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Friday, August 6, 2010

Calling Yourself a Victim is the Easy Way Out.

It’s easy to be the victim - so easy. All you have to do is blame someone or something else for you not being or getting what you want. Basically it’s a cop out. You probably think you didn’t have choice but you did. Every choice you have made has led you to where you are today. If you don’t like where you are, make better choices.
I’m not referring to victim of crime here. I’m referring to when you blame your spouse, kids, boss, employer, friends, relative etc for your failure. Of course you probably wouldn’t refer to yourself as a victim but in essence that is what you’re calling yourself. When you blame other people or circumstances for your failures you are focusing your attention on others instead of yourself. In that way, you don’t need to take responsibility for your own choices and then can feel better about yourself. It sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

Taking responsibility for your choices is not always easy to do. In fact, anything worth having doing and being is accomplished by making the right choices and sticking to it. The rewards are great when you do it.

Take the kid who is pressured into taking or selling drugs in a neighborhood riddled with gangs. It would take courage and perseverance not to conform to that lifestyle. In order not to conform, the child would have to make a choice that no matter how much he is pressure and ostracized he would stick to his higher principles and not be swayed by the temporary lure of immediate gratification. More specifically, the more clarity around what you want to be the better choices you can make to get there. It is when you are unclear about what you want that you tend to allow others to influence the decisions for your life that are better served when you make your own choices.

Try it and let me know how it works out for you.

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