manifest your divine essence that will put on the focus of what is really happening with humanity and the planet.

Q: "Humanity is elevating its consciousness as never before."But how…Can’t you see the darkness?"

Yes, I see it, but I don't identify myself with it, I'm not afraid of it...How can I fear darkness if I see such clear light? Of course I understand those who fear, because I have also been standing where I could only see the evil. This is why now I feel love for all of that. Darkness it's not a force contrary to the light, it is absence of light. You cannot invade the light with darkness, that is not how the principle of light works. Fear, drama, injustice, hate and sadness only exist in states of darkness, because you can't see the global context in which your life develops, and the only way to see from the light when you are there is through faith. Once you have increased your vibration and frequency (state of consciousness) you will be able to see towards darkness and understand what you have lived.

Q: "But...How can you say this if there is more evil in the world every day?"

There is not more evil...there is "more light", and that is what I'm talking about on this message. Imagine that you have a room or warehouse where for years you have been storing your things and is lit by a 40 w. bulb. Change the bulb to a 100 w. and you will see what happens. You will see the mess and the dust you didn't think existed. The dirt will be clearer. This is what is happening, and this makes possible that a lot of people are reading this without thinking of it as foolish, like it could have been some years ago.

Have you noticed that today lies and deceit come to the surface faster than before? Well, to access God's understanding and life's functioning is also faster than before. This new vibration of the planet is what is making everyone nervous, depressed or sick, because to be able to receive more light and to rise to that vibrational level, people have to change physically as well as mentally, they have to change the way they think and feel, and delete or eradicate from their lives such beliefs or parameters that generally differ from reality or that take them towards the negative side of things.

You must put your warehouses in order, because each day you are receiving more light on your consciousness and even if you want to avoid it, you should start putting your hands on the project and start the cleaning or decide to live in the middle of the dirt.

This change creates physical discomforts, pains on the body, on the skeleton system and most of the time; the medical tests can't find the reason or illness that provokes it. Generally they relate it with stress or nervous states; nothing farther from the truth, because these discomforts are provoked due to negative emotions accumulated during our lives, fears and anxieties that you have carried with you always and that now have the opportunity to transcend and transmute. It's about that dust accumulated for years that you are now seeing, for it to be cleaned.

There will be nights when you will wake up and stay up for a few hours...don't alter yourself, read a book, watch TV, meditate, don't fight thinking there is something wrong with you, it's the new vibration of the planet that you're assimilating, you will go back to sleep and the next day you will not feel a need to sleep more.

If you don't flow with this process properly, the pains will be more intense and you will be diagnosed fibromyalgia, which is a name that medicine has given to these pains that have no visible cause and for which they offer no treatment with concrete results, they only give you a prescription for antidepressants and this makes you escape the opportunity to change your life.

One more time you chose which reality you want to live, only this time the drama will be more intense and of course will be the love. If the Light is increased, also is the lack of need for it, this explains why there is so much irrational violence during the last years.

We are living the best time that humanity has ever lived, we will be witnesses and actors of the biggest transformation of consciousness that you have ever imagined.

Inform yourself; wake up your unrest for these subjects. Science knows that something is happening; you know that something is happening; we all know that many changes are happening in many levels. Be a conscious actor of these changes and don't let them take you by surprise because you don't know what is happening.

Confessions are Good for the Soul.

Confessions are Good for the Soul.

You confess all the time to your friends, siblings, parents, coworkers and even strangers.  Any time you do something you feel guilty about or to right a wrong your conscious says “I must tell someone”. It could be that you took some supplies from your work or that you said something bad about someone. For some reason you feel compelled to tell a trusted friend. Why? It makes you feel better about yourself when you can clear your conscious.

You don’t need to go to a Pastor, Priest or Rabbi to confess so you can feel better, you can do it yourself. It’s not about receiving forgiveness from someone else but about forgiving yourself. For some, confessing to a spiritual leader is part of their religious practice. What the spiritual leader does is give you a formal format and suggestions to help you allow you to forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is about allowing you to love yourself again. It’s about erasing any labels you may have put upon yourself and being nonjudgmental about your thoughts and actions. 

Sin isn’t a very good word. It has such a negative emotion attached to it as if it’s eternal. It promotes fear and primarily stops you from loving yourself. And for some it controls them. That’s not a very good way to live.

I always wondered way criminals would eventually have to tell someone what they did or give themselves up. When you look at confessing from this mind set it makes sense. They need to confess to clear their conscious so that they can feel better about themselves so they can love again. It’s a pretty messed up way to love but spiritually they need to do it.   

What are your thoughts on this?

Baby Love

Baby Love is Disguised as Self-Love

Babies are so easy to love even if they do keep you up at night and dirty their diapers several times a day.  Their miniature hands, feet, tummy and face are just too adorable to resist. They’re a mini you.

You find yourself thrilled with each new stage of development and going through great lengths just to get a little smile.  Who would have thought such a little bundle of sleepless nights could have so much power over you and yet bring you so much joy.

As she physically develops you start noticing which parent the features came from.  Even though you realize she’s going to end up with her daddy’s big nose you love her just the same.

You see the parts that came from you, the nicely shaped eyebrow, the long legs and even those ugly stubby toes of yours but you love her just the same.

And as the child grows you start to notice some aspects, talents, and personality traits of both parents.  Some you like and some you don’t but you love her just the same.

Isn’t it amazing haw you can love all those attributes, both physically and personality wise in your child but you have a hard time loving those same things in yourself?

Your child is a reflection of you and the other parent. Therefore, when you love your child even with all their ups and downs, in essence you love yourself.

Did you ever think of it that way before?

Mirror on the Wall

Mirror Mirror on the Wall who’s the …

What is it that you see?

Do you like what you see?

If you’re unsure on how to answer these questions a good exercise is to take a look at the people you do and don’t like.

First, think of someone you don’t care for. What is it about that person that you don’t like?  Pinpoint exactly what it is. For me there use to be a person in my life that would always keep tabs on what I was doing at work or reporting it to others, which by the way was none of her business. I did the same thing to her but I brushed if off because I was her boss.  But then I came to realize that the more she kept tabs on me the more I kept tabs on her even if it wasn’t work related. 

Here I was criticizing her when I was doing the same thing.  That was my own reflection in the mirror coming back to me which I didn’t like in myself.

Second, now think of an attribute you like in someone else.  I have a friend who is always giving me encouraging words and who is basically my cheerleader for my business. I also realized she did this for lots of other people and I really admire and am thankful for her support.

Then one day we were having a conversation and she complimented me on how I’m always encouraging and supporting others to be true to them and what a service I’m providing to them.  

Now isn’t that interesting? The same thing I liked about her is what she liked about me.

You could say you reap what you sow here but you can also say what you see in the world is actually a reflection of how you show up in the world. You notice these traits because they are in some form a part of what you do.  Sometimes it’s a nice reflection and sometimes it’s not so pretty.  If they didn’t have an effect on you then you have no emotion attached to it.

When you find yourself liking what someone else does or complimenting them then take notice, you likely have a similar attribute but it may not show up exactly like theirs.

Now the hard part, when you find yourself saying or thinking negative comments about someone else take a good honest look at yourself. Is it possible that you do the same thing in some way or another? That’s what I do and I find myself having less negative thoughts about others.

What does it do for me? It makes me more calm and accepting of other people’s behaviors. I realize they’re just being themselves.

What are your thoughts on this?

Your True Colors

Show Your True Colors

What are your true colors? Most people are only vibrating at a pastel hue when they could be a vibrant orange, red or blue.

Come alive. It takes not only knowing but acting on what makes you come alive that makes your true colors shine. Unfortunately what holds people up is the belief that what they want to do or be won’t be liked, accepted, respected or acknowledged. That is a shame because then it’s fear that is holding you back from being who you are and thereby letting your true colors come shining through.

The song True Colors sums it up quite nicely.

“You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow”

So what colors will your rainbow be?

Turning the Table

Turning the Table

Turn the table is a term used most frequently used in the restaurant industry as the act of moving from one set of customers to another on the same table.  They need to turn the table as in how many times they can service the table with new customers.

You also can turn the table in your own life. Sometimes you have to just to turn the table and move on even if you haven’t come to a conclusion or closure in your relationship or career.  It can be a difficult decision to make because so often you want some type of closure and there just isn’t one coming.

It’s the times when you stay in a relationship hoping that things will change for the better or the career path you’re on just isn’t panning out.  Most often when people look back at those times they wished they would have made the decision to move on a lot sooner.  Fear of the unknown is what keeps a person hanging on.

There are so many ways to say it, move on, get over it, get out while you still can and turning table is just another way. When the taste for the endeavor already leaves a sour taste in your mouth you should have already turned the table otherwise you just end up building up resentment. And who do you have to blame for that, yourself for not moving on sooner?

Are you in a situation like that now?  Trust your gut feelings and do what’s best for you.  It’s the only way you’ll feel good about yourself. 

How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is it to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it. It’s also said that 90% of conflicts are due to your tone of voice while only 10% is for the conflict itself.

How you show up can make all the difference in the world on the outcome you receive. 

Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim

Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

Look at me. I’m a victim.

Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.

Take care of me. I’m a victim.

Society owes me. I’m a victim.

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?

They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.

This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.

You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.

What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.