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Monday, May 30, 2016

Sticks and Stones


Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me.
We’ve all heard that phrase and for decades I believed it until I took a good look at some of the things that have happened to me and those around me and realized, words DO hurt.

In high school I was bullied by a couple of girls. I knew what they were doing and I wasn’t about to let them get the best of me.  I held my ground which I think ticked them off even more. I didn’t fight back; I just ignored them and did what I wanted. Intelligently and emotionally I knew their game however looking back it really did affect me. It started to wear down my self confidence without consciously being aware of it. I didn’t try to be my best in sports as I had in the past. It definitely changed me even though on the outside I appeared to be the same person.

Words really do hurt.

There have been friends and relatives throughout my life who also recall times when someone has said mean things to them. It obviously still affects them because they bring it up as if it happened yesterday. Of course now with my expanded view of life I advise them to forgive and forget. You need to get over it and move on. You’re not the same person you were then. You’ve grown past all that.

Words don’t hurt me anymore because as I’ve matured I’ve become even more emotionally confident about who I am. If someone was to say something bad about me I know it’s only a reflection of their own insecurities and lack of maturity and compassion for others. The positive lesson I learned out of my experience is that I decided I was never going to let someone stop me from being who I am.

Unfortunately the group cutting words hurt the most is our young. They don’t have that broader view of life to understand the complexities of how humans work. No matter how much I explain this to my teenage daughter, even though she comprehends and understands it, she can get emotionally upset about the whole drama and emotional insecurities of her classmates. I guess it’s just the experiences we all have to go through to finally come into our own Beingness.


Sticks and stones can physically harm us but the scars heal unlike the emotional scars from cutting words which can linger an entire life time. Forgiveness is the greatest love of all. Acknowledge the event, accept it, learn from it and then move on. It’s over. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Turn That Music Down. I Can’t Hear Myself Think

Turn That Music Down. I Can’t Hear Myself Think

Did your parents ever say that to you?  Mine did.  I never understood what they were talking about back then but I do now.

What is it about a kid’s brain that they can take so much in at one time and still want more? Some kids insist that they need to have the TV on or be listening to music otherwise they can’t get their homework done.  Sometimes I think it’s because they need to keep one part of their brain occupied so they can concentrate on the task at hand.  Their brain is like a sponge therefore they have this enormous capacity to take in information without being consciously aware of it.  We all have this capacity but it’s much greater when we’re younger.

So what happens as we age?  I believe we still have this capacity and desire to take in information however as we age we’re not looking “out there” for the answers so much as we’re trying to connect with our higher self.  Instead of looking for an answer “out there” we trust our own instincts either through experience or knowingness that has served us well in the past.

I’m sure there have been times when you’ve been in your vehicle where either the traffic or weather got so bad that the first thing you reached for is to turn off any noise around you.  You turn off the radio, let go of the phone or tell the occupants to be quiet so you can think.  Perhaps what you’re really saying is that you need it quiet so that you can listen to your inner guide.  It’s saying ‘I know what to do but I can’t hear it with all this commotion going on’.


This is an example of listening to your inner voice.  The great thing is that it’s always there for you.  You just need to give it a platform to be heard. So yeah, I do say, “Turn that music down. I can’t hear myself think” and it’s okay if you do it too. 

Monday, May 9, 2016

You Don’t Need Everyone Who Comes into Your Life


You Don’t Need Everyone Who Comes into Your Life


It seems people think the people who come into their lives are permanent fixtures, not so. Sometimes certain people are in your life for you to learn something like how to stand up for yourself, how to forgive or to teach you to move onto your next lesson but it doesn’t mean they stay forever. You CAN let them go.

For example you likely don’t hang around the people you did when you were in elementary, high school, college or even from a previous job. You probably still like your former classmates and coworkers but there’s an understanding that each of us grows into who we are and thereby need to move on. Life continues to give you opportunities to grow and you need to take them.

People generally understand this unwritten social fact of life but it seems when we get involved in our relationships we can tend to hang onto a person longer than what is necessary. It could be a romantic relationship or a friendship that’s run its course but due to emotional attachment and the pain it would cause to dissolve it, we hang on. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t like, respect and love the person, it’s just they’re holding you back from being who you were born to be. In some cases it’s you holding on because you’re afraid to move on.

What are the signs that it’s time to move on? Actually it’s easier to ask yourself if the person brings value to your life.

The people you want to keep in your life are the ones who show up in actions and words to support you no matter where that will take you even if that means you moving away. If you find yourself in a one-way relationship it’s time to evaluate the significance of this person being in your life. Does the person bring value to your life? It doesn’t necessarily mean you permanently remove this person from your life but rather their statue of importance becomes an acquaintance rather than a close friend.

The bottom line is that you don’t need everyone who comes into your life. Trust your instinct on this one. It’s always right.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Nobody is Perfect


Nobody’s Perfect

Guess again.  Don’t strain yourself on this one because it’s not a “who” that’s perfect but a “what”.  What’s perfect, nature?

It may teeter a bit one way or another but it’s always striving to remain in perfect harmony.  It may not appear that way to us humans but nature has been doing fine long before we arrived.  All the natural resources that existed eons ago are still here. We can learn a lot from nature.

Species come and go naturally on their own without any interference from humans.  Some species evolve, adapt, and expand like the various types of big cats and bears while others disappear like the dinosaurs.  The same can be said for the various types of indigenous people and cultures that we now know existed.

We live in a world of constant change.  As a human race we can learn to adapt and evolve or we will also become extinct.  That’s not to say that we’ll all die but rather our cultures and way of life will no longer look the same tomorrow as it does today, but then nothing ever does stay the same does it?

Is that bad? No. Who’d want to stay the same anyway?  That’s boring.  It’s going to change with or without your cooperation so you might as well get over it and go with the flow.  Instead of viewing change as the enemy view it as an adventure with the attitude, “I wonder what life has in store for me today.”

The whole world is in chaos right now.  There are still some adjustments that need to be made before the pendulum can swing back and find its own harmony again. Out of chaos comes order.  Unfortunately, we are still in the chaos stage. Part of the reason is that change is being forced on people instead of letting it evolve naturally like nature.

Action Step:  If you look at our own life and compare it to one, three or five years ago, where are you on the pendulum swing?  Are you still swinging more to chaos or do you feel you’re on the back swing and you’re finally adjusting to a new order? Are you getting the swing of things? Pun intended. Take comfort that order is on the way and like nature we’re also striving for harmony.