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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What would you rather give more energy to?

That's a good question. How often have you stopped to ask yourself if you're doing what you really want to do? Am I putting my energy into finishing the project I started or do I keep putting it off to do other daily stuff? And it is really just stuff. Keeping busy but not getting anywhere. Or, am I creating the life I want or going with the flow? I have a sign on my monitor that says, “Are you being productive or just staying busy” to remind myself not to wonder. I must admit sometimes as I’m wondering I look up, read it, and get myself back on track again. Perhaps you need a little reminder like that too.

Figure out what you rather give your energy to and then focus your energy there, spending time with your family doing things or working an extra hour or two. It's basically finding what does it for you. What makes your day? As the saying goes, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” Put your energy there and you will be a much happier person. Besides, the world could use more happy people.

Monday, January 20, 2014

What’s Wrong with Being a Pollyanna?

Nothing! There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic. That is pure madness. It is reported that more than 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means that our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn't being positive more realistic than being negative?

If you think about it, the important issue is not which is more realistic, but rather, "Why be miserable when you can be happy?" If being a Pollyanna creates a happier world for you and those around you, why hesitate for one more moment?

Nothing is realistic or unrealistic-there is only what we think about any given situation. We create our own reality. What does all this tell you? STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power.... and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.

So, why don't people think more positively? People don't understand what being a positive thinker requires. It takes a special commitment and requires a great deal of practice. And then once you get it all down perfectly, a maintenance program is a must. If you don't practice, you lose the skill. This is the point most people don't seem to understand.
(This excerpt is from: "Feel the fear and do it anyway", by Susan Jeffers, PHD.  It’s a very good read)

So how do you stay positive? Here are some of my suggestions.

1.    Hang around positive people

2.    Surround yourself with what astatically makes you feel good like candles, music, fresh air etc.

3.    Read books that inspire you to take action or uplift your spirit

4.    Listen to uplifting CD’s

5.    Watch TV shows that will keep or put you in a good mood

6.    Do the activity that puts you in a good mood like biking, walking, playing with your children etc.

7.    If there is a place that makes you feel good go there often (ocean, nature park, church)

These are just a few suggestions. Notice I didn’t mention what you shouldn’t do but to focus on what you should do. Go for it. What have you got to lose?

Friday, January 17, 2014

Why is This Happening to me?

Isn't that what we say when something isn't going right? My horoscope said the other day that basically everything was going as it should and that I should not be surprised by this. Everything was happening for me instead of to me and if I really looked at my life, this is how it's always been. This got me to thinking about the wording of that sentence, for me instead of to me.

"For me" says this is for my benefit no matter what situation I may be in. It's something I need to learn so that I can move forward with my own personal growth. Also, by using the word "for" it makes it sound like a gift as in the universe is giving me this obstacle because it wants me to benefit from the ordeal.

It's all a matter of perception when an ordeal, situation, or obstacle is thrust upon you. How will you react to it? Get angry, cry, or blame someone else. What can you do to control it? You can only control your reaction to it. Therefore take it for what it is, a learning experience. You see, if you already learned from it, it wouldn't have happened. The question to ask yourself then is, "What can I learn from this? What can I take away from this experience to ensure that it doesn't happen again?

To ask why something is happening to you is to take the role of the victim and then you're headed down the road of dome and gloom and that's not a pretty place to go. No one likes to go there but somehow at times we find ourselves at the pity party. It's a boring party. The only other guests are just like you wallowing in their own despair. Get out while you can by taking ownership of your life by asking what you can learn from life's hurdles. Once you realize that by taking responsibility for your life's ups and downs, then you will become an empowered individual. It's all happening for your benefit and that goes for all the good stuff too.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

If you think you can, you can

If you think you can’t, you can’t. You’re right either way.

One of the biggest fears that keep us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing - to starve. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life a delicious feast.

The problem is that we have been taught "Be careful! You might make the wrong decision. A wrong decision! Oh no! What will that deprive me of? Closely tied to this is our panic over making mistakes. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Yet, when we become uncomfortable, that is when we're growing.

I have a saying posted in my home about worrying that states, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." There really is nothing to lose, only something to gain, whatever the choices you make or actions you take in life.
All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it. You can actually shift your thinking in such a way as to make a wrong decision or mistake impossibility. It's not an obstacle, it's a learning experience. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this so that the next time it won't happen." There are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities -despite the outcome. Remember that underlying all our fears is a lack of trust in self. Say to yourself, "I can do this."

Monday, January 6, 2014

Everything’s Connected

So when you do or say something it affects others. For example sometimes an employee will call in sick just in spite because he got ticked off at someone or something in the company. His mind set is that they’ve been hurt in some way and now the company will have to pay. However in reality it affects his co-workers more than anyone else along with their customers and then ultimately the business. The co-worker in return is ticked off because now they have to pick up the slack and the “sick” individual loses their respect.  What does this accomplish?

The main point being is your actions and words do have a ripple effect on your surroundings whether you’re aware of it or not. Therefore it’s important to be conscious of what you say and do. Everything is connected.

The flip side to that is when you’re feeling down and you come across someone who says a kind word or does a kind gesture, you pick up their positive energy and start to feel better. You begin to feel a bit lighter and happier. If it’s not positive energy your best bet is to excuse yourself and make like a tree and leave.

Lesson- Everything is connected and you’re always sending out a ripple effect. Send out good waves.

Thursday, January 2, 2014


Counting your blessings is the same thing as being grateful. The tricky part is that even the most devastating situation can actually be a blessing in disguise.

I know of a couple where the husband became very ill and the wife had to take time off work to care for him. They both had busy lives and this definitely were an interruption. She was at a crossroad. She was in charge of a large project at work that she created and wanted to see it to completion but she also knew she needed to help her husband.  It just wasn’t a good time. When is it ever a “good” time? With much planning, she learned to let go and have others finish her work so she could focus on her husband’s health.

Months passed and she began to feel a renewed pleasure in the simple things like watching the wildlife out their bay window as they drank their morning coffee and snuggling up under a blanket as they reminisced in front of the fire. A squeeze of the hand, a peek on the cheek brought such pleasure. Then one day he was gone. She had no regrets because she was able to experience the love they had on a very intimate level the last few months of his life.

Life goes on and so did she but with an inner peace and joy she had never known before. Every encounter and friendship meant more to her now. Although her husband’s passing was sad, she was grateful for the last few months of uninterrupted quality time with him.

It was a blessing in disguise.