Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

 

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim

Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

 

Look at me. I’m a victim.

Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.

Take care of me. I’m a victim.

Society owes me. I’m a victim.

 

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?

They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.

This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.

You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.

What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.  

Let’s Dance

 

In relationships if a person gives 50% of themselves and then the other person gives 50%, what are you getting, Fifty percent? People think that if they give 50% and then the other person gives 50% they'll end up with 100%, but it doesn't work that way. You get what you give. What if you gave 100% of yourself and the other person gave 100%? Imagine the possibilities of a relationship working at 100%. Look at how much more you're getting. One hundred percent commitment to making it whatever you want to make it. Are you giving all of yourself or are you holding back. If you are holding back, what makes you hold back? Fear of being hurt, betrayed, used, or a lack of trust. What is it about the other person or relationship you can't count on?

A relationship is a dance. One leads and one follows and then the roles switch. The leader needs to look out for the other person, to direct them in such a way so no one is stepping on the other person's toes. On the other hand, the follower needs to trust that the leader is going to look out for them both, notice I said both, and guide them through the blind spots. When they are in sync even the slightest movement by the leader and the follower is right there. It is a dance. Are you in sync and if not, what can you do to make it so?

Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow

 

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit." - Emmanuel Teney

When you’re in your zone everything just flows effortlessly. What does it mean to be in the zone? It means that your talents, strengths and passion are perfectly aligned. You are in a situation or event that is utilizing every aspect of what you do best. You may look back at the event and say to yourself that it went by so fast but that it was actually quite easy. Why, because it was easy for you? You were in your zone. Every aspect that was needed from mental, physical and emotional challenges was met. It was a breeze. That is being in the zone. That is letting go and letting your true nature take over. By having faith and going with the flow of who you are in that moment great things can happen.

So let it flow. Have faith, let go and let the good times roll.

It is What it is

 

No emotion, just an event which is neutral. You bring the meaning to it. What that means is that the event doesn't care if you are happy, sad, angry, upset, content, or dissatisfied. It is what it is, an event. Whatever else that is brought to it, like the meaning and emotion, is what you brought to it. Take for example three people getting cut off in traffic by the same driver. Driver one is furious that such an idiot was given a license and lets him know it by shouting back and giving a few hand gestures. Driver two experiences the same thing and is upset because it almost caused an accident. He says to himself that that driver was rude and a danger to others. Driver three says to herself, "He must be in hurry to get somewhere." and shrugs it off that that is how some people are. They don't care about anyone else but themselves, same event but different reactions.

What makes one person upset while another person just shrugs it off. Mmm. It is what you make of it. The event only becomes an emotional outburst if you let it become one. NO ONE causes YOU to become angry or upset but yourself. If you do get upset, it is usually something else within you that is causing it to become something more than it is. When you do find yourself in a situation that is upsetting for you, check in with yourself, and ask yourself what is really going on here. Take out what you're feeling at the moment and form an objective view. Ask yourself, "What is the event here” because everything else after that is what you brought to it.