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Monday, July 22, 2013

Pity Love

Pity love isn’t love at all. It’s when someone stays in a relationship because they feel sorry for the person. They want to help the person but it never lasts.

What usually happens is eventually the helper leaves by choice, circumstances or force. The helper is the primary rock in the relationship whether it be financially, emotionally or both. The other person is the taker who basically gets the helper to take care of him by using excuses for his behavior or inability to earn a living. The taker is sometimes so skilled at it he makes the helper feel guilty for not understanding his plight and helping him out. It’s manipulation.

The helper is essentially a very compassionate person who sees the essence of what the taker can become and sticks with him to help him fulfill his potential.

The problem is this type of relationship isn’t love at all. It can’t be. There is no mutual respect, understanding and caring for each other. Each one needs to give 100% for a relationship to work.  It’s just a matter of time before the helper comes to the conclusion that nothing will change. You see, nothing will change unless the taker wants it to.  And why should he, he already has someone to take care of him. 

Sometimes the best way to show you love someone is to move on with your life so the other person can move on with theirs. He may have to hit rock bottom before he wakes up and realizes he’s in control of his own destiny.

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