How do you find a good support system?
Well, you have to go out and create the kind of support system you want.
Remember that people will be flattered by your interest in whatever you ask
them. You will make them feel good just by asking or simply calling them. Pick
someone you perceive as being a few steps ahead of you in personal growth. A
good place to find such people is at self-improvement classes, workshops, or
seminars.
What do I do when my mate is the one who is dragging me down? The thing to remember here is that the mate may look at this change as a personal rejection of him or her or that you will outgrow or find them unattractive as a mate. Communicating that you are still committed to the relationship and him/her and that you are seeking to become all that you can be is the key. The mate will have to make a decision as to whether they support you in that or not.
What we resist persists. Do you want to improve your life or not? Although the thought that your relationship could break down may be very frightening, in actuality I know of no one who has chosen the path of growth over his or her relationship who has regretted that choice.
Believe that your mate wants what is best for you and that he or she will ultimately love the positive changes in you.
Know that in all likelihood, as you start to take risks and grow, you are going to get resistance from people in your life. It's a given. It is their way of defending their security. What is important is that you know what is happening. It will also help if you acknowledge others when they are supporting you. Also, it will greatly help your understanding to know that one of the reasons we react so hostile when others don't support us is our need for approval. Whenever we get upset at the comments of loved ones, it is a clue that we are still acting like a child. Guilt is another clue. Guilt and hostility often mask our anger at ourselves and others for our not being able to break unhealthy ties with loved one. For example being able to say; "I love you but I have to live my own life". The less you need some one's approval, the more you are able to love them.
What do I do when my mate is the one who is dragging me down? The thing to remember here is that the mate may look at this change as a personal rejection of him or her or that you will outgrow or find them unattractive as a mate. Communicating that you are still committed to the relationship and him/her and that you are seeking to become all that you can be is the key. The mate will have to make a decision as to whether they support you in that or not.
What we resist persists. Do you want to improve your life or not? Although the thought that your relationship could break down may be very frightening, in actuality I know of no one who has chosen the path of growth over his or her relationship who has regretted that choice.
Believe that your mate wants what is best for you and that he or she will ultimately love the positive changes in you.
Know that in all likelihood, as you start to take risks and grow, you are going to get resistance from people in your life. It's a given. It is their way of defending their security. What is important is that you know what is happening. It will also help if you acknowledge others when they are supporting you. Also, it will greatly help your understanding to know that one of the reasons we react so hostile when others don't support us is our need for approval. Whenever we get upset at the comments of loved ones, it is a clue that we are still acting like a child. Guilt is another clue. Guilt and hostility often mask our anger at ourselves and others for our not being able to break unhealthy ties with loved one. For example being able to say; "I love you but I have to live my own life". The less you need some one's approval, the more you are able to love them.
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