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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Let’s Dance

In relationships if a person gives 50% of themselves and then the other person gives 50%, what are you getting, Fifty percent? People think that if they give 50% and then the other person gives 50% they'll end up with 100%, but it doesn't work that way. You get what you give. What if you gave 100% of yourself and the other person gave 100%? Imagine the possibilities of a relationship working at 100%. Look at how much more you're getting. Hindered percent commitment to making it whatever you want to make it. Are you giving all of yourself or are you holding back. If you are holding back, what makes you hold back? Fear of being hurt, betrayed, used, or a lack of trust. What is it about the other person or relationship you can't count on?

A relationship is a dance. One leads and one follows and then the roles switch. The leader needs to look out for the other person, to direct them in such a way so no one is stepping on the other person's toes. On the other hand, the follower needs to trust that the leader is going to look out for them both, notice I said both, and guide them through the blind spots. When they are in sync even the slightest movement by the leader and the follower is right there. It is a dance. Are you in sync and if not, what can you do to make it so?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Where Attention Goes Energy Flows

Isn't that so true? It doesn't matter what events may be happening in your life, if you see an opportunity for something you want, boom you’re on it, and everything else becomes secondary, link that now on a global scale. Where attention goes energy flows. What is happening right now in your world, poverty, economy, jobs, and war? Where is the attention?

In physics the Law of Attraction states that positive attracts positive while negative attracts negative. Basically, we get what we give. If your attention and thus energy is focused on war then that is what you are going to get more of, however if your attention is focused on peace that that is what you'll get. Currently the media has been focusing on a recession. What happens then? People start to hold onto their money expecting the worse thereby taking more money out of the economy. What do they get more of, a recession? There is less money flow. What do you want in your life and is it positive or negative? If you want peace, be peaceful. If you want more money, work on attracting it by learning from the people who have it. The same goes for the negative aspects in your life. If you're hanging around people who are trouble, then eventually you will attract that to your life even if you consciously don't want it. It's sad to say but its guilt by association. Assumptions will be made and then comes the self-fulfilling prophecy that, "'I might was well do it anyway because that's what people expect". It's your choice; attract the positive or the negative. Think of the saying, "The poor get poorer while the rich get richer". Maybe that is what they attract.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

What Condition is Your Condition in?

Ah...unconditional love. "Only a face a mother could love". I'm sure you've heard that one. What would it feel like to have unconditional love? Most mothers and father would fall into that category. But how do you get that kind of love outside of the parent/child relationship? The following is part of an article I found from Jack Zwissig that says it better than I could.

Conditional love is not really love. When we love conditionally what we are really saying is "I will care about you ONLY if you do this, and if you don't, then I will withdraw my love". Some of our harshest conditions come from the times when people have withdrawn love from us. At those moments, we learned early because we hurt so deeply. Unfortunately, we often learn that we are unlovable. We tell ourselves, "I don't ever want to be hurt like that again. If love is conditional like that, I'll just do my best to live without it.” At those painful times, we tend to make decisions and form beliefs very quickly. Some of those beliefs can be very damaging. They create a survival game, a game of scarcity that disempowers our relationships. We tuck away those beliefs and to about our lives without realizing that those beliefs really control us. They manifest themselves when the time comes. Your heart wants to go for it but the brain is telling you you'll be rejected, hurt, or not worthy, etc.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit." - Emmanuel Teney

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Hard Times Pass Just Like the Good Ones Do

This is a lyric from one of Sugarland's songs and it fits so nicely into what your frame of mind is. Read it again. Often times a person will look at an event/situation in their life as a hard time compared to a normal time. However, you also have really good times when things are just clicking. You're at the top of your game. You’re in the zone. That time passes too.

An analogy I was told is to look at the hard times as clouds passing through. Some are big and some are small. When you realize that that is all it is, it becomes easier to handle it and therefore focus on the sunshine just up ahead. It could be a business venture that has hit a bump on its road to success or a relationship area that needs to be worked out. Take it for what it is, a cloud passing through.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It is What it is

The event stays neutral. You bring the meaning to it. What that means is that the event doesn't care if you are happy, sad, angry, upset, content, or dissatisfied. It is what it is, an event. Whatever else that is brought to it, like the meaning and emotion, is what you brought to it. Take for example three people getting cut off in traffic by the same driver. Driver one is furious that such an idiot was given a license and lets him know it by shouting back and giving a few hand gestures. Driver two experiences the same thing and is upset because it almost caused an accident. He says to himself that that driver was rude and a danger to others. Driver three says to herself, "He must be in hurry to get somewhere." and shrugs it off that that is how some people are. They don't care about anyone else but themselves, same event but different reactions.
What makes one person upset while another person just shrugs it off. Mmm. It is what you make of it. The event only becomes an emotional outburst if you let it become one. NO ONE causes YOU to become angry or upset but yourself. If you do get upset, it is usually something else within you that is causing it to become something more than it is. When you do find yourself in a situation that is upsetting for you, check in with yourself, and ask yourself what is really going on here. Take out what you're feeling at the moment and form an objective view. Ask yourself, "What is the event here” because everything else after that is what you brought to it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Make it a Great Day. The Choice is Yours

You have the power to decide what kind of day, week, or hour it is going to be, how, by your thoughts. You make that decision every moment of every day if you're going to allow something to ruin your mood. When something doesn't go as you planned do you sulk or worse yet, try to bring others into your doom and gloom. The saying goes that birds of a feather flock together and being in the negative is the same thing. If you didn't have an audience, would you continue on your path of complaint, most likely not? While in the negative you seek others who will buy into your story about how things aren't working out for you. The good news is that you can change and it's all up to you. Take responsibility and own the power that is within you. You decide what effect an event is going to have on you. Don't let the circumstance own you. You own it. You decide. You make the conscious choice when something doesn't go right to immediately figure out what you learned from it and then put it where it belongs, in the past. Only then can you clear your mind and forge ahead with a clear open mind and make it a great day no matter what happened.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Visualization + Action = Manifestation

"I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich." -- Jim Carrey

Visualize the life you want but don't stop there. Pay attention to divine guidance as it directs you to your dream and then don't stop there either. Say YES to its call. And then take action.

That's how you create the life you want.

Keep visualizing, listening and acting.

It'll take you places!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

If at First You don’t Succeed ….

You know how it goes but what does try really mean? It means to attempt. If someone told you they were attempting to lose weight and attempting to lose weight, or whatever their goal and they weren't making any progress, what would you think? You'd think they were failing. To try is to fail with honor. "Try" has become so common in our language that we've lost the true meaning of it. A better option would be to say you're working on it. Saying it that way implies that you are consciously aware of what is going on. What is working and what is not working and that you are actively restructuring your methods to achieve that goal. Language shapes everything in our world. As people speak, they reveal themselves. Language is the house of being. Words like "try" and "I'll do the best I can" are indicative of a diluted commitment. If you say, "I'll probably get that done", it sounds like a slim chance of happening. Is it done or isn't it? There is power in the words we choose to use. Choose your words wisely and consciously to achieve the true intention to your commitment.

Parts taken from Sue Hawk, Ideal Coaching.

Friday, November 26, 2010

How to Stay Positive

Whenever I find a great resource for transformation I like to pass it on. Here is an excerpt from Susan Jeffers, PHD who wrote the book, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway".

So here you are a blob of negativity. How do you even begin to turn around those miserable thoughts that take away your power? You begin by doing the same thing you would do if your body were out of shape. You create an exercise program - in this case, to retrain your mind. To do so, you must take action.

Before giving a suggested action plan, I recommend that you have on hand the following to make your daily routine more efficient and certainly more pleasurable:

1) A small audio cassette or CD player, iPod, whatever suits you best for portable listening.

2) Positive audio and CD's. These include affirmations, relaxation, meditation, motivation, visualization, and inspirational tapes and CD's. Also, there are many uplifting books available in audio format.

3) Positive books that inspire and motivate. I suggest buying your books instead of borrowing, if possible. You may want to underline and write in the books and reread them over and over again. Remember, you are investing in yourself.

4) Index cards or Post-it notes

5) Positive quotes. Write them on your index cards or Post-it notes and hang or attach them where you'll see them, on your mirror, car, refrigerator, and phone. i.e.; "I'm not a failure if I don't make it ... I'm a success because I tried." Unknown.

6) Affirmations. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is self-talk in its highest form. It is a positive statement that something is already happening. It's not happening tomorrow or in the future, but right now.

- I relax knowing I can handle it.
- I stand tall and take responsibility for my life.
- I know that I count and I act as if I do.


-Always state affirmations in the present (I am now handling my fears vs. I will handle my fears)
-Always phrase affirmations in the positive, rather than the negative. (I am becoming more confident every day vs. I am no longer putting myself down)

Select affirmations that feel right to you at any given time. What feels right changes as your situation and mood change. What's important? Out talk your negativity. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are. What positive thinking does is offer a power boost to help you handle whatever life gives you.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

What's Wrong with being a Pollyanna?

Nothing! There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic. That is pure madness. It is reported that more than 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means that our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn't being positive more realistic than being negative?

If you think about it, the important issue is not which is more realistic, but rather, "Why be miserable when you can be happy?" If being a Pollyanna creates a happier world for you and those around you, why hesitate for one more moment?

Nothing is realistic or unrealistic-there is only what we think about any given situation. We create our own reality. What does all this tell you? STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power.... and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.

So, why don't people think more positively? People don't understand what being a positive thinker requires. It takes a special commitment and requires a great deal of practice. And then once you get it all down perfectly, a maintenance program is a must. If you don't practice, you lose the skill. This is the point most people don't seem to understand. So how do you stay positive? Stay tuned.

This excerpt is from: "Feel the fear and do it anyway", by Susan Jeffers, PHD. It’s a very good read.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Be Careful You Might Make the Wrong Choice

One of the biggest fears that keep us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing - to starve. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life a delicious feast.

The problem is that we have been taught "Be careful! You might make the wrong decision. A wrong decision! Oh no! What will that deprive me of? Closely tied to this is our panic over making mistakes. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Yet, when we become uncomfortable, that is when we're growing.

I have a saying posted in my home about worrying that states, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." There really is nothing to lose, only something to gain, whatever the choices you make or actions you take in life. All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it. You can actually shift your thinking in such a way as to make a wrong decision or mistake impossibility. It's not an obstacle, it's a learning experience. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this so that the next time it won't happen." There are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities -despite the outcome. Remember that underlying all your fears is a lack of trust in self. Say to yourself, "I can handle it."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Intend of Being Successful

Intentions are so important. What is more important is how they are expressed. It all begins with a belief that it is possible. Without the belief there is no possibility. However with the ingrained belief that your desire is possible, you then begin to conceive of the solution.  You have to feel as if it has already happened. Speak as if it’s a given. Act as if you’re already there. It's going to happen and now all you have to do is go through the motions of achieving it. Give it 100%. Make a commitment. Stick with it. Take action every day towards your goal. Little by little, bit by bit the intention becomes reality. It may not be easy but then anything worth having never is.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What do You Stand for?

What do you stand for? People today are too afraid to take a stand. I'm not referring to environmental, political, or humane causes. There are people who do take a stand in those areas, but it had to start somewhere. I'm referring to the day to day occurrences that happen to people every day. Someone cuts in line. Do you stand there and let it happen or do call the person on it? Not in a rude way but in an informative way. I say it like that because if you are rude you'll attract the same thing back. If you inform the other person, you give the person the benefit of the doubt. It may not change the situation but then again you could learn that the person didn't notice, had other things on his/her mind, or has an emergency situation. Ideally, the offending person apologizes and takes notice to not do it in the future. How about taking a stand to have integrity in your workplace? It has to start somewhere. If you want to work in an atmosphere of integrity and respect, you have to take a stand to hold everyone to that standard, including yourself.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Stressed Out

What causes stress? Most would say that having a lot to do but not having the time to do it causes stress and they would be right. But why is it that some people get a lot accomplished, yet they don't appear to be stressed out? We all have the same 24 hrs in a day.

If all you had to deal with was what was happening at the moment, would you be stressed? Not likely. What makes a person stressed out are all the other things that are not done. In our day to day life we spend so much time just doing the daily stuff that all the other things get pushed aside. You know the stuff. The stuff you keep putting off and putting off like; cleaning out the garage, getting caught up on your photos, fixing that door hinge, giving away old clothes, having some friends over for dinner, or calling that friend that you've been meaning to for the past five years. Typically we rationalize that it's not that important, and in the grand scheme of life it's not. However, it still is in the back of your mind taking up space that could be used for better things. Therefore, ask yourself what it would feel like to have absolutely everything on your internal list done. What would that look like? Imagine how free you would feel. Can you, if you can't then it'll never happen. It can be hard work, but when you work on doing the stuff on your internal list you will gradually become freer. Your life will become less stressful and you will be able to live in the moment. Now, get busy.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What Are You Making More Important?

What do you make important in your every day decisions? Think about it. Every time you make a decision you are deciding what is more important to you. Take for example being late for work. What did you make more important; getting more sleep, looking better, or having something to eat? Something else was more important to you than getting to work on time. Take notice. The same thing goes for the decisions you make throughout the day. Should you talk to this person first, run this report, check on a schedule change, or go have lunch because you're famished. What did you give the top priority to? It's a notice for you to make about yourself. This could be the reason things don't work out as you had planned, because you made something else more important. You lived your circumstances. What to do? The first step is to be aware of what you are doing. From there you need to decide what you can do in the future to make it work out better so that you life runs smoother.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Hey! Where is My Support

How do you find a good support system? Well, you have to go out and create the kind of support system you want. Remember that people will be flattered by your interest in whatever you ask them. You will make them feel good just by asking or simply calling them. Pick someone you perceive as being a few steps ahead of you in personal growth. A good place to find such people is at self-improvement classes, workshops, or seminars.

What do I do when my mate is the one who is dragging me down? The thing to remember here is that the mate may look at this change as a personal rejection of him or her or that you will outgrow or find them unattractive as a mate. Communicating that you are still committed to the relationship and him/her and that you are seeking to become all that you can be is the key. The mate will have to make a decision as to whether they support you in that or not.

What we resist persists. Do you want to improve your life or not? Although the thought that your relationship could break down may be very frightening, in actuality I know of no one who has chosen the path of growth over his or her relationship who has regretted that choice.

Believe that your mate wants what is best for you and that he or she will ultimately love the positive changes in you.

Know that in all likelihood, as you start to take risks and grow, you are going to get resistance from people in your life. It's a given. It is their way of defending their security. What is important is that you know what is happening. It will also help if you acknowledge others when they are supporting you. Also, it will greatly help your understanding to know that one of the reasons we react so hostilly when others don't support us is our need for approval. Whenever we get upset at the comments of loved ones, it is a clue that we are still acting like a child. Guilt is another clue. Guilt and hostility often mask our anger at ourselves and others for our not being able to break unhealthy ties with loved one. For example being able to say; "I love you but I have to live my own life". The less you need some one's approval, the more you are able to love them.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

If You Think You Can, You Can

One of the biggest fears that keep us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing - to starve. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life a delicious feast.

The problem is that we have been taught "Be careful! You might make the wrong decision. A wrong decision! Oh no! What will that deprive me of? Closely tied to this is our panic over making mistakes. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Yet, when we become uncomfortable, that is when we're growing.

I have a saying posted in my home about worrying that states, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." There really is nothing to lose, only something to gain, whatever the choices you make or actions you take in life. All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it. You can actually shift your thinking in such a way as to make a wrong decision or mistake impossibility. It's not an obstacle, it's a learning experience. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this so that the next time it won't happen." There are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities -despite the outcome. Remember that underlying all our fears is a lack of trust in self. Say to yourself, "I can handle it."

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Why is this Happening to me?

Isn't that what we say when something isn't going right? My horoscope said the other day that basically everything was going as it should and that I should not be surprised by this. Everything was happening for me instead of to me and if I really looked at my life, this is how it's always been. This got me to thinking about the wording of that sentence, for me instead of to me.

"For me" says this is for my benefit no matter what situation I may be in. It's something I need to learn so that I can move forward with my own personal growth. Also, by using the word "for" it makes it sound like a gift as in the universe is giving me this obstacle because it wants me to benefit from the ordeal.

It's all a matter of perception when an ordeal, situation, or obstacle is thrust upon you. How will you react to it? Get angry, cry, or blame someone else. What can you do to control it? You can only control your reaction to it. Therefore take it for what it is, a learning experience. You see, if you already learned from it, it wouldn't have happened. The question to ask yourself then is, "What can I learn from this? What can I take away from this experience to ensure that it doesn't happen again?
To ask why something is happening to you is to take the role of the victim and then you're headed down the road of dome and gloom and that's not a pretty place to go. No one likes to go there but somehow at times we find ourselves at the pity party. It's a boring party. The only other guests are just like you wallowing in their own despair. Get out while you can by taking ownership of your life by asking what you can learn from life's hurdles. Once you realize that by taking responsibility for your life's ups and downs, then you will become an empowered individual. It's all happening for your benefit.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Four Questions That Will Change Your World

In the book, "Loving What Is ", by Byron Katie, she states that there are four questions that you need to ask yourself the next time you get mad, upset, and then judge someone. Actually it is good all the time. It’s like being your own coach. These questions help walk you through whatever situation you happen to be going through. The absolute thing you MUST do to make this work is to be HONEST. You MUST be TOTALLY HONEST with yourself.

Think of a situation or issue involving another person that is happening to you right now and ask yourself these questions.

1) Is it true?

2) Can you ABSOLUTELY know that it's true?

3) How do you react when you think that thought?

4) Who would you be without the thought?

In the first question what typically is stated as the truth is actually assumed, presumed, or only half true and sometimes it is just some one's personal opinion.

The second question is a kicker because many times you may only know part of the story and then the rest of your opinion, viewpoint is filled with assumptions.

The third question has to do with how you feel when you think these thoughts. How many times have you found out some unpleasant information and then started to fill in the rest with the "what ifs" all the while having your emotions run higher and higher when in reality you know very little about the actual facts.

On the fourth question you ask yourself how you would feel if you didn't have that thought. What would your mood and emotions be like?


when you get done asking yourself, honestly, the questions you had about another person, then you turn it around and replace that person's name with your own. Yes, with your name. Is what you’re upset about really something that you're not doing or being? Are you all those things that you've just blamed onto someone else, most of the time it is? Another word for it is mirroring and sometimes we don't look too pretty.

You can go to www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com to view other books I recommend.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I GOT the Power

Some people say that they do not like the concept of power and want no part of it. It is true that in our world the word "power" has some negative overtone. It often implies control over others, and, unfortunately, is often misused.

The kind of power I am talking about is entirely different. In fact, it makes you less manipulative of those around you, and certainly more loving. I am talking about power within the self. This means power over your perceptions of the world, power over how you react to situations in your life, power to do what is necessary for you own self-growth, power to create joy and satisfaction in your life, power to act, and power to love.

This kind of power has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not egomania, but a healthy self-love. In fact, egomaniacs have absolutely no feeling of power-thus their compelling need to control those around them. Their lack of power leaves them in a perpetual state of fear, since their survival depends on the outside world. No one is more unloving than a person who can't own his or her own power. Such people spend their lives trying to pull it out of everyone else. Their need creates all sorts of manipulative behavior.

The kind of power I'm talking about leaves you free, since you don't expect the rest of the world to fill you up. It's not the ability to get someone else to do what you want them to do. It's the ability to get yourself to do what you want to do. If you do not own this kind of power, you lose your sense of peace. You are in a very vulnerable place.

When you become powerful within yourself, then you become authentic and loving to those around you. The truth is that love and power go together. With power, one can really begin to open the heart. With no power, love is distorted. You can easily play into being the victim.

From: "Feel the Fear ... and do it anyway", Susan Jeffers, PHD

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Who Are You Flocking With?

Have you ever noticed that positive, successful people flock together? I never see positive successful people with negative downers. Its one reason successful people are successful. How do your associations affect you?

One reason, positive, successful people just seem to gravitate to other positive, successful people. Modeling is one of the most effective ways people learn. They learn by example. You can have negative modeling -which is why people who spend time with negative, unsuccessful people become negative and unsuccessful. Or, you can have positive modeling. People who spend time with positive, successful people become successful themselves. That's because they see successful people as models to learn from. They're inspired by them. They say to themselves, "If they can do it, I can do it".

They're grateful to have these positive, successful people in their lives so they can have a blueprint to follow. They know that if you take the same exact actions and have the exact same mind-set; chances are good that you will get the exact same results.

In contrast, what do poor people do when they hear about other people's success? Do they model them? Do they intend to rise to their level? No! Poor people often judge them, criticize them, mock them or try to pull the successful people down to their own level. How could they possibly learn from rich people or be inspired by them when they're tearing them down?

Energy is contagious? You either affect people or you infect people. Why would you want to be infected by negativity?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Is the Law of Attraction Working for You?

When the Student is Ready the Teacher Will Appear.

What does that mean anyway? It's simple. When you are ready to begin searching for an answer suddenly opportunities, contacts, and information becomes available. How does that work? You become aware. Consciously you are now aware of anything that might vaguely help you in your search. You could pass by a business every day for years not even aware of all the services they provide, or you could know an acquaintance that specializes or knows of someone who specializes in the information you are searching for without even knowing it. Because you are on a mission to get this information, your senses are in overdrive. Every paper, book, store, or person could be or lead you to where you want to go. Your senses are not only in overdrive but so is your vocabulary. You actively tell people about your quest and even during a light chit chat you mention it. Suddenly opportunity seems to be knocking at your door. Without even trying, the information you needed is coming to you from all sources. You notice that the business you've pasted by for the last four years has just what you're looking for. It was always advertised in smaller print but you never noticed it before. That acquaintance you ran into three weeks ago calls and says he's talked to a friend of his that can help you out. You are ready to learn and the teachers have appeared.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Truth is You REALLY Are in Control - Total Control

For some reason, you are consciously or unconsciously choosing to be in that lousy job, you are choosing to hate the single life, you are choosing to stay in a destructive relationship, you are choosing to let you daughter drive you crazy, you are choosing to sabotage anything good in your life. I know this is difficult to accept the fact that you are the cause of the feelings that take away your joy in life. It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy. On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing. If you know you can create your own misery, it stands to reason that you can also create your own joy. Taking responsibility for your experiences of life is the component of a more powerful way of living. Believe that you are the cause of all your experiences of life, meaning that you are the cause of your reactions to everything that happens to you. Whenever you are not taking responsibility, you put yourself in a position of pain, and hence decrease your ability to handle the fear in your life.

1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.

2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

(This sounds contradictory, but it is not. Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim)

3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.

4. Taking responsibility means handling the chatterbox (the voice inside your head that creates all sorts of stories, theories, assumptions)

5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you stuck. (Staying in a lousy job for fear of rejection the payoff: easier to stay)

6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.

7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.

From: "Feel the fear ... and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. PHD

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Success. What Does it Look Like?

The definition for success is different for everyone, but I find this definition says it the best.


“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he has, whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction”.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

You CAN Have Absolute Control

You have absolute control over but one thing, and that is your thoughts. This is the most significant and inspiring of all facts known to man. It reflects man's divine nature. This divine prerogative is the sole means by which you may control your own destiny. - Napoleon Hill "Think and Grow Rich"

Wow! That is profound and so true. It is your thoughts that become your language, that becomes your actions and thus your life - destiny. YOU have the power to control it. The question is, "What are you going to do with it?"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

What Makes That Important?

You are making decisions all day and in the midst of all that, you are always making something more important than something else. Notice that. What are you making more important? Once you figure out what it is, ask yourself why that is. In the process you will learn so much more about yourself that you probably never paid attention to.
As Pythagoras said, "Know thyself and you know everything."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

If You're Afraid You'll Make a Mistake...

That quote came from all places the Family Circus comic. How true. If you want something to happen you must take the risk that you'll fail. But don't look at it as failing. It's NOT failing. It's learning. You're just on a learning curve. The most successful people in the world had a lot of failures before they became successful. They had to. It was a learning process. Without those learning experiences, they never would have become who they are today.

And remember what Don Shula said, "Success is not forever and failure is never fatal."

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What Would You Rather Give More Energy to?

That's a good question. How often have you stopped to ask yourself if you're doing what you really want to do? Am I putting my energy into finishing the project I started or do I keep putting it off to do other daily stuff? And it is really just stuff. Keeping busy but not getting anywhere. Or, am I creating the life I want or going with the flow? Figure out what you rather give your energy to and then focus your energy there, spending time with your family doing things or working an extra hour or two. It's basically finding what does it for you. What makes your day? Put your energy there and you will be a much happier person. Besides, the world could use more happy people.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

See it. Believe it. Be it.

What you want to be eventually, you must be every day. With practice, the quality of your deeds gets down to your soul. - Frank Crane

See yourself doing it. Believe that it can be done. Work on it on a daily basis. If you sway off your course, don't stop, get back on. With each day it becomes part of who you are and you no longer have to think about it. You then have embodied it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

What is Your Gift to the World?

We all were given our own special unique gifts to give to the world. What are they? That's for you to find out. The strange thing about gifts is that you may not recognize it as a gift because it comes so naturally to you. Are you a good listener? Do people naturally confide in you without being prompted? Or, are you the "go to" person? The one people go to when they want to make sure something gets done? Those are gifts. What is it that you are naturally good at and comfortable doing? You didn't have to learn it because it is part of who you are. You excel when you are using your gifts without really trying. In essence, you were born with them.

All your gifts were given to you for a reason; to use and share with as many people as possible. Start sharing your gifts. Stop hoarding them or pretending they don't exist. It comes down to this: If not you, then who? Remember, you are unique. NO ONE has the same exact gifts that you have in the same exact degree, used in the same exact situation. Go for it. What have you got to lose? Small steps, it starts with you.

“How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world” - Anne Frank

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Uncomfortable? Good!

When things for you start to get uncomfortable, that's a good sign that you're growing. Yes, it may not seem all that fun at the moment, but in the end you will come away with increased knowledge and experience. Think back to when you were learning a new skill while you were growing up. There are so many to choose from because you were learning ALL THE TIME. Everything was new. Learning how to walk, riding a bike, baking a cake, learning a new subject, driving a car, dating for the first time, your first kiss, and your first job were all new experiences that you overcame and now you have embodied them. Do you really have to think about how to kiss anymore? All of those things you overcame and more importantly you grew. Therefore, the next time you are feeling uncomfortable with a new challenge that you are faced with, recognize it for what it is a chance to grow. It's all a matter of your perception that can make all the difference.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

You See What You Want to See

Yes, that's what people do. They see what they want to see and then collect evidence to support that position. It's the Law of Attraction at work.

Take for example an environmental or the political issues that are being talked about these days. For every position that someone holds there is someone else countering that position with new or different evidence. Each side is seeing what they want to see. It is what they already believe in. They keep looking and hearing for the side that they already believe in, collecting evidence along the way to support it. When something does come up that may cast doubt on their beliefs, it is casted aside as not reliable, gossip, political positioning. Think about it, if everyone was truly open to all the evidence that is out there, we would not have debates or discussions, in essence, there wouldn't be conflict. Of course, the evidence could come down as being inconclusive, in fact, that is usually the case. Therefore, all anyone can go on is their own beliefs. Be aware of when you are holding a position. Are you doing it to be right, to keep your position? When you are collecting evidence, are you truly looking at all aspects or only the ones you agree with? Basically, are you truly being open.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

What Would You do if You Only had a Few Months to Live?

You'd probably list all the things you want to do in your short life; Do the things you've always wanted to do, say the things you've always wanted to say but for some reason it never materialized, be the person you only thought you could be. Why not live it now? If you were going to die in a year you would have lived everything on that list. Now that you know you have your whole life before you, you may as well spend your whole life living what you want. That is the most valuable list you could have.

What is really important to people when they are facing the end of their life? The answer seems clear: they have lived according to their core values, meaning how much love did they give and receive in their life. They also, wanted to feel somehow that the world is richer for their presence. Don't we all want that? What would we do if only we gave ourselves the time and authority? How much of what we truly wish for ourselves do we pursue? And do we have to be on our death beds to know what's important?

What's your purpose? It’s your map and guide to finding the answers to all these questions.

"One Purpose", Richard Jacobs

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Appreciate yourself. The next time someone pays you a compliment, don't shrug it off or put yourself down. When we push away acknowledgement of our divine selves, we can't amplify the good that is trying to move through our lives. We can be humble and still accept praise. Accept that others are seeing the God within you. Take pleasure that others recognize your true identity. And give the gift of a compliment to someone else. -Mary Mannin Morrissey

We all have gifts that we don't recognize because they are so embodied in ourselves that we think of them as easy and therefore not worth mentioning. If fact, other people see it as a gift that they don't have and therefore they appreciate it. When someone gives you a compliment, a simple "Thank You" will do. However, take a moment to think about that compliment and what it really meant to the sender. I think you will discover something about yourself that will put a smile on your face and who couldn't use that?

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I Can See Clearly Now

For thousands of years, we have been taught not to judge - but let's face it, we still do it all the time. The truth is that we all have judgments running in our heads.

If you begin by pointing the finger of blame outward, then the focus isn't on you. You can just let loose and be uncensored. We're often quite sure about what other people need to do, how they should live, whom they should be with. We have 20/20 vision about others, but not about ourselves.

When you do The Work, you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking. You’re the storyteller, the projector of all stories, and the world is the projected image of your thoughts.

Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn't ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector - mind - rather than the projected. It's like when there's a piece of lint on a projector's lens. We think there's a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whoever the flaw appears to be on next. But it's futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.

Find out more about The Work by Byron Katie in; "Loving What Is".

Thursday, September 23, 2010


It is not because things are difficult we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult." -- Seneca

Come on. Say yes to the dare. :)

There is a great book I read that really addresses the fear that keeps each of us from achieving what we're meant to do. It is called, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. This book gets down to the nitty gritty as to why you have the fear and what to do about it. Basically, fear will always be there. What are you going to do about it; let it rule you or conquer your fear and take control of your life? If you take a long hard look at the reasons you don't do something, there is a fear buried deep within you that you may not even admit to yourself. You're afraid. What are you afraid of; losing a friendship, relationship, job, possessions, financial security, yourself? Even when you look at addictions, the person is afraid of confronting someone or something so they drown themselves in the addiction to numb the reality. If it doesn't show up as an addiction, it may show up as being a work alcoholic, moody, withdrawn, or angry. It is only when the person faces their fear that he or she finally is in control of their destiny. Take the dare.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Working Together - Nature Supplies the Perfect Model

The reason why geese fly in "V" formation is because as each bird flaps its wings it creates uplift for the one that follows it. This way the whole flock achieves an extra 71% flying range. 71%! When the lead goose tires it drifts back into the formation and another moves to the lead position so that they all benefit from the extra lift.

Nature has the perfect model. These birds are working better together than any other human group I've ever met or heard of... and they have brains the size of olives. "If geese can do it, people can to."

When participants unite behind a common purpose, they make each person's load easier and together they boost each other's potential. What a great concept!

"One Purpose", Richard Jacobs

Saturday, September 18, 2010

What's Your Purpose?

We are all fundamentally the same. We all want peace, loving relationships, a sense of meaning and truth in our lives, and to feel in our autumn years that the world is somehow richer for our presence. So where does this sense of fulfillment come from? And do we have to wait until it's nearly all over before we realize what is truly important to us?

What's your purpose? Lets you find answers to these questions, by helping you to define and live what are most important to you. Purpose is a focus, intent. What's your Purpose? Asks you, what do I intent to give to the world? Do you wish to leave this planet with things untried, undone and unsaid? In our heart of hearts, each of us wants to live life deeply in Integrity with who we are and our highest vision of the world. Every time we go against this deep sense of knowing and "rightness" we eat away at our own energy source and we become compromised human beings ... someone who has settled for less than their best, who has become jaded, tired and believing more in limitation than in possibility.

Purpose is the acupuncture point of Integrity. When we live it, everything that is meaningful to us, our values and our highest beliefs come into alignment and we become the expression of the best part of ourselves.

"One Purpose" by Richard Jacobs

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Catch the Wave and Ripple

A ripple effect is just what you think it is it goes on and on. Like the ripple effect of a wave of water, it can be huge like in the ocean wave or smaller like when something is dropped in some water. I like the second description better because when that happens it spreads all out from around the point of entry and then keeps extending outward.

Think of the effect someone had on you by just saying "Hi" or "How's it going" with a smile. Or when someone you didn't know let you go in front of them in line. How about the times you've had a chance encounter with someone and in the course of that interaction you both got a chuckle out of something. Doesn't that change your mood? Suddenly the muck that was running around in your brain has disappeared. You're in a different place, mentally. All someone has to do is give me an unsolicited piece of chocolate and I'm in a good mood. It's so simple. Now I'm in a better mood which causes me to be friendlier with the people I come in contact with. I then put other people in a good mood and then it keeps on multiplying - the ripple effect- its random acts of kindness. It's what makes the world a better place

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What You Focus on is What You Get

If you focus on the high gas prices, unemployment, war, natural disasters, and the downturn in the economy then that is all you'll see and you'll get more of the same. However, when you start focusing on the two houses that just got sold on your block, the friend who got a new job, the outpouring of relief that people are willing to give, then that is what you'll see and then that is what you'll see more of. The economy always goes up and down. There will always be natural disasters, and there always seems to be a war going on somewhere on earth. That is the nature on humans and life on earth. What can you change? You can change your perception and put out into the universe your view on how things could be. Instead of being anti-war, be pro-peace. Instead of thinking about how bad the economy is, think about it as going through a rough patch and focus on the light at the tunnel. Our ancestors went through more than we ever did. Other countries are in worse shape than we are. Face it. We're spoiled. We don't want to suffer yet those before us have and for citizens of other countries it's a fact of life. Get over yourself! Put out into the universe the positive things about life.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Play to Your Strengths

Often times people believe that by working harder on something they're not good at they will somehow become a more complete, successful, and therefore better person. However, the Gallop Poll has proven that the most successful people play to their strengths and find someone or something else to cover for the rest. It makes sense. There is a reason you are good at some things and not others. They came naturally to you therefore you are meant to use them to fulfill your purpose in life. If they are innate and come naturally to you then to succeed in them is effortless to you.

The problem is we don't always recognize our own talents, strengths, and gifts. Sure other people can point them out with ease but we have a hard time recognizing our own gifts. We tend to brush the complements off because either we don't want the attention or it was so easy for us that it doesn't deserve a complement. Think of all the things you have been complemented in your life; those are your talents, strengths, and gifts. Should your brush that off than think of all the people you have come across that aren't good at it.

You will always find someone out there who is better at something than you. However, NO ONE ELSE looks, hears, or feels the same way that you do. Therefore, it is IMPOSSIBLE for someone else to come up with the same way of thinking, doing, or saying something like you will. Long story short, don't be afraid to go for it and say or do it your way.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Change Your Mind and Change Your World

The title is a lyric from a song by Sugarland. It’s very short but extremely powerful. It means by YOU deciding to change your perspective or mindset on a viewpoint, person, emotion etc will literally change your world.

Simply put, you take any situation you find yourself in; stuck in traffic, loss of job and find the positive learning experience in it. It can be difficult to find something positive about losing a job but here are some positive points.

 I really wasn’t happy there anyway.

 This gives me an opportunity to take advantage of some programs out there to update my skills.

 I’ll find something better because I’m a talented person.

 Maybe now would be a good time to pursue that career change.

There is always something positive to find in any given situation, you just may need to look harder to find it. Even when you’re in an argument it could be that you’re learning to stand up for yourself. When you’re stuck in traffic it could be that now you have time to listen to that tape or CD you’ve been carrying around. Someone you know passes away and you realize what you learned from that person, appreciate it and decide to be more like them.

Every moment of your life you have the power to decide whether to be happy or sad. The influence of those around you need not negatively impact your experience. You are the creator of your world and therefore it’s up to you to decide how YOU will view it.

Change your mind and change your world.

Friday, August 27, 2010

I See You - Do You Really?

I love that line from Avatar, “I see you” because it goes far deeper than just the surface level of seeing. It means I see you for what is your true spiritual self. How much better the world would be if everyone would see the true intention of others.

The teenager wouldn’t be so upset at his parents when he gets denied access to the car because the parent’s true intention is to teach him that safety comes first over the cell phone or being cool while driving. They do this out of love. They do it because they want him to be safe.

To “see” someone as it refers to here is to see someone for who-they-really-are. That would mean not seeing race, color, sex or creed etc but seeing the person’s true identity as white light of pure love, their essence. That’s deep.

The problem is that often times people will get caught up in the surface stuff like not believing that a woman can be a good boxer or that a guy can be sensitive and still be a man. There have been far too many stereotypes, assumptions, and social stigma that have pigeonholed people into being and doing things they truly don’t’ want to do nor are comfortable being. Why, for the sake of fitting into a predetermined pattern that has been developed for years, maybe even centuries. Why were they developed and why do they continue? My best guess is two-fold. One is that it’s become tradition and the other is that some people just can’t handle things being different. They are comfortable with the status quo.

However, when you put pressure on people to conform to your standards you’re messing with their Free Will, the will be to who-they-are. Perhaps you may not like who they truly are but more like you never really knew who-they-are. Of course it goes the other way too. You do have Free Will to be who-you-are but are putting pressure on yourself to conform to others standards. Hmm…

Your challenge is to see someone for who-they-are. It could be the person in the wheelchair, a person of a different race, creed, or sex than you. Look past the surface and see the essence that glows within

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Get Yourself in for an Alignment

Just like your vehicle periodically needs to an alignment, so do you. What is this alignment? It’s getting yourself in sync with your divine self.

Your conscious mind is likely in charge of what you should or shouldn’t do or be. However, to align with yourself you have to listen to your higher self. Why? It always wins. You can fight it as much as you like but in the end you won’t achieve happiness until you align with your higher self.

When you’re feeling out of sorts with yourself or things just aren’t going the way you had hoped, it typically means you’re out of alignment with your divine self. Let’s be clear about “going the way you want” kind of attitude. Take notice if it’s something you’re ego wants or what your higher self craves. This is important. No matter how hard you want it, satisfying the ego will not get you into alignment.

“The relationship between you and your Source is the most significant relationship of all and unless this relationship is understood, all other relationships cannot be fully understood”.

How will you know when you’re in alignment with your higher self? Basically if it feels right, it is. Your emotions are the prime indicator of how well you are connecting with you higher self. Negative emotions and thought patterns take you away from Divine Source while positive emotions bring you closer.

Here is what Abraham (Esther and Jerry Hicks) has to say about connecting with your Divine Self.

“You came as physical extensions of Source Energy, understanding that you would explore contrast, causing expansion not only for you but for All-That-Is. And you knew that, at all times, even while you were reaching into uncharted territories, the Guidance from within would not waver, but would remain a constant signal of Well-Being that you could reach toward and find at all times. You knew that under all conditions, you could find your way back to the resources of your Source by “feeling” your way – by understanding that the relationship between you and You is not one of separateness but one of alignment and resonance…. When you master the Art of Allowing your consistent alignment with the Source within you –every other relationship will be beneficial and pleasurable”.

The Art of Allowing has to do with accepting what is happening to you without attaching negative emotions to it. It means concentrating on the positive aspects of the change versus the negative. For example, you lose your job. It would be far better to focus your energy on pursuing a career you really want and cherishing the additional time you get to spend with your family then to focus on how badly you were treated or money woes.

You can check out more about the Law of Attraction by reading the many books that Esther and Jerry Hicks have published.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

What is the Perfect Form of Government?

There are many types of government to choose from and lately there are some who believe the US should shift from a Republic to more of a Democracy or Socialism. What is the best?

According to those who channel the spirits; Abraham-Hicks and The Light Collective, we are spirits having a human experience. We are here to learn. It could be that you’ve come here to learn how to speak up for yourself, learn how to listen, love yourself. In fact, you could have several themes that you are trying to learn from. The one thing that both sources say that is behind it all is that you have free will. That means you are free to choose whether or not you want to go along with whatever is happening in your life. For example: Are you learning to speak up for yourself or choosing not to? Have you learned to love your handicap and how overweight you are or are you choosing to be angry at the world? There are hundreds of examples that I could list but you’re probably wondering what that has to do with government.

If free will is at the core of learning from our experiences then it’s only logical that freedom should be part of our government. So what is the perfect form of government according to Abraham?

“It would be a government that allows you freedom to be or have as you want.” However, that will come only when there is an understanding of how you are getting what you are getting. Government, for the most part, has become one of rules and regulations primarily established to protect one of you from the other of you. “When you come to understand that you invite through thought, then you will not feel so much need for all of that restriction, and then your government can be established as it was begun –more to offer services rather than restriction or control.”

What is Abraham referring to here? They are referring to the Law of Attraction. Our thoughts bring about our outcome. If you are focused on debt and unemployment, then that is what you’ll get more of. If you find someone irritating, you then will go about observing and collecting evidence to support your view without taking into account the other 90% of the time the person is quite nice. It’s all a matter of perspective. You can learn more about the Law of Attraction from Esther and Jerry Hicks. The movie, The Secret, was taken from their channel work.

Oh and by the way, no one makes you angry or irritates you. You make yourself angry and irritable.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Your Greatest Challenge Gives You Your Greatest Growth

Oh wouldn’t it be great if everything was handed to you? Any want or need satisfied. Wait a minute…..that would be boring!
Sure, no one likes to have challenges but they will give you the greatest growth. I’m not referring to the challenges you greet with anticipation like the challenge of going to college or competing for a position. I’m referring to the challenges you don’t want like being around others who cut you down or ignore you. What makes that a challenge and what could you learn from it?

You can put up with it or develop the courage to do something about it. When someone cuts you down or ignores you, you have the challenge of speaking up for yourself. Once you learn how to do that, it’s no longer a challenge for you.

If you look back, some of your greatest challenges have also produced the greatest self growth. If you had not risen to the challenge you would have never learned the lesson you needed to learn. What’s interesting is that if you don’t learn from your challenges, you will continue to have them over and over until you do. They might show up in different forms but it still is the challenge you need to overcome. It’s like the guy who keeps marrying someone with an addictive personality. He divorced his wife that’s an alcoholic only to marry other women who is addicted to pills or work. Same brand, different model. Everyone else can see the similarities but the guy who is actually emotionally involved in the situation. Therefore, when you find yourself in a challenging relationship or situation, ask yourself what the challenge is here and what can you do to flip it. Clearly identify the challenge and make a commitment to rise about it.

In order to better serve you, please take a moment to fill out the one question survey on the right-hand column.

Find out more about how Your True Heart's Desire can change your life at http://www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com/

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Truth Will Set You Free

I never quite knew what that phrase meant until I came upon Byron Kathie and the work of Ester and Jerry Hicks. How could truth set you free? The phrase seemed to be in contrast with its self, but now I understand.
Truth isn’t so much about a knowing as in an increased knowledge out there but of a knowing as in awareness of one’s self. It is not only that kind of awareness but then an acceptance and then a welcomed surrender to the way things are. When you can accept things the way they are be it the annoying way your friend interrupts, the irresponsible behavior of your co-worker, or the dire financial situation you find yourself in, then you are in a space of understanding the truth. It’s accepting that the way the person acts and that this is the way I am. Does it mean you must put up with it? Hardly! A better way to phrase it is that you acknowledge the current situation. You take an attitude of “It is what it is.” Other people are out of your control. You can only control your reaction to whatever is happening. When you can come to this awareness, that’s when freedom takes over. It’s a welcome sigh of relief. It is freedom from anxiety, disappointment and irritable feelings that arise when you are unable to control a person or situation.

Therefore, the saying means to acknowledge and accept the way things currently are occurring in order to be emotionally free from your negative feelings. Only love will remain. Negative feelings do nothing to move you forward, only love can do that. Love is a positive energy force. In “Loving What is”, by Byron Katie, it’s all about acknowledging the way things are and realizing that you create your own negative or positive feelings around the person or situation that is happening. It is a very good self-help book. You can check it out on my resource list at www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com

In order to better serve you, please take a moment to fill out the one question survey on the right-hand column.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Calling Yourself a Victim is the Easy Way Out.

It’s easy to be the victim - so easy. All you have to do is blame someone or something else for you not being or getting what you want. Basically it’s a cop out. You probably think you didn’t have choice but you did. Every choice you have made has led you to where you are today. If you don’t like where you are, make better choices.
I’m not referring to victim of crime here. I’m referring to when you blame your spouse, kids, boss, employer, friends, relative etc for your failure. Of course you probably wouldn’t refer to yourself as a victim but in essence that is what you’re calling yourself. When you blame other people or circumstances for your failures you are focusing your attention on others instead of yourself. In that way, you don’t need to take responsibility for your own choices and then can feel better about yourself. It sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

Taking responsibility for your choices is not always easy to do. In fact, anything worth having doing and being is accomplished by making the right choices and sticking to it. The rewards are great when you do it.

Take the kid who is pressured into taking or selling drugs in a neighborhood riddled with gangs. It would take courage and perseverance not to conform to that lifestyle. In order not to conform, the child would have to make a choice that no matter how much he is pressure and ostracized he would stick to his higher principles and not be swayed by the temporary lure of immediate gratification. More specifically, the more clarity around what you want to be the better choices you can make to get there. It is when you are unclear about what you want that you tend to allow others to influence the decisions for your life that are better served when you make your own choices.

Try it and let me know how it works out for you.

In order to better serve you, please take a moment to fill out the one question survey on the right-hand column.

Go to http://www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com/ and discover how Your True Heart's Desire can transform your life.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What You Can Do to Find Your Path to Success.

You’ve heard the term to take the path of least resistance. There is a reason for that. It’s the easiest and simplest way as evidenced through nature.

Water takes the path of least resistance. A river flows through mountains, hills and valleys and all the while finding the easiest way to flow. If there are hills and rocks in the way it goes around it. And another thing about rivers, there is a part of it that has a groove or channel where the water flows faster.

What has this all got to do with you? Picture yourself as a river. When you are using all your talents and strengths to your best ability that is when you are in your groove. That is when you flow. Ever have a time in your life when you were in the zone, hitting on all cylinders? If you look back you were likely not only using your talents and strengths but doing what you love to do. Wouldn’t you like to get that feeling back? You can.

Often times we get distracted by what other people are doing, wishing and hoping we were as good as they are. Instead you should be concentrating on what makes you unique and special. What attributes do you have that could be put to better use? If you want to get back in the zone, you need to do what you do best. It’s that simple. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. They are in there own river. Your river flows in a different direction and in order to get it to flow effortlessly you need to take the path of least resistance by using all the resources you possess.

Don’t know what they are? I can help you with that. Check out “Discover How Smart You REALLY Are and Boost Your Level of Success or Discover Your Five Strengths and Boost Your Level of Success” at www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Hey, Did You Read the Sign?

Signs are all over the place. I’m not talking about the advertisement or freeway signs; I’m talking about the signs that are meant especially for you. You know, when you’re on your cell phone while you’re driving and ran through a red light or you reached to put in a different CD and almost hit the car in front of you. These are all signs. The sign is you should pay attention. The next time you might not be so lucky.

There are other signs that you might be getting but aren’t paying attention to. I’ll give you a personal example. In high school I always got A’s in speech class. When I went onto college I also aced speech class. I never gave this much thought or credit. Quite a few years later I took a facilitator course through work. For three days I listened attentively and took notes. On the last day we each had to give a presentation. After I finished mine the other students gave me feedback. They were shocked that I was so enthusiastic and full of energy because while as a student I was very quiet. My presentation was well thought out, organized and presently very professionally. I basically “turned on” when I got in front of a group. I realized much later that I received basically the same type of feedback when I interviewed for a position. They were shocked because I was bubbly, as they put it, and yet when it came to answering a question I was very knowledgeable about the subject. For years now I have been a member of Toastmasters International and I get the same kind of comments. I have very natural expressions and mannerisms. I exude enthusiasm and energy when I speak and that I’m knowledgeable in what I speak about.

The point with all this is that I was given signs of my ability to speak and express myself throughout my life but I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t give it the credit it deserved.

My question to you is there signs that you have been given that you haven’t been paying attention to?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Life isn’t fair. Who said it was supposed to be?

It just doesn’t seem fair that your sister is better looking than you

It doesn’t seem fair that you brother is smarter than you, or is he?

Life isn’t fair. Who said it was supposed to be? In fact, it is not about being fair. It’s about doing the best with what you have. However, sometimes people are so focused on what others have that they don’t see the fine qualities that they possess.

If they did they’d realize that even though their sister is better looking and their brother is really smart- they have different qualities that the other two aren’t as gifted in. It could be that they have the ability to connect with others in a short about of time. Or that they have been blessed with the ability to speak well, to use well crafted words to illicit the response and emotion that they intended. These aren’t things that are measures in educational system and yet they are a tremendous asset.

A case or push needs to be done to address this omission of these under looked talents that people posses. Credit needs to be given to those who are people, nature, body, verbal, emotional, social, picture and music smart instead of basing someone’s intelligence strictly on logic which is evident in the sciences. Life isn’t just about science, math, and reading. Don’t get me wrong, these are all important. However, what about all the people who aren’t talented in those subjects? They go through the school system believing that they won’t be successful just because they didn’t excel in the core subjects. They aren’t failures. What about building up their self esteem by giving them credit for what they are talented in?

Everyone is talented in something. Sometimes you have to look deeper to figure out where you stand out. Ask yourself which of the intelligences you excel in. Pinpoint exactly what it is that makes that great. Figure out how you can you that to your advantage. Lastly, design your life around what you are naturally gifted in.

If you’d like to discover what your strengths or talents are you can visit my website at www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com and check out “Discover How Smart You REALLY Are and Boost Your Level of Success or Discover Your Five Strengths and Boost Your Level of Success.”

Sunday, July 11, 2010

What is the Avatar Message?

If you listen closely to the movie you could to with any number of messages. Let’s see, there is the disregard and disrespect of another person’s way of life, how there are more important things than the possession of things, or your way isn’t always the right or best way. There probably are more but the one I connected with and had the most impact was the message that they were all connected. The trees, animals, plant life and environment were all connected through the source and that source was Eywa.

Eywa to me is like Mother Nature here. She is always in perfect harmony and that is what they said Eywa did – keep everything in balance, harmony. But the interesting part is that they were physically connected. In the movie they used colors and the cord receptors from the Na’vi natives to the animal to illustrate the point. Through this connection the Na’vi could feel the animal and become one with it. Everything has a life force, not human, but still a life force.

This is interesting because here on earth everything has a life force too. Everything is energy but in a different form. Energy never disappears, it just changes form. It always exists. The molecular structure of a rock or wood has movement (energy) within it but at a very slow rate. The same goes for the chair you’re sitting on and the pen you hold in your hand. Plant life also has molecular movement but it moves quite a bit faster. The interior of a human being has an even faster energy movement and yet to the naked eye it appears as if all these things are motionless.

It says in the Bible that we were formed from dust and from dust we shall return. The same goes for all living things; animals, plant life, even water recycles.

How we here on earth are connected is evidence through the Butterfly Effect which basically states that even one butterfly can have an effect on our world even though it’s thousands of miles away. You can read more about this effect by doing a search for Butterfly Effect on the internet.

We humans affect water. All you have to do look into the work of Masaru Emoto to know that our thoughts and language effects water at the molecular level as shown in the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know. But you don’t have to watch the movie just to view the crystal images that were transformed through music and language; you can watch this video and see for yourself.


What I think is interesting is since we are made up of 70% water, how is our language, the conversations we have and the music we listen to effecting our bodies? I also wonder what effect tattoos have on our bodies.

Are we also connected to our surroundings just like the Na’vi people? I’d like to know what you think after you watch the Messages in Water video.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Labor Unions Killing Business Success

Do Labor Unions serve a purpose? Yes, I believe they do because there are always some unethical and indecent business practices being done by shady and greedy employers.  Someone needs to keep them in check.

However, my issue is not with pay or benefits but with seniority.  The effort the unions will go to in order to guarantee senior employees the prime positions is in essence damaging the very business that is employing them. Not all union contracts are set up this way but some are and those are the ones I'm addressing.

Let me explain.  I've worked for an organization that by contract has to guarantee that the senior employees have a position even though a junior employee is by all accounts better equipped to do the job.

In the work that I do, it's all about using the right person for the right job. Seniority plays no part when trying to match the most qualified person for a position. What sense does it make to place an employee who isn't a people person in front of customers while making the employee who is great with people do back room duties?  Any reasonable employer would want to place the most qualified person in the customer service position, by that I don't mean senior person, I mean the person who has the social intelligence and disposition to work well with customers. What has seniority got to do with that?

You've probably experienced yourself situations where the person behind the counter should really find another line of work because working with people isn't their forte.  The smile isn't there. Without saying it, the customer service person leaves you with the impression that you're bothering them and that they'd rather be doing something else. Well then, go do something else that doesn't involve interacting with people.

What it really is saying is that the union values their members over the customers and the long term survival of the organization that is employing them. When you value seniority over the best qualified candidate, it becomes politically motivated over common sense. The contracts need to value the individual talents a person has to offer over seniority, when that happens, you end up with everyone giving their best. It's the American way.

I can understand an employee wanting some security in their job, however when employees realize that they can't "get by" by using the number of years of service then the customer wins. It increases the organizations bottom line and ultimately leads to retaining employees.  In the long run it makes good business sense.

What say you?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Obama Power - Is it too much or too little

Power gets a bad rap and in some cases rightly so. How does that happen?  It gets a bad rap when a person who is entrusted with power abuses it. I'm not talking about just the President here but anyone who is in a high level position whether it be in government or the CEO of a company.

Let's face it, these are positions that few people want because they require so much responsibility, time, and effort. And yet for a few, they are attracted to the very things that scare others off.

The world needs people who are willing, and hopefully able, to take charge in order to get things done. And when things need to get done, there isn't much room for debate and discussion. Take for instance a commander in the military, when lives are on the line it's do as I say immediately without question. Being a leader means taking charge of the situation by gathering the necessary information to make an informed decision, it means putting the right people in place to get the job done, following up to make sure it's completed right and finally taking full responsibility for its success as well as its failure.

So what qualities would a person have to be attracted to a power position? In the Core Passion TM Profile, the Passion Power is defined as the CEO, General and Authority. There is a gift in having the passion Power and that is the ability to size up any situation and create a plan for completion. The person has the ability to organize and see the larger picture as well as small details. He also has the strength and courage to undertake large projects, financial risks and the management of large organizations.

Of course the greater the gift of Power the greater the challenge that goes with it. The challenges that the passion of power presents is to resist being consumed by the acquisition of wealth and well as using your executive abilities without ordering, intimidating, and dominating people.

So what would this person look like? It is seen as a need to control your environment and surroundings. He demands to be in control and will not settle for anything less. His creed is truth, honesty, and results.  He is an organizer and an administrator.  He has strong principles and a sense of order.  His friends tend to be successful business professionals with whom he can share and from whom he can learn.  He is self-confident and implements his ideas rather abruptly.  He's comfortable in the role of advisor or leader.  He is a rather strict authoritative figure and become defensive if challenged.

As with all passions (everyone has 12 core passions) he is weaving in and out of his gift and challenge of it. So what does it look like when he's in his gift? He would be assertive, problem-solver, good-at-management, and achieve excellence. When he's in the challenge of it, he could swing anywhere from being abusive, biased, egotistical, indifferent, apathetic, poor judgement, misdirect, to oblivious.

So is Obama power to much or too little? You just read what the passion of power looks and sounds like. You can make the decision for yourself. Personally since I know all 12 Core Passions, I would say his power is one of his top passions but not his strongest. People who are liberal tend to have more of the passion of compassion and in Obama's case I would say the passion of Inspiration and Recognition are what motivates him.

You can check out my website if you would like to learn more about your own 12 Core Passions TM.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Nurses Strike - Not Valued in Workplace

It's sad to see people get taken advantage of in any shape of form but to see it done publicly by a  business is particularly disturbing.

The 12,000 strong nurse's union are fighting to keep the concessions that they received  from the last contract intact. However, the hospital's want to take it all away and replace it with .... nothing. Apparently it is more important to give the CEO a million dollar bonus than it is to provide a better nurse to patient ratio.  How many nurses do you think could have been added to provide better care for the patients with a million dollars?

For those of you who haven't been getting the whole story, one of the issues the nurse's would like to see is better patient care. They get stressed out when they have too many patients to cover and feel like they're not providing the best of care. Like anyone who cares about what they do, they want to provide the best care and yet feel strapped by the constraints of their employers. Who really does the bulk of the work at a hospital, the nurses of course. And yet, this is the area that they want to cut. What is it really saying?  It's saying that they're not valuable, which is nonsense. A patient has more contact with the nurses than they do with anyone else.

When they did strike for a day, what the public doesn't know is that some nurses were escorted out of the building before they could finish up the charts for their patients. There were nurses who were in the middle of giving meds to patients. This is scary. How would the replacements know where to start if the charts aren't kept up. What else came out of the strike is that quite a few of the replacements were fresh from nursing school and didn't know how to do some of the jobs that they were replacing and yet they were getting paid twice as much as the regular nurses.

What is sad is that nurses, as a whole, are compassionate people that are being taken advantage of because of their caring nature. Being of service in a meaningful way is what motivates them to care for others. Here we have a group of people who are putting the patient first and yet the hospitals are saying it's all about pay and benefits. The media has picked up on this publicity stunt instead of investigating the real issues. I know this to be true because I have relatives and friends who are nurses.

In the end it will be the future patients that will suffer,  it could be you, it could be me, if the hospitals don't listen to the nurses. They REALLY know what's going on because they're actually doing it every day instead of sitting behind a desk pushing a pencil.

I don't know about you, but when it comes to my health I prefer to listen to the professionals and not management. If the nurses say they can only handle no more than two patients per nurse in ICU,  I think they know what they're talking about.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

What do George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Elizabeth Taylor have in common?

No they weren’t all in a movie together. They all donate their time, money, and energy to global issues.

Have you ever noticed that celebrities, in general, are very compassionate people?

Within the 12 Core Passions that everyone possess there is compassion. Unlike the passion Service that seeks to serve others on a community level, Compassion is the strong desire to serve on a global level. It shows up in areas like world hunger, saving the rainforests and environmental issues.

Typically a person will take care of themselves before they take care of others. That means when they are financially stable they have no problem helping others. However, for someone who rates high in Compassion that is not a factor. They will give of themselves freely and to others before themselves. For them there is a driving force that compels them to serve. It does something for them. They get something out of it. The reward may be a simple thank you, a smile on someone’s face, or a tender embrace.

The rest of us need a little push, or to say it better, we need to be inspired to serve. Everyone has these buttons that can be pushed to ignite them to action. The secret is in knowing what to say or do to ignite the action that you seek.

If you would like to learn more about what is the driving forces within you, check out my web site at www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I Serve No One!

That sounds rather cold but it’s closer to the truth than you might think. The tag line would be-unless I want to.

On a deep level everyone wants to make a contribution, leave their mark to society in some shape or form. So why doesn’t that just naturally happen? Why is it that groups and causes can ask for assistance but you don’t jump at the chance to help out?

The reason is simple. It doesn’t do anything for you. In order for you to want to be of service it not only has to be a cause that you’re passionate about, but be in the form of service that you want to give. The service could be hands on, coordinating, planning or handling the finances. Whatever you are best at is what will give you pleasure because then you know you gave your best. It is ONLY in that sequence of events that you will truly feel like you have contributed from your heart.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Who Said Life is Fair?

Life isn't fair. I know that. Why should it be?

It doesn't seem fair when you compare your siblings to your self. Why did your brother get the athletic ability AND the book smarts and you didn't?  Why did your sister get the hot body while you struggle to find clothes to fit you? It doesn't seem fair.

To you it isn't.  We each come here with our own set of gifts and challenges. You may not have received the great body like your sister but then you won't have the challenge she has of having others notice how intelligent she is. You may not have the athletic ability and book smarts of your brother but then you won't have the challenge of deciding on which area to pursue.

You see we all come here with talents that are meant to be used, however, we may have a hard time recognizing them because either we are so busy comparing our self to others we don't notice our own worth, they come easily to us, or they are not defined by the educational system and are overlooked.

For example you may have heard someone say that someone is a people person.  What does that mean? Are they better at initial contacts or maintaining relationships? Does it mean that the person has very good people skills such as introductions, phone etiquette, and pleasantries?  These are all areas that an employer looking for a receptionist would be looking for.  As you can see, none of this is addressed in the educational system and yet it may be your unique talent. It is a talent. There are some people who absolutely abhor dealing with the public and those who thrive in it. Which one are you?

Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. What works for you? What combination of talents do you have that you can spin your way? Best of luck.

If you would like more information on defining your talents, please visit my web site at www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

How Honey Works Better Than Vinegar

You've heard the saying, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." It is so true. Sometimes it takes longer than others but by persistently using your sweet stuff  it will wear the other person down.  It goes along with turning the other cheek. I don't know if it's through your demeanor that you demonstrate how people should act or that the other person starts to feel bad about himself for acting a certain way, all I know is that it works.

It is amazing how much we bring upon our self just by how we project our self to others. We may think our actions and language are okay but others may instead take offense or be turned off by what we do. We attract what we already are or want to be.  It is the Law of Attraction.

For example, you could take the same sentence but emphasize a different word and change the meaning of the sentence. Read the sentence below but change your inflection for the word highlighted.

I don't want to go there.
I don't want to go there.
I don't want to go there.

When you factor in the voice, face and body movements, it can change the meaning of the sentence even more. This is what actors do. They work with the script to create the intended meaning of the piece.  With each of one of these sample sentences you project a different meaning and therefore a different response. 

If you want to catch more flies, you need to be mindful of how you are presenting yourself to others by how you speak, through your body language, and the choice of words you use.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Pinch Me. This is too Good to be True.

Don't sabotage your success. Stick with what works.

What do I mean by that? Simple. When things seem to be going your way almost effortlessly, don't stop and wonder why. Don't think that this must be too good to be true and that it must be coming to end pretty soon. If you keep thinking like that, it will, you will stop the flow.  Keep going. It's a sign that your in your gifts.  You know what I mean, what your good at.

Often times when things go well a person will start to think that it's too good to be true or that it's a fluke. However, take notice. If you look at all that you're doing, saying, and being in the world, you will realize that you are doing all the things that you are naturally good at.

People think that in order to be a success that it is has to be work, it must be hard and difficult. The most successful people find that it comes to them effortlessly and they are able to duplicate it over and over. Why?  They know what their strengths are. They don't over analyze what they are doing. They just stick with what they do best and find someone or something else to do the rest.

When you get yourself in the flow of what YOU do best, they you to can find yourself on Easy Street.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

7 Figure Income and NOT Doing What Warms Her Heart

Awhile back I was listening to one of the many teleseminars I listen to when the presenter made a comment that really floored me.

She is a person who helps others increase their level of income. In fact, she recently had jumped from a 6 figure income to a 7 figure income. She went onto say how this level of income can dramatically change your life so that eventually you can do what you came here to do.  Basically what you really want to do deep down in your soul.

Let me get this straight. She's making a 7 figure income and she isn't even doing what would really give her the most pleasure, joy and happiness.

How is that possible?  I'll tell you how. She has not only been getting by by using her greatest talents, she is excelling at them. AMAZING. I can relate. I've been doing the same thing only not to the level of success she has done it. Imagine though if she were not only using her talents to the best ability, but that she was involved in the field that would really give her the most satisfaction. How great that would be!

By aligning what your naturally gifted in with your passionate interest, you can find the bliss that would really warm your heart and put a skip in your step.