Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim

Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

Look at me. I’m a victim.

Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.

Take care of me. I’m a victim.

Society owes me. I’m a victim.

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?

They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.

This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.

You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.

What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.  

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.

It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

You lost me at ^*% #%^$

Do you know when you’re winning an argument? When the other person is starting to lose it? It’s when the other person starts to raise their voice followed by yelling with possibly some swear words thrown in for good affect. If it escalates even further you have some type of violence towards person or property. It’s not a pretty sight. Basically, what has happened is the person who starts to raise their voice has let their emotions take over instead of allowing reason and logic to win their case.

Think about this for moment. Isn’t that exactly what happens in a bar fight, disagreement at work or social function? Why is it so hard to accept that another person’ viewpoint may differ from yours? It doesn’t make it wrong, just different. We all have our own worldview and everything is run through these filters first.

You will not be able to understand where someone is coming from unless you find out what made the person reach their conclusion. And how do you do that? You ask lot of questions and then listen for the response. Try to understand their answer from their point of view.

However, when you’re having a conversation and one or both person(s) becomes emotionally unhinged, the possibility of having meaningful dialogue has just been killed and the hope of reason returning will only occur when cooler heads prevail.

I bring this up in regards to the continuing protests. There’s nothing wrong with protesting but once it turns to violence the message has been lost. The focus then is on the violent action and not the protester’s message. Is that what the protesters really want?

Tune Out the Media Hype

Tune Out the Media Hype

They promote fear.  Take your pick they pretty much go by the flavor of the month.  Today its terrorists, tomorrow it’s the budget, and the next its immigration.  That’s not to say that all news is promoting fear.  I do want to know what’s happening with the budget and what the weather will be like.  However, there comes a point when a shift is made between reporting and speculating by bringing up all the possible scenarios on how it could possibly play out in a negative way. And that is the key, could.  It doesn’t mean that it will, it just means it could happen. And then you know what happens, people start talking about it in a negative way and the facts start to get fuzzy.  What is the truth and what is speculating?  As the character in the show Dragnet would say, “Just the facts.”

To get the Law of Attraction to work, you don’t want to give attention to the negative, only the positive but that’s not what is stressed in the media. Instead of focusing on all the money that will be made, the jobs that will be created and the prosperity that will follow, the focus in on debt, bad economy and high unemployment .  Then what do we get, more debt, more lack in economic growth and increased unemployment.

Great leaders know what to do and say to bring everyone’s attention to what we want, the positive not the negative. Great leaders keep the vision at the forefront of our consciousness and not necessarily on the details.

Where attention goes energy flows.  Think prosperity, visualize success, feel the rush.