I Confess - I’m a Junkie
I’m a feel good junkie. Guess what, so are you? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
You always want to feel good about yourself. You seek out activities that you’re already good in. If you’re not good at math you’re certainly not going to apply for a bookkeeping job or play hockey if you can’t skate. No, you’re going to choose the job or activity that you’ve already had some success in and hopefully build on it.
Deep down what you’re looking for is to feel good about yourself. Why take the chance of receiving a bad review from your boss or embarrassed because of your lack of skill on an ice rink? You consciously choose what you’re good at. It’s as if your spirit has a safe guard mechanism to protect your self esteem. Isn’t that sweet?
Even the language you use is part of this mechanism. When you hear a put-down it’s indirectly a way for the person talking to feel better about him. By drawing attention to another person’s fault it makes him look good. In extreme cases the person may adopt a poor-poor pitiful me attitude which is like him screaming for some positive feedback. Make me feel good. Make me feel good.
If you really think about the underlying reason why you do what they do, it’s to feel good about yourself. You’re a feel good junkie.