How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is it to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it. It’s also said that 90% of conflicts are due to your tone of voice while only 10% is for the conflict itself.

How you show up can make all the difference in the world on the outcome you receive. 

Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim

Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

Look at me. I’m a victim.

Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.

Take care of me. I’m a victim.

Society owes me. I’m a victim.

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?

They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.

This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.

You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.

What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.  

Not My President

We got what we asked for. Say what! “Not my President” you say. I beg to differ.

What have the masses been begging for? Let’s see; government that works for the people, transparency, jobs, better education, less taxes, roads fixed, and healthcare etcetera. You may not have said it like that but that’s the result if you want those things. Basically, you need to look at the essence of what you want not HOW it will show up. That’s the Law of Attraction ‘s job. It will give it to you.

Consciously you may be saying you don’t like the new administration but your subconscious is saying you want these things taken care of. So now we have a dilemma. Your sub-conscious wants these things fixed but your conscious mind has made up its mind on how and by what means it will show up. Guess which one wins, your sub conscious mind? Your conscious mind now must deal with the package your sub conscious mind has determined it will show up in. Yikes!

The sub conscious mind is very powerful that is why it’s important to be mindful of what you wish for. You just may get it. The Law of Attraction will give it to you but it doesn’t mean it will show up like you envisioned.

Is it the Truth?

In today’s climate of political discord, it’s hard to tell what is really the truth. Many times, only part of the truth is told while the rest is spun to deceive the recipient, us.

What ever happened to just telling the truth and letting the chips fall where they may? What makes the authorities not want to tell it like it is? What are they afraid of?

That’s an interesting emotion, fear. To understand why someone wouldn’t tell the truth indicates the person/ organization/party has something to hide. It will hurt them in some way which for me only arouses curiosity. What are they trying to hide?

I believe what the Bible says, the truth shall set you free. By telling or keeping a lie going also is a form of control, control over others or maintaining face. That to me means the group or person is unable to expose their true nature or gets a kick out of controlling others. Neither one is good.

For an individual, there’s a huge emotional release when you allow yourself to release all the lies you’ve lived with.  All those years holding the truth back and living the lie within you takes its toll physically, mentally, and emotionally. When you release this negativity, you become accepting of who you are and thereby begin to love your authentic self. I imagine that is the motivating force along with a sense of what’s right why whistleblowers come out. Their sense of what’s right and the emotional release is a breath of fresh air.

Are you holding anything back from telling it like it is?

We all must be vigilant in discovering the truth about our institutions and ourselves.  It is only when we are accepting of our truth that we can evolve.

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.

It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

You lost me at ^*% #%^$

Do you know when you’re winning an argument? When the other person is starting to lose it? It’s when the other person starts to raise their voice followed by yelling with possibly some swear words thrown in for good affect. If it escalates even further you have some type of violence towards person or property. It’s not a pretty sight. Basically, what has happened is the person who starts to raise their voice has let their emotions take over instead of allowing reason and logic to win their case.

Think about this for moment. Isn’t that exactly what happens in a bar fight, disagreement at work or social function? Why is it so hard to accept that another person’ viewpoint may differ from yours? It doesn’t make it wrong, just different. We all have our own worldview and everything is run through these filters first.

You will not be able to understand where someone is coming from unless you find out what made the person reach their conclusion. And how do you do that? You ask lot of questions and then listen for the response. Try to understand their answer from their point of view.

However, when you’re having a conversation and one or both person(s) becomes emotionally unhinged, the possibility of having meaningful dialogue has just been killed and the hope of reason returning will only occur when cooler heads prevail.

I bring this up in regards to the continuing protests. There’s nothing wrong with protesting but once it turns to violence the message has been lost. The focus then is on the violent action and not the protester’s message. Is that what the protesters really want?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Sure, you do.  We all do from time to time.  What is it? It’s taking a position on an issue that has been first filtered through your own social, economic, race, religion, gender etc. and then basing your vote on what’s in it for me (WIIFM).

Let’s face it.  It’s very difficult to base a decision entirely on an objective point of view when the decision directly or indirectly affects you.  The emotions can be too strong to make an objective decision.  You would need to take yourself out of the picture and view the issue on a higher level with no regard to the outcome.  It means being objective and doing what’s best for the whole of society not just what’s good for you.  It’s looking at the issue from a broader perspective. 

However, I’d like to note that sometimes helping a few (companies, agencies etc.) ends up helping more of the masses in the long run than vice versa.  To understand which would be the better decision you would need to be well educated and informed in that area.  All too often it’s the loudest voice that is heard which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the viewpoint to base your decision on. You need to do your research and listen to all viewpoints.  More important, you need to discern between the rhetoric, emotional positions, and the facts to find the truth. It’s taking the emotion out of it and deciding from an objective point of view no matter what affect it will personally have on you.

If you want our country and world to be a better place the love of it must be greater than what is in it for me.  What is the greater good? It comes down to what are you making more important?

Most people want what’s best for their country but the conflict arises on what it’s to look like and even more on how to go about making that vision a reality. Currently there is no clear vision that the masses have bought into.  There is a great divide and therefore the country will have a difficult time moving forward until a vision is laid out that the masses can really rally behind.  Only then will the Law of Attraction take hold. 

It’s More Important to be Right

Is it?  Thank about how many arguments and disagreements, whether personally, professionally or even by governments have escalated and continued on simply because one or more individuals made it more important to be right? Even after the agreement is long over sometimes and individual wants to have the last word by either out right saying or it or by implying that they were right.  Take it for what it is, insecurity.

Instead of looking at the disagreement from a broader perspective and being diplomatic the person is focused on his own viewpoint and insists his way is correct. Of course, if he’s right than you must be wrong and must be smarter than you, none of which is true.  It just makes him better. Instead of taking his emotions out of it and doing what is best for all concerned he’s made his emotions and viewpoint more important.

It takes a wise person to rise above the chaos of disagreements and tactfully convey to those involved to see the broader perspective.  It can’t be achieved in a lecture, shouting, telling tone of voice but in a confident, calm rational and objective voice.  Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa are examples of people who calmly state with conviction their point of view and still got results.

When you find yourself in and argumentative tone, ask yourself what you’re making more important.  Ask yourself, “If I took out my emotions so that I had no involvement in the content of the discussion, would I react the same way?”

It’s something to think about.  However, it’s far more likely that you won’t think to ask yourself that question in the heat of a discussion but likely later when you have time to reflect on it.  That’s okay. That’s how you learn.

Have you found yourself making your viewpoint more important than the broader perspective? If so, please share your experience.

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

Are we Breeding Responsibility or Dependency?

People will rise up to the expectations that you set for them.  Ask any good coach, manager or parent and they will tell you the very same thing. Sometimes athletes, employees and children can’t see the potential that lies within them but someone else can.  So the coach, manager or parent inspires and sometimes pushes the individual to aim higher, to be all that they can be.  Isn’t that what we’re here for, to be the best that we can be, to become better than the generation before us, to leave this place better than how we found it?

So what happened that a growing number of people think they’re entitled to government hand outs? What happened to honor, pride and self worth in working to provide for yourself and family? Remember when children were raised to become productive members of society, to give more - expect less, to have a sense of honor and integrity in what you do, to take responsibility for your actions, to strive to live up to your full potential and become a self-supporting adult, to ask what you can do for others not what others can do for you, where conning the system or any other entity was shunned, where being self supporting was respected and a badge of honor?

Oh! There are still people like that around however it’s become more acceptable to see what you can get away with than being a responsible adult. What’s in it for me has become more important than what’s best for mankind.

Now this didn’t just happen overnight.  It’s been brewing for quite some time.  The exact time frame is up for debate.  It was likely a combination of events and a mind shift that changed the core essence of what the US was founded on.

It happened slowing, bit by bit, whittling away a parent’s confidence that they needed to bow to the pressure of the so called professionals.  Parents feared they were damaging their children if they were too strict or disciplined them too harshly.  Worse yet, the children started hearing this type of thinking and used it as emotional blackmail to keep their parent’s from parenting. Some wise parents saw it for what it was while others bowed to their children’s threats and demands.  They were afraid they would lose their child’s love but instead they lost their respect.  Alas there went the best form of education, setting the example.  Let’s not forget that it’s the parents that have the greatest influence in a child’s life.

Now we have a growing number of our society that believes they should be taken care of.  Any slight discomfort is cause to blame someone or something else for their own lack of personal responsibility.  Hey! It’s easier to blame than actually doing what needs to be done. It’s a cop out.  In the long run the person looses out on building their self-esteem and growing as a person. They miss out on feeling good about themselves.

Teaching someone to be responsible is a never ending process. It takes patience and guidance to see it through but the rewards are well worth it. It not only benefits the individual but society as a whole.

My question is, with such a growing number of people believing they are entitled to hand outs, what happens when the number of responsible contributing members of society is outweighed by the entitlement society? Who will provide for what they believe they deserve?

It’s time to raise the expectations of all members of society, to stop asking what the country can do for you but what you can do for your country. 

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Do You Vote for WIIFM?

Sure you do.  We all do from time to time.  What is it? It’s taking a position on an issue that has been first filtered through your own social, economic, race, religion, gender etc and then basing your vote on what’s in it for me (WIIFM).

Let’s face it.  It’s very difficult to base a decision entirely on an objective point of view when the decision directly or indirectly affects you.  The emotions can be too strong to make an objective decision.  You would need to take yourself out of the picture and view the issue on a higher level with no regard to the outcome.  It means being totally objective and doing what’s best for the whole of society not just what’s good for you.  It’s looking at the issue from a broader perspective. 

However, I’d like to note that sometimes helping a few (companies, agencies etc) actually ends up helping out more of the masses in the long run than vice versa.  To understand which would be the better decision you would need to be well educated and informed in that area.  All too often it’s the loudest voice that is heard which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the viewpoint to base your decision on. You need to do your research and listen to all view points.  More important, you need to discern between the rhetoric, emotional positions and the facts in order to find the truth. It’s taking the emotion out of it and making a decision from an objective point of view no matter what affect it will personally have on you.

If you want our country and world to be a better place the love of it must be greater than what is in it for you.  What is the greater good? It comes down to what are you making more important?

In the Law of One you are either serving yourself or serving others. Which is it for you? Don’t get shook up about this we all go back and forth between the two. Sometimes the people who are helping others are just helping themselves by making themselves feel better about who they are, trying to look good, getting paid to do it, anticipating kudos for it or even just getting votes for it.  Another point to consider in the Law of One is whether your actions are violating another person’s free will. That’s a tough one too. Are all parties in agreement? For example, is the government violating their citizen’s free will when those who oppose Planned Parenthood are required to pay for it through taxes? My viewpoint is yes.

Most people want what’s best for their country but the conflict arises on what it’s to look like and even more on how to go about making that vision a reality. Currently there is no clear vision that the masses have bought into.  There is a great divide and therefore the country will have a difficult time moving forward until a vision is laid out that the masses can really rally behind.  Only then will the Law of Attraction take hold.

As a side note, there is only one law. All other laws are distortions of the Law of One. 

Want a President Needs to Lead

Want a President Needs to Lead

What are you looking for in a President? First you need to decide what makes a good leader because that is what the President does, lead.  Some people are natural leaders. You see them at work, fund raisers or your family reunion.  They step up to the plate to take on a project. However you’ll notice something else too.  Some are natural leaders while others are doing it for the recognition or power.  What’s the difference?  The natural leader is the person people will follow even if they don’t have the title or have been given the responsibility.  They naturally know what to do.  They exude confidence, clarity and conviction. Oh and another thing, they make decisions that aren’t always popular but are followed because the people respect the person’s decision.

A good leader is a person who has the strength and courage to undertake large projects.  It’s the ability to weave universal principles with everyday life.  This person has the gift of power.  Yes the gift.  As much as power has a negative connotation it also has just as much a positive connotation.

The world needs the CEO, general, and the person of authority.  A leader claims and utilizes his gift of power for the overall goal of the enterprise he’s tasked with directing.  A true leader uses this personal power without dominance or intimidation.  He doesn’t necessarily make popular decisions because he’s making them with a higher purpose in mind. He leads because that’s his natural strength and people follow because they recognize and understand the clear direction they are to take to reach the desired outcome. He gets results.  For him not to lead would be like asking you or me not to breathe.  It’s what he does.

Along with the gift of being a natural leader there are also challenges to it which make the person go from being in the gift of it to being in the challenge of it.  When a person is consumed by the acquisition of wealth, order others around, is intimidating or dominating people then he is in the challenge of it and needs to get back into the gift of it.

So what does a leader look like?  Some of the most recent leaders that have exhibited both the gift and challenge of being in the gift of leadership are General George Patton, Donald Trump, Lee Iacocca and Margaret Thatcher.  If you study the history of how they became leaders and how they conducted themselves you’ll see the gift and challenge of being a great leader.   Each of them gained the experience with each new leadership role they encountered.  Each will go down in history as making a difference in their field.  And one other interesting note, they haven’t always been the most liked or popular at times but were/are respected.

You also have the gift of leadership and when you need it remember to claim it from a place of personal power and not through dominance or intimidation. 

(originally written in 2012)

The Case Against Diversity

Yep I’m against diversity. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m fascinated by different cultures, heck, that’s what I found most interesting when I was in college learning about international business. The difference in cultures plays a huge part in how products are marketed from the taste, the color of the package and how business is conducted.

When I travel abroad I much rather travel on my own versus in a group setting because then I have the opportunity to discover, feel, hear and taste the culture I’m being exposed to. I can venture into the path less taken. Looking back I’d say I go into a bit of a trance as I try to absorb all the sights and sounds around me. I leave in wonder and appreciation for the experience that has expanded my world.

As odd as it may sound but I do tend to attract people from different countries into my world. A long time friend is originally from Mexico. I was in her wedding and she was in mine.  Through my husband and work I’ve become friends with people from Brazil, Ukraine and Romania. They certainly have enriched my life.

However with all those friendships and travels I’ve expenenced one thread always remained, the more I’ve discovered that in the end we are all more alike than different. We all want the same things; a health, happiness, good friends, a better life for our children and a love and appreciation for our Creator.

You see I’m against diversity for two reasons; 1) its unnatural and 2) it pulls people apart instead of bringing them together.

For example, when you first meet, run into or are around people you’re not familiar with do you start talking about how you’re different? No! You immediately try to develop a connection through some common interest such as sports, children or the situation you’ve found yourself in with the other person. When you’re at a wedding you might ask the other person how they know the bride or groom.  When you’re watching a sporting event you might ask the person what they think of a certain team or player. The most common ice breaker is to ask the other person what they do to earn a living. The bottom line is you’re always searching for some commonality in order to make a connection with the other person. It all starts with small talk.

It’s not until you’re comfortable with the other person do you bring up the differences and that can take some time. Through the 30 plus years of conversations with my Mexican friend I’ve found out things about the culture she grew up in. The information was revealed and then I’d ask inquiring questions. Rarely have I asked an outright question about her background. To tell the truth it really isn’t an important part of our friendship, although it is quite interesting when a tidbit of unknown information is offered.

For example, several years ago I invited a new friend to attend a convention with me. Afterwards as we were having a few drinks when she complimented me on how my skin looked and wanted to know what I did to keep it that way. That’s when she told me that Apache Indians (she was Apache) were very vain. She told me that people thought they painted their faces to look mean but it was really to protect their skin. Who knew? It was new information coming right from the source. She was obviously very comfortable with me or really wanted to know how I took care of my skin.

Yes, I’m against diversity. We as humans have so many things in common than we do differences that it is tearing us apart rather than bringing us together. In my mind there will always be a curiosity, enthusiasm and appreciation for what diversity brings to the table but the accent should be on what brings us together. When you’re focusing on differences it’s hard to make peace with a religion, race, gender or nationality particularly if you don’t agree with it. When we focus on our commonalities it brings a sense of community and togetherness that unites us in a bond of love and friendship.

I think that’s the Creator’s goal, to love the person inside and not be influenced by some shallow casing.

I think Madeleine Albright said it quite well.

“As world events reflect, we remain far from mastering the art of human relations. We have invented no technology that will guide us to the destinations that matter most.

After two world wars, the Holocaust, multiple genocides and countless conflicts, we must ask how long it will be before we are able to rise above the national, racial and gender distinctions that divide us and embrace the common humanity that binds us.

The answer depends not on the starts or some mysterious forces of history; it depends on the choices that you and I and all of us make.”

Celebrate What Unites Us Not What Divides Us

Celebrate What Unites Us Not What Divides Us

“As world events reflect, we remain far from mastering the art of human relations.  We have invented no technology that will guide us to the destinations that matter most.

After two world wars, the Holocaust, multiple genocides, and countless conflicts, we must ask how long it will be before we are able to rise above the national, racial, and gender distinctions that divide us, and embrace the common humanity that binds us.

The answer depends not on the starts or some mysterious forces of history; it depends on the choices that you and I and all of us make.” ~ Madeleine Albright

 

Nothing tears people more apart than pointing out what separates them from one another rather than what binds them.  Take any natural disaster and suddenly nationality, race, gender or political affiliation doesn’t matter anymore.  People unite for the common good of solving the problem at hand.

As the saying goes, “Where attention goes energy flows”.  When you focus on what divides us, even more things that divide us will come to mind. Things that you didn’t even give much thought to now rise to the surface and become important simply because you put your attention on it.  However when you focus on what binds us you can actually feel yourself becoming more calm and relaxed. Try it.

I’ve traveled to many places around the world and for the most part everybody is the same. They want the same things out of life like raising a happy and healthy family, finding fulfillment in their work and being able to worship in their own way.  There are things that are understood in any culture like laughter and compassion. These are the things that we should be focusing on instead of our differences.

The real kicker is you and I have the power to bind us rather than divide us by the choices we make every day.  It could show up in what we do or say.

Make the call.

Paying Taxes? Good! You’re Making Money

Paying Taxes? Good! You’re Making Money

The first time I heard that phrase I was a little taken aback. Who wants to pay more taxes? If anything, people want to pay less. In fact, most people look for ways to get out of paying as much taxes as they can.  They look forward to receiving a refund and plan on how they’ll spend it.  I use to be one of them.

But then I realized the statement was true.  If you’re paying taxes you’re making money and the more taxes you’re paying the more money you’re making. They go together like milk and cookies. Therefore, if you want to be rich you have to get into the mindset of paying a lot in taxes.

To expect to be rich and get a refund does not compute. To believe that you can be rich and still receive a refund goes against the law of the universe, give and receive.  In order to get something you have to give something in equal or greater value. It’s like playing the stock market, the greater the risk the greater the reward. It’s also like the executive who gets paid a lot of money, she has the greater risk and responsibility therefore she gets the larger paycheck. If she doesn’t do her job then the whole company could go under which affects all the other employees.

Ever notice that the people who pay the least amount in taxes also are the poorest? Of course you have. If you’re poor and you’re not paying hardly anything in taxes, then it would stand to reason that you would be able to dig yourself out of that state of affairs. However, that’s not how it plays out.

According to the Universe they remain poor because they unknowingly choose it. They don’t know they have the power to change their situation. They’re looking for what they can get and not looking at what they can give. It’s the old saying, what goes around comes around. In the Bible it’s referred to “You reap what you sow”. And just for the record all the main religions of the world have some form of that same saying.

Now the Universe isn’t particular on the giving part.  The giving could be something of value or your expertise or helping others in their pursuit. What it does want is for you to be very clear on what you want, believe it will happen, start taking the steps to make it happen and when bits of it start to arrive, accept in with gratitude.

If you have the mindset that you’ll always be poor then guess what, you will be. You’ve already decided that’s how it’ll be. The people who have risen from poverty BELIEVED that they would.  If you’re always looking for a program or society to bail you out then you’re not willing to do the giving part. Some people have even adopted an entitlement mentality, as if to say, the government (you and I) have to take care of them.

They don’t realize they have the power to change their reality.  Some people even afraid to work more hours or take a promotion because it’ll mean they’ll pay more taxes.  They’re not looking at it for a broader perspective.  You may just have to do that for awhile in order to get to the next level.

As for me, I want to pay lots and lots of taxes.

Too Much Structured Play is Ruining Our Children – Let Them Play

Talk to any parent and they can recall a time when they bought their child something but the child had more fun playing with the packaging than the toy. Or, the child could have made up a story regarding a set up of Tupperware, pots and pans, sand, blocks, you name it.  If there aren’t toys or games around give it time and your child will think up something to do.  It’s their imagination running wild.  Our brains are very creative and they can’t stay still for long.

Imagination is where dreams are created and realized. It all begins in the mind. First you have to have the thought to even begin to figure out how you’re going to make something happen, which brings me to structured play.  Structured play is well and good to teach our youngsters how to interact fairly with each other, however, in this effort to effectively socialize our youngsters, their active imagination gets squelched. There gets to be so many rules and regulation to follow that the children aren‘t given ample space to develop their imagination. It sometimes becomes a control issue for the adult population as if they constantly have to entertain their children.  That is nonsense.

It’s actually in the quiet self play when a child or an adult for that matter connects with who they really are. They begin to hear what their guides are telling them. They listen to the inner voice inside that tells them what advice or direction to take. 

It can happen to you to if you listen.  However, as an adult you can get so busy doing this or that you aren’t listening until something happens and you hear yourself say something like, “I knew I should have (blank) instead of (blank).” It’s when your thoughts start to wander that you’re starting to connect to your inner self.  Listen up.  Sometimes it happens when you’re doing the most mundane things like cleaning, driving or walking.  You’re mind isn’t actively engaged and therefore it’s free to wander when you’re doing a routine task.  This happens quite a lot for some people but then there are others who really want to connect so they meditate by focusing on their breathing. 

The point is when you set your mind free from active thought your imagination can really take off. Some of the best ideas come to you when you stop concentrating on what you want to create.  Children do this naturally but as we mature we tend to forget to just play. Let’s play.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create."

~ Albert Einstein

U.S.  in Mideast Business

How did the U.S. ever get so involved in another country’s business in the first place?  I’d say it’s because we were asked.

There was a time in history when the U.S. got criticized for not paying attention or caring about what was happening in Europe.  We were accused of being in our own world, and we were.  We had no reason to get involved in the politics and territory disputes of other countries.  We were totally solvent as a country.  What was in it for us anyway?

Eventually we did get involved in other country’s business due to pressure and the growing need to establish forging relations.  So in essence, we did get something out of it, we became established as a reliable foreign partner.

It would be naïve to believe that a country helping out another is solely doing it out of an act of kindness. It could be to promote democracy, gain diplomatic favor, protect an ally, and gain a strategic foreign base location, trading in goods and services or a host of other avenues.  The point being, we do expect to get something out of it.  No matter how much on the outside it appears we’re defending another because it’s the right thing to do, we’re still getting something out of it.  Sometimes it shows up soft as diplomatic relations and other times it’s bolds as exchange for oil.

The U. S. wasn’t committed in WWII until Pearl Harbor.  Basically the Japanese picked a fight (a bolder form of asking) and we complied.  For years the Mideast has been trying to get our attention about their conflict. While the extremists try bullying tactics by bombing our embassies and ships, the powers involved on one hand criticize us for getting involved while the other criticizes us for not helping out more. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.  How do you win in that scenario?  I’m still confused as to what they were trying to accomplish.  They didn’t want us involved in their business yet they’ve kept picking fights.  We’ve been dancing around this whole Mideast conflict for years but when 911 came we were thrust smack dap into it and now it is our business. 

Even though the extremists say they want us out they continue to make it our business.  It doesn’t make sense. They figure if they hurt us enough we’ll back off. On the contrary, it just pisses us off and becomes our business.  I’d venture to say that we’ll get out of the Mideast conflict when it stops becoming our business and when we’re not getting anything out of it.

Just like in human interactions and events it’s good to ask yourself if it’s any of your business, if it’s not, stay out.  The vast majority of emotional turmoil, arguments and upsets are due to someone getting into someone else’s business.

The next time you find yourself getting upset over a person, situation or event stop and ask yourself if it’s any of your business, chances are its not.  You will find yourself a whole lot happier when you stay in your business.

As far as the US is concerned, do you believe she’s staying in her business?

You Have the Freedom to Choose

Everyone has the freedom to choose.  You make choices every day.  Should I eat the cookie or go for an apple? Should I yield to the merging car or should I speed ahead? Should I get angry when things don’t go the way I’d like or do I accept the things I have no control over? These are the kind of constant choices you make every day.

The choices you make may seem minute but they set you up for how you look, feel, and progress through life.  For example let’s say you really want to get this promotion you’ve had your sights on for some time, however, when the time comes you don’t get it.  It turns out the electing official didn’t think you were a team player because he had overheard you bashing the company and management.  In essence you created your own outcome.  You made the choice to talk about management in a negative way.  Even if what you said wasn’t meant to be heard, in the long run it’s better from the employer’s viewpoint not to have given you the promotion.

You have the freedom to choose who you hang out with to what type of vehicle you drive.  Therefore, don’t complain when gas prices go sky high when you knowingly purchased a vehicle that gets low miles per gallon.  You purchased the vehicle based on other factors. Essentially you made something else more important.  If gas prices continue to remain high, in the future, you may opt to purchase a vehicle with better gas mileage. You make a better choice for you.

The choices you make set you up for the experiences you’re going to have.  If you want better experiences you need to make better choices.  Choose wisely.

The Government Doesn’t Owe You a Thing

The Government Doesn’t Owe You a Thing

“My boss owes me. Work owes me. The government owes me. You own me.” Where does this entitlement mentality come from?

It’s looking for others to fill a void, to make the person feel good about himself.  For some reason he feels he has been wronged and wants others to give him, in his own mind, his just reward, payback, to make life fair again, to even the score. 

The problem is there is not enough money, time, possessions, education, or love to satisfy this person because he’ll NEVER be satisfied. As soon as one thing is catered to he’ll either complain that it’s not quite up to par or too late in coming. He’ll then focus on other things that he still hasn’t been compensated for.  It’s a never-ending cycle of unfilled expectations.  The entitlement mentality continues and the only way to remedy it is to go to the source. The answer, the fulfillment, lies within.

No one else can make him happy about his current situation but himself.  He created his life and he has the freedom to make the choices to change it. He can’t change the past because it’s over and done with.  He needs to accept whatever happened in the past because it has made him who he is today. Does he want to change that?  If so, then change it.  It doesn’t happen overnight but takes a conscious effort to make choices that will eventually lead to his desired outcome.

The entitlement attitude comes from not wanting to take responsibility for what has happened in his life.  It’s so much easier to blame someone or something else for his obstacles.  The focus then is not on him but on anything else.  He then gets to feel good about himself because in his mind it’s someone else’s fault.  However, the longer he continues to believe that the cause of his shortcomings are someone else’s responsibility, the longer it will take for him to make the choices that will eventually bring him the happiness and love he so desperately is seeking.  

You see, the “feel good” feeling he craves isn’t given to him by someone else but is something he gives himself.  When he can empower himself to take charge and create his life as he wishes instead of allowing himself to be a victim, the happier he will be.

Tune Out the Media Hype

Tune Out the Media Hype

They promote fear.  Take your pick they pretty much go by the flavor of the month.  Today its terrorists, tomorrow it’s the budget, and the next its immigration.  That’s not to say that all news is promoting fear.  I do want to know what’s happening with the budget and what the weather will be like.  However, there comes a point when a shift is made between reporting and speculating by bringing up all the possible scenarios on how it could possibly play out in a negative way. And that is the key, could.  It doesn’t mean that it will, it just means it could happen. And then you know what happens, people start talking about it in a negative way and the facts start to get fuzzy.  What is the truth and what is speculating?  As the character in the show Dragnet would say, “Just the facts.”

To get the Law of Attraction to work, you don’t want to give attention to the negative, only the positive but that’s not what is stressed in the media. Instead of focusing on all the money that will be made, the jobs that will be created and the prosperity that will follow, the focus in on debt, bad economy and high unemployment .  Then what do we get, more debt, more lack in economic growth and increased unemployment.

Great leaders know what to do and say to bring everyone’s attention to what we want, the positive not the negative. Great leaders keep the vision at the forefront of our consciousness and not necessarily on the details.

Where attention goes energy flows.  Think prosperity, visualize success, feel the rush.   

The Never-Ending Drama

 

What’s a never ending drama? Take your pick. There’s the Israeli-Arab-Palestine conflict, race relations and let’s not forget the Islamic discord. These conflicts have been going on for centuries and yet they’re not resolved. Why? Well, each position could give you a host of reason why, usually blaming the other guy or nation.  Notice the finger is never pointed at themselves. The funny thing is that’s the ONLY thing they have control over, their own words and actions. You can’t control or affect change with someone else unless they truly agree. In most all instances there was a wrong or perceived wrong done to a class, group, race etc and they want restitution for it.

Let’s explore the thought that what is desired really does come to fruition.  What if the Palestines get their own state and everything else they believe is owed them, what if the black community does achieve the equality and restitution for slavery they believe they are due, what if the Islamists are able to have their own sovereign government within the US to promote their own version of Sharia Law wo`uld that finally silence these groups? I seriously doubt it. In every example it would disenfranchise another group and eventually the next group would rise up and complain.  It becomes a never ending cycle of discontent. When will it ever end?

What these people don’t get is that the past is the past and it can’t be changed. You can only learn from it and make better choices going forward. There will never be enough money, land, forgiveness or whatever you’re looking for to make the negative feelings in the heart go away.  Only you can release this negative energy in order to open up to new possibilities. The answer or solution to discord isn’t by or through someone or something else but through the hearts and minds of those who hold onto being right and are hell bent on getting their way at any cost.

Unity, acceptance and forgiveness are the true paths to ending the drama. Who has the power to end this madness?  As you can see the answer lies within each of us, to accept others as they are and realize the past is the past because of the decisions made by those who came before us.