Is it? Think about how many arguments and disagreements, whether personally, professionally or even by governments have escalated and continued on simply because one or more individuals made it more important to be right? Even after the agreement is long over sometimes and individual wants to have the last word by either out right saying or it or by implying that they were right. Take it for what it is, insecurity.
Instead of looking at the disagreement from a broader perspective and being diplomatic the person is focused on his own viewpoint and insists his way is correct. Of course, if he’s right than you must be wrong and must be smarter than you, none of which is true. It just makes him better. Instead of taking his emotions out of it and doing what is best for all concerned he’s made his emotions and viewpoint more important.
It takes a wise person to rise above the chaos of disagreements and tactfully convey to those involved to see the broader perspective. It can’t be achieved in a lecture, shouting, telling tone of voice but in a confident, calm rational and objective voice. Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa are examples of people who calmly state with conviction their point of view and still got results.
When you find yourself in and argumentative tone, ask yourself what you’re making more important. Ask yourself, “If I took out my emotions so that I had no involvement in the content of the discussion, would I react the same way?”
It’s something to think about. However, it’s far more likely that you won’t think to ask yourself that question in the heat of a discussion but likely later when you have time to reflect on it. That’s okay. That’s how you learn.
Have you found yourself making your viewpoint more important than the broader perspective? If so, please share your experience.