Come alive. Live your truth. Look GREAT! You have an energy about you. Is it dynamic, subtle, striking or animated? Want to know? When you learn to dress your truth by choosing the right fabric, cut and color plus hair, jewerly and make up for you it all comes together and works right for you.
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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is it to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it. It’s also said that 90% of conflicts are due to your tone of voice while only 10% is for the conflict itself.

How you show up can make all the difference in the world on the outcome you receive. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim
Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

Look at me. I’m a victim.
Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.
Take care of me. I’m a victim.
Society owes me. I’m a victim.

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?
They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.
This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.
You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.
What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.  

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Save the Earth

I’ve always wondered why some very healthy people, by all accounts, will fall ill and never recover while some old crusty guy chain smokes and drinks himself into old age without much effect on him.

It doesn’t seem fair, does it?
I think I found the answer.


The crusty old guy doesn’t buy into the effects of his bad habits. He doesn’t give them his attention. Instead he believes everything will be okay and that he’ll be just fine, thank you very much. On the other hand, the healthy person “believes” that cancer can kill and some foods are bad for you. Then when something happens to them they believe it will have the effect they believe it will have by what’s been promoted.

Skeptical, it’s the law of attraction at work? You attract what you think about. It comes down to what you believe. When you’re positive it shows up in all that you do from the way you walk, talk and present yourself. It has to. It’s a reflection of your inner mindset.

Need proof?
Check out the Messages in Water videos by Dr. Emoto.  It highlights the effect positive words and intentions have on water at a cellular level versus negative ones. By simply voicing good thoughts, blessing and praying, the chemistry of the water changes. Freaky! If that can happen to water what effect does that have on the rest of the planet? What percentage of plants, animals and humans are made up of water? I don’t know the exact amount but I know it’s a lot and none of us could survive without it.

Imagine simply by praying, blessing or having good intentions about your food will change the cellular structure so much so that what was once seen as unhealthy will only have a good effect on you.

Someone who was concerned about the effect of fracking on water asked the Light collective, channeled by Kathryn Harwig, if it contaminated the water making it unsafe to drink.  Their response was that all water is good. If you believe it is bad for you it will be, but it is all good.

Lesson – if you want to save the earth perhaps having gratitude for what it provides would be a better option. 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

You Can See Clearly Now

For thousands of years, we have been taught not to judge - but let's face it, we still do it all the time. The truth is that we all have judgments running in our heads.

If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn't on you. You can just let loose and be uncensored. We're often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about others, but not about ourselves.

When you do The Work, you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking. You’re the storyteller, the projector of all stories, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts.

Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn't ever worked because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector - mind - rather than the projected. It's like when there's a piece of lint on a projector's lens. We think there's a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whoever the flaw appears to be on next. But it's futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.

Find out more about The Work by Byron Katie in; "Loving What Is".

Friday, September 8, 2017

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Love that sentence. Imagine a world where you always knew what the truth is.  You’d know the true intention behind the guy who just asked you out, the politics at work and which of your politicians is telling the truth or selling you a lie. Okay, now I’m just dreaming.

How free would that make you?  You would then be able to make wise choices in your life instead of learning the hard way. Of course, sometimes you have to learn what you don’t want to find out what you do want but that’s another subject.

If you went into something with the truth fully exposed then you’d have no one else to blame or celebrate for the outcome but you.  That is freedom
Freedom is about having choices and being able to act on them, to take the good with the bad for those choices.  There is no bail out.  It’s taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made, some good and some not so good.
Truth and freedom go hand in hand.  The truth frees you.  It’s like a release button.  You get to release on all the tension, frustration and anxiety that builds up inside when you tell the truth.  That’s why confessions are good, and why convicts have to tell someone about what they did.  It could be to boost their ego but then again it could be to set their conscious free.

Hmm. Did you ever think of it that way?

Thursday, September 7, 2017

People Skills Add Flavor to Your Life

Many people do not listen with a clear intent to understand, they usually are concentrating on responding even before the other person has completed his or her thought. As a relationship expert, I would like to share some ideas on this subject so that whether you are looking to grow your business or need to enhance your personal people skills, you can learn to develop a different approach towards building interpersonal relationships.

PRACTICE makes perfect in life! Take advantage of every chance you get to practice your interpersonal skills so that when you have a special opportunity to get your point across or to be noticed, you are equipped with the right approach, style or clarity to affect others in a healthy and beneficial manner. Relationships are part of every aspect of our lives. Become your own relationship expert today so you can improve your people skills and add flavor to your life.

Joan Marie Whelan

Sometimes other people can say things better than I can. Joan Marie is one of them. Many years ago she gave me some very insightful advice. I've always remembered that.