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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Let’s Dance

In relationships if a person gives 50% of themselves and then the other person gives 50%, what are you getting, Fifty percent? People think that if they give 50% and then the other person gives 50% they'll end up with 100%, but it doesn't work that way. You get what you give. What if you gave 100% of yourself and the other person gave 100%? Imagine the possibilities of a relationship working at 100%. Look at how much more you're getting. Hindered percent commitment to making it whatever you want to make it. Are you giving all of yourself or are you holding back. If you are holding back, what makes you hold back? Fear of being hurt, betrayed, used, or a lack of trust. What is it about the other person or relationship you can't count on?

A relationship is a dance. One leads and one follows and then the roles switch. The leader needs to look out for the other person, to direct them in such a way so no one is stepping on the other person's toes. On the other hand, the follower needs to trust that the leader is going to look out for them both, notice I said both, and guide them through the blind spots. When they are in sync even the slightest movement by the leader and the follower is right there. It is a dance. Are you in sync and if not, what can you do to make it so?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Where Attention Goes Energy Flows

Isn't that so true? It doesn't matter what events may be happening in your life, if you see an opportunity for something you want, boom you’re on it, and everything else becomes secondary, link that now on a global scale. Where attention goes energy flows. What is happening right now in your world, poverty, economy, jobs, and war? Where is the attention?

In physics the Law of Attraction states that positive attracts positive while negative attracts negative. Basically, we get what we give. If your attention and thus energy is focused on war then that is what you are going to get more of, however if your attention is focused on peace that that is what you'll get. Currently the media has been focusing on a recession. What happens then? People start to hold onto their money expecting the worse thereby taking more money out of the economy. What do they get more of, a recession? There is less money flow. What do you want in your life and is it positive or negative? If you want peace, be peaceful. If you want more money, work on attracting it by learning from the people who have it. The same goes for the negative aspects in your life. If you're hanging around people who are trouble, then eventually you will attract that to your life even if you consciously don't want it. It's sad to say but its guilt by association. Assumptions will be made and then comes the self-fulfilling prophecy that, "'I might was well do it anyway because that's what people expect". It's your choice; attract the positive or the negative. Think of the saying, "The poor get poorer while the rich get richer". Maybe that is what they attract.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

What Condition is Your Condition in?

Ah...unconditional love. "Only a face a mother could love". I'm sure you've heard that one. What would it feel like to have unconditional love? Most mothers and father would fall into that category. But how do you get that kind of love outside of the parent/child relationship? The following is part of an article I found from Jack Zwissig that says it better than I could.

Conditional love is not really love. When we love conditionally what we are really saying is "I will care about you ONLY if you do this, and if you don't, then I will withdraw my love". Some of our harshest conditions come from the times when people have withdrawn love from us. At those moments, we learned early because we hurt so deeply. Unfortunately, we often learn that we are unlovable. We tell ourselves, "I don't ever want to be hurt like that again. If love is conditional like that, I'll just do my best to live without it.” At those painful times, we tend to make decisions and form beliefs very quickly. Some of those beliefs can be very damaging. They create a survival game, a game of scarcity that disempowers our relationships. We tuck away those beliefs and to about our lives without realizing that those beliefs really control us. They manifest themselves when the time comes. Your heart wants to go for it but the brain is telling you you'll be rejected, hurt, or not worthy, etc.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit." - Emmanuel Teney

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Hard Times Pass Just Like the Good Ones Do

This is a lyric from one of Sugarland's songs and it fits so nicely into what your frame of mind is. Read it again. Often times a person will look at an event/situation in their life as a hard time compared to a normal time. However, you also have really good times when things are just clicking. You're at the top of your game. You’re in the zone. That time passes too.

An analogy I was told is to look at the hard times as clouds passing through. Some are big and some are small. When you realize that that is all it is, it becomes easier to handle it and therefore focus on the sunshine just up ahead. It could be a business venture that has hit a bump on its road to success or a relationship area that needs to be worked out. Take it for what it is, a cloud passing through.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It is What it is

The event stays neutral. You bring the meaning to it. What that means is that the event doesn't care if you are happy, sad, angry, upset, content, or dissatisfied. It is what it is, an event. Whatever else that is brought to it, like the meaning and emotion, is what you brought to it. Take for example three people getting cut off in traffic by the same driver. Driver one is furious that such an idiot was given a license and lets him know it by shouting back and giving a few hand gestures. Driver two experiences the same thing and is upset because it almost caused an accident. He says to himself that that driver was rude and a danger to others. Driver three says to herself, "He must be in hurry to get somewhere." and shrugs it off that that is how some people are. They don't care about anyone else but themselves, same event but different reactions.
What makes one person upset while another person just shrugs it off. Mmm. It is what you make of it. The event only becomes an emotional outburst if you let it become one. NO ONE causes YOU to become angry or upset but yourself. If you do get upset, it is usually something else within you that is causing it to become something more than it is. When you do find yourself in a situation that is upsetting for you, check in with yourself, and ask yourself what is really going on here. Take out what you're feeling at the moment and form an objective view. Ask yourself, "What is the event here” because everything else after that is what you brought to it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Make it a Great Day. The Choice is Yours

You have the power to decide what kind of day, week, or hour it is going to be, how, by your thoughts. You make that decision every moment of every day if you're going to allow something to ruin your mood. When something doesn't go as you planned do you sulk or worse yet, try to bring others into your doom and gloom. The saying goes that birds of a feather flock together and being in the negative is the same thing. If you didn't have an audience, would you continue on your path of complaint, most likely not? While in the negative you seek others who will buy into your story about how things aren't working out for you. The good news is that you can change and it's all up to you. Take responsibility and own the power that is within you. You decide what effect an event is going to have on you. Don't let the circumstance own you. You own it. You decide. You make the conscious choice when something doesn't go right to immediately figure out what you learned from it and then put it where it belongs, in the past. Only then can you clear your mind and forge ahead with a clear open mind and make it a great day no matter what happened.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Visualization + Action = Manifestation

"I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich." -- Jim Carrey

Visualize the life you want but don't stop there. Pay attention to divine guidance as it directs you to your dream and then don't stop there either. Say YES to its call. And then take action.

That's how you create the life you want.

Keep visualizing, listening and acting.

It'll take you places!