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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Coming from a Mindset of Love

Recently I was reminded how my upbringing has shaped my life. I was raised with the philosophy that I should treat others as I wish to be treated and I got to thinking about this on a deeper level and what it means to me.

For me it means I should love others because that’s what I want for myself.  I should forgive others for their mistakes because I would want to be forgiven so that I could make amends. It would free my spirit. In short, it means to come from a place of love.

Often times it’s easy to become upset about news and events but then if you take a step back and come from a mind set of love which encompasses many possibilities, the picture you’ve painted as reality changes. A new perceptive emerges, an awakening.

It’s not always easy to stay in that space. I can only image how Jesus, Gandhi and Mother Teresa did it.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Designed to Love

Love is our true nature. We can’t help it. We’re designed to love.

Of course the first thing that comes to mind is romantic love but that is such a small percentage of the love that is shown daily by the people you come in contact with.

Sure there are plenty of signs of love between people you know like hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a gentle rub on the shoulder or arm, but there are little signs of “I love you” as a fellow human being all over the place.


1)   Waving a pedestrian across the street while you wait, (I love you).

2)   Opening a door or holding the door open for the next person, (I love you).

3)   Saying “Hi” to the stranger who crosses your path while you’re on a stroll through the neighborhood, (I love you).

4)   Telling your customer to have a great day, (I love you).

5)   Mowing your neighbor’s lawn because their lawn mower is broke, (I love you).

These are just a sample of the free acts of kindness that we exhibit every day.

We do it out of kindness.  

We do it out of love for our fellow man.

We can’t help it.

It’s who we are.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Catch the Wave and Ripple

A ripple effect is just what you think it is it goes on and on. Like the ripple effect of a wave of water, it can be huge like in the ocean wave or smaller like when something is dropped in some water. I like the second description better because when that happens it spreads all out from around the point of entry and then keeps extending outward.

The ripple effect can be positive or negative. When you come in contact with someone in a foul mood that person can affect the atmosphere of the entire area. For example, the leader of a company sets the tone for the business and it ripples through the company. I’ve had friends who realized they were getting stressed out before they even got to work. Just the thought of how their immediate boss rattled off orders put them in panic mode. That’s not good. Don’t let someone else’s garbage contaminate your brain or mood for that matter. It’s them, not you.

On the opposite end, think of the effect someone had on you by just saying "Hi" or "How's it going" with a smile. Or when someone you didn't know let you go in front of them in line. How about the times you've had a chance encounter with someone and in the course of that interaction you both got a chuckle out of something. Doesn't that change your mood? Suddenly the muck that was running around in your brain has disappeared. You're in a different place, mentally. All someone has to do is give me an unsolicited piece of chocolate and I'm in a good mood. It's so simple. Now I'm in a better mood which causes me to be friendlier with the people I come in contact with. I then put other people in a good mood and then it keeps on multiplying - the ripple effect- its random acts of kindness. It's what makes the world a better place

Monday, July 22, 2013

Pity Love

Pity love isn’t love at all. It’s when someone stays in a relationship because they feel sorry for the person. They want to help the person but it never lasts.

What usually happens is eventually the helper leaves by choice, circumstances or force. The helper is the primary rock in the relationship whether it be financially, emotionally or both. The other person is the taker who basically gets the helper to take care of him by using excuses for his behavior or inability to earn a living. The taker is sometimes so skilled at it he makes the helper feel guilty for not understanding his plight and helping him out. It’s manipulation.

The helper is essentially a very compassionate person who sees the essence of what the taker can become and sticks with him to help him fulfill his potential.

The problem is this type of relationship isn’t love at all. It can’t be. There is no mutual respect, understanding and caring for each other. Each one needs to give 100% for a relationship to work.  It’s just a matter of time before the helper comes to the conclusion that nothing will change. You see, nothing will change unless the taker wants it to.  And why should he, he already has someone to take care of him. 

Sometimes the best way to show you love someone is to move on with your life so the other person can move on with theirs. He may have to hit rock bottom before he wakes up and realizes he’s in control of his own destiny.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What do YOU want to be when you grow up? Part 2

This can be a struggle to figure out. I envy people who know at a young age what they want to do. Why? Because then they can focus all their energy on that endeavor and not go through the bumps and bruises most of us do.

I often run across individuals who are working a job that doesn’t utilize their degree or skill. They why did they ever get the degree? Simply put, there seems to a missing link between combining a person’s interest to their talents. Perhaps the person didn’t get all the information they needed before they pursued their degree or more likely they didn’t know themselves well enough to make a better decision. To make matters worse, it’s usually the intangible variables that have a larger impact on the career than you think.  

A person is typically already interested in something they’re good at in one way or another. Even if they’re not the best at it they do bring a different talent, twist, perception to it. However they’re not always finding the best way to express that talent in a way that makes them shine. This is where I come in, I make the connection.

It’s said that you should do what you love and then find a way to make a living off it. Sadly most people, me included, do it the opposite way. I’d like to change that early on in life before someone succumbs to the rigors of making a living instead of making a life.

It would be much better to design the life you would like to have and then make your choices based on it. It’s not too late. Anyone can change the direction they’re in. Besides underneath it all we never really grow up.

When you ask yourself what you should be when you grow up what are you REALLY asking?  Are you like me asking what your purpose is or do you want to know the profession you should be in?  It’s something to think about.

If you would like to discover what would give you the most satisfaction, what you’re truly looking for, then you should take the Core Passion assessment.  You can read all about it on my website. The Core Passion ® assessment will help you uncover the fire that burns inside you that longs to explode.  You can take the assessment at any time.  It will give you the tools and language to describe what you’re looking for.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Got to be something MORE!

“I need a little less hard time. I need a little more bliss”

I love those lyrics from that Sugarland song. Who wouldn’t want more bliss? The phrase could mean just about anything, more physical, emotional, spiritual bliss. Take your pick. Enough of all the hard work, life has got to be easier than this and I’m going to get me some.

I initially thought this would be a good song for someone retiring but then I realized there are those who retire to enjoy the rest of their life while the song suggest there’s got be something more to life than just work and then play. To me it suggests searching for a deeper meaning to life.

You can get that now when you know who you are because then you know what to do.  Sadly, most people spend their time looking “out there” for their happiness when happiness resides inside.  It’s a state of mind.

When you know who you are you are able to create and design the life and work that will bring you the most satisfaction. It empowers you. It makes you come alive and that would be your “something more”.