Top 10 Things about time and space

Top 10 Things about time and space – The Universe

The Top 10 things about time and space that most people seem to forget...

10. You chose to be here and you knew what you were doing.
9. There are no "tests" and you're not being judged.
8. Everyone's doing their best, with what they know.
7. You already have whatever you're looking for.
6. You are of the Divine, pure God, and so is everyone else.
5. Religion needs spirituality; spirituality does not need religion.
4. You're naturally inclined to succeed - at everything you do.
3. You happen to life, life does not happen to you.
2. Order, healing, and love belie every moment of chaos, pain, and fear.
1. Following your heart is the best way to help others.

The truth shall set you free,
The Universe

Wake Up!

Wake Up!

Have you ever found yourself driving along a familiar roadway and suddenly realize where you were and thought to yourself, “Did I remember to stop at that stop sign?”

That’s sometimes referred to letting your mind wonder, zoning out or drifting. Don’t get stressed out about it. You’re not the only one it happens to. We all tend to lose our conscious awareness of what’s going on particularly when we’re around familiar or uninteresting situations.

Let’s face it. It’s difficult to be fully conscious at every moment all day long. But it’s when you’ll discover how alive you really are because you’ll become totally engaged in the present moment.

Being conscious means to synthesize, organize and direct our thoughts from the “how” you are “what” you should be conscious of in your mind.

There are ways to determine to be more present and therefore more conscious of your surroundings.

a)   Be conscious of your thoughts. Ask yourself where you should focus your thoughts right now.

b)   Be conscious of your physical and emotional now. What is your energy level and how shall I feel right now.

c)   Your behavior speaks volumes on which you are and dictates your results in life as well as how others feel about you.

d)   Be conscious of others. Imagine what it would feel to be in their place and what kind of mindset does the other person have.

e)   What is your progress? Are you moving forward, taking the necessary actions, managing your thoughts, feelings, behaviors and relationships that will help you progress and grow?

f)    Be conscious of the present moment. It means being fully aware and attentive but at the same time you release yourself from any expectation. Be at peace with and fully present with what is.

g)   Be conscious of coincidence and intuition. There are no coincidences and trust your gut instinct. It’s your personal survival mechanism.

h)   Finally, live in wonder. Remind yourself what it was like to be a child and marvel at all the life going on around you.

Eckhart Tolle has a few books out on accessing the present moment but I’d like to recommend two others. “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie, is a really good book about learning how to see the beauty in what is. The other book, “The Precious Present” by Spencer Johnson, is a short story you can read to your children but it’s a lesson for all of us.

Let me know how these books work out for you.

“I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one who must walk through it” ~ Morpheus from The Matrix

Source: The Charge by Brendon Burchard

The Ultimate Goal

The Ultimate Goal

Is it a new house, fast car, great career, a healthy life, the love of family and friends, the respect of colleagues and the inner knowingness that you made a difference?

What if I told you it’s all of those things yet none of them?

You see the ultimate goal isn’t a person, place or thing. It’s a way of Being.

It’s such a simple word yet people will go to great lengths believing the ultimate goal is a person, place or thing only to find out that once the goal is achieved an emptiness take over and they’re off again looking for that three letter word.

It can be found anywhere if you take on a perspective of gratitude. When you are grateful for the growth you experienced with a set back as well as the happy positive experiences you’ve had you will have found the three letter word.  And what is this three letter word that everyone is seeking and yet keeps slipping away?

JOY – yep joy.

What you should be asking yourself when you go after that person, place or thing is “Will this bring me joy?”

You must ask yourself, “If I lose this person, place or thing will I still be joyful? Will I be joyful that I had this experience even if it doesn’t work out or doesn’t last?” Be in the moment with that person, place or thing. Grateful for the experience it has brought. And if and when it ends, be grateful for the experience because it let you live your life fully.

Choose to be joyful no matter what the outcome. 

Living Out Side the Box

Living Out Side the Box

I’ve never really like the term “outside the box”.  I didn’t know I was in a box but I guess that’s the point. You don’t’ know you are until you start thinking differently, viewing the same criteria but from another angle.

Now there are ways to get you to think outside the box - by accessing your right brain.  You can do something physical like run, play a sport, meditate or just take a walk.  Some people can access it by reading, painting, writing, listening to music or having an enlightened conversation.  Figure out what works for you. 

You know you’re accessing your right brain when out of the blue the solution to a problem you’ve been working on suddenly pops into your head and Ka...BAM there’s the answer. This has happened to me many times. I’ll be sitting at my desk working on a solution to a problem and not getting anywhere with it yet I can feel the answer is just eluding me.  I decide to take a break. I get up from my chair and take a few steps and ka...BAM the answer suddenly pops into my head. Four seconds ago I was stuck and now I have the answer.  Amazing!

But how do you go about living outside the box? The box represents your comfort level.  In order to live outside it, to excel and become what you know you can be, you need to have the courage, strength and perseverance to continue to grow.  And you know you’re growing and expanding your world when the thought of doing something makes you a bit scared yet excited at the same time. It’s what takes you to the next level. 

People don’t just fall into their greatness.

People don’t become fulfilled by playing it safe.

People succeed by their growth spurts, each one elevating them higher and higher to greater outcomes until one day they stop and realize it was all the little things that made them who they are.

I know living outside my own box is not always an easy thing to do. For me it’s much easier to fall back into the comfortable business aspect of my business instead of expanding my spiritual aspect.  It’s a conflict of interest.  My spirit says to speak my truth while my natural talents want me to fall back into the to-do list of running a business.

Guess who wants to win?

My spirit continues to push me to live outside my box.  I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit scary and uncomfortable but I’m getting so much more out of life. How about you?

What Makes a Good Leader?

What Makes a Good Leader?

As populations increase and cultures and people become more diverse, more issues and problems face us more than ever before. Many people assume these problems and important issues will be taken care of by government but this assumption is becoming less and less of a reality. Many of the critical issues and problems are the kind government is least equipped to handle. And some of the issues and problems are caused by government itself.

This is why the world needs strong, competent leaders now more than ever before. Progress can only happen when someone assumes a leadership role – when someone tackles these problems and takes action to solve the problem and correct the injustice.

There are plenty of managers out there but what propels someone to leadership status? What is it that a leader has that a manager or an authority person doesn’t have?

We tend to admire people who can lead-people who can capture our imaginations, turn us on to important ideas, and recruit our energies for great and noble purposes. Progress happens when someone decides that a better way exists and influences others to find that better way.

What is it that these great leaders had while many others try and fail?

There are leaders who are followed because they have authority, they have a formal title or rank and command respect and attention like Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln and George S Patton.  People follow them because they are the boss.  On the other spectrum there are people who are leaders who have earned their leaderships status without a title. They are respected and followed for what they stand for like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King and Mohandas Gandhi.

In all cases, these leaders were individuals who knew how to influence others. They understood people and they knew how to use the tools of authority. Of course the ideal way to influence is to have both formal authority and earned authority. Interestingly, it is common for a person with no formal authority and high earned authority to have greater influence over others than someone who has high formal authority but little or no earned authority. Just look at what MLK, Mother Teresa and Gandhi accomplished. They earned the respect, trust and allegiance of those who followed them. In retrospect, can you say the same thing about the bosses you’ve had, your government officials or even the Presidents of the U. S.?

Today leaders are being asked to provide a new kid of authority; service leadership. This viewpoint suggests that the role of a leader, no matter what type of authority is involved, is to lead by helping or enabling others, not by forcing them. It requires the capacity to lead both with a focus on service to those benefiting from the end result, and to those who do the work achieving the objectives. Such leadership requires working with a spirit and set of values that emphasize worthwhile contributions. Service leaders see their role as enabling or empowering others to accomplish something worthy. They are willing to place empowerment above personal power; contribution above their own ego satisfaction; and the needs of the team above their own needs for credit and acclaim.

With that said, how many people do you know who qualify as a leader? Are you a leader?

Source: Toastmaster International –High Performance Leadership

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – ENOUGH already!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – ENOUGH already!

Excuses keep you small. They keep you from having a fulfilling life, reaching your goals and ultimately achieving the happiness you so desperately deserve and crave.

Every excuse keeps you from becoming all you can be. It’s fear rearing its ugly head and stopping you in your tracks. It casts self-doubt in your abilities and knowledge. It really serves no purpose but to keep you staying small and comfortable in your current position.

Why! It’s easier to find an excuse than do what’s necessary to achieve your dreams. The problem is by not facing your excuse, thus fear, it can have a snowball effect.

If you don’t do your taxes on time because you know you might owe money you’ll end up owing even more money because you didn’t pay your taxes on time.

There is also a physical and emotional by product of making excuses. Deep down you know you should take action but the very prolonged in-action can cause anxiety, restlessness, depression and unexplained outbursts because you’re holding the disappointment of yourself inside. Fear exhibits itself in procrastination and indecision.

The best course of action is to confront the excuse and take action on it. Be it a job, weight, project or a relationship problem confront it by making a decision and taking action on it.

Another way to think about it is how would you feel if everything you’ve been meaning to do and be came true? How would that make you feel? How would you show up in the world?

Would you feel relaxed, free, like the weight of the world had been lifted off your shoulders? When you blame others as your excuse it gives them power over you. You’ve just given them the power to dictate your outcome whether you’re aware of it or not. You’re essentially saying that this agency, group of people, history and society is the cause of you not achieving your goals.  It keeps you from taking responsibility for your life and keeps you small.

You can remain small in your excuses or you can take control by taking responsibility for your own outcome. Only then will you truly be free. 

Love Equals Caring as much as Caring Equals Love

Love Equals Caring as much as Caring Equals Love

Let’s make a distinction about love. There’s the romantic love that is felt between two people, the love of your children, family and friends. But caring encompasses a broader sense of love in that it’s the love of all that is. It’s the love of life and everything we experience in it.

We show kindness and caring to one another through the simple act of opening a door for someone, asking how someone is doing and actually listening to their response, even cleaning up after yourself so that others won’t have to deal with your mess.  These are but a few of the everyday acts of caring that we demonstrate to one another. The capacity to care and be cared for is a human strength. It’s what connects us to one another.

When you don’t demonstrate care to others consistently, life loses its color and connection. You may end up feeling less engaged with those around you. If you’re not making a point to be caring of others in your life, the people around you don’t feel cared for, love, appreciated, respected or engaged by you at the heart level. When this happens they may contact you less frequently, trust you less, buy from you less, and leave you more. It’s an easy formula to figure out: care more, connect more.

Our drive for caring, in a broad sense, makes us feel that we are safe, worthy, and loved, through our own actions and the actions of others, we are cared for.  Caring is something you do and receive.

Of all the human drives, caring seems to get the least attention. Instead, caring’s sexier sister, Love, gets all the attention, despite the fact that it’s probably impossible to feel or demonstrate love without caring.  Plus you likely wouldn’t be kind if you didn’t care. Kindness, caring, love - as you can see they’re all connected.  

We’re all hardwired to demonstrate care for others. Our brains are remarkably well equipped biologically to relate to and care for others’ emotions and experiences. What that means is our brains are built to mimic that which we see and feel in others. It’s why when you walk into a room you pick up the energy of the room and your brain starts to mimic it whether it’s a sad or happy occasion. The more we experience that state and behavior the more we start to mimic it. So if we constantly see others behaving a certain way our brains will likely tell us to mimic that behavior. It’s a key reason why kids smoke when others smoke, why infants smile when their moms smile, and why so many of us yawn or feel impatient when someone else does. We feel what we see.

Caring is more than just a nice action. It’s the basis for our human existence and experience and the foundation that makes love possible. 

Shining Light on the Lies and Deceit

Shining Light on the Lies and Deceit

Sai Baba was an Avatar in India and was worth over a billion US dollars when he left his body on Easter Sunday, April 24^th 2011. He almost never gave interviews, so this is very special.

This extract is from a conversation between a report and the Social and Spiritual Reformer of India, Sathya Sai Baba.

I usually write my own material but I thought this was worth passing along. It’s rather long but you need to read it in its entirety in order to get the full picture of what he’s saying. It’s a different way of thinking and one I think we as a human race are embarking on. The things that he says have also been verified by other sources to be true. We as a human race need to listen to it.

v   

Sai Baba: The truth is that the planet has been changing its vibratory state, and this change has intensified since the year 1989 where the magnetic poles have moved the last 20 years more than the past 2000. Well, in one way there are several prophecies that signal this date like a term or important conclusion in the history of humanity, but the most significant is the end of the Mayan calendar, which prophecy has been interpreted in different ways. The most negative ones think that during this year the world will end, but it will not be like that, it is known that during that year a new era will start, the Age of Aquarius.

This has to do with the rotation of the whole solar system (solar cycle) that goes passing through the different eras each one of them lasts 5125 years. The era in which we now are, called the Age of Pisces, started on the year 3113 B.C. and ends on 2012. If there is a change on the earth's magnetism, there is a change on the consciousness and also an adaptation at the physical level for this new vibration. The changes are not only on our planet, but also affect the whole universe, and today's science can verify that.

Inform yourself about the changes on the solar storms (that are magnetic storms) and you will see that scientists are up to date with these things, or ask about the movement of the magnetic poles during the last years, and airports having to modify their instruments.

This change on the magnetism translates or it's perceived as an increment of light, or an increase on the planet's vibration. For you to understand it easily you must know that this vibration is affected and intensified due to the consciousness of all human beings. Each thought, each emotion, each new awakening of a human being towards the consciousness of God elevates the vibration of the planet. This might seem a paradox, due to the fact that the majority sees around themselves more hatred and misery, but this is not so.

There are many, even if I would like them to be more, that are trying to get out of darkness to grow and become a better Son of God. I have been saying this on previous messages, each one chooses where to focus the view, and those who only see the darkness are focused on the drama, the pain and the injustice. If you don't see the spiritual advancement that humanity has made it is because you haven't focused on it, but if you do the right work and liberate your mind of the negative you will open a space where you will be able to manifest your divine essence that will put on the focus of what is really happening with humanity and the planet.

Q: "Humanity is elevating its consciousness as never before."But how…Can’t you see the darkness?"

Yes, I see it, but I don't identify myself with it, I'm not afraid of it...How can I fear darkness if I see such clear light? Of course I understand those who fear, because I have also been standing where I could only see the evil. This is why now I feel love for all of that. Darkness it's not a force contrary to the light, it is absence of light. You cannot invade the light with darkness, that is not how the principle of light works. Fear, drama, injustice, hate and sadness only exist in states of darkness, because you can't see the global context in which your life develops, and the only way to see from the light when you are there is through faith. Once you have increased your vibration and frequency (state of consciousness) you will be able to see towards darkness and understand what you have lived.

Q: "But...How can you say this if there is more evil in the world every day?"

There is not more evil...there is "more light", and that is what I'm talking about on this message. Imagine that you have a room or warehouse where for years you have been storing your things and is lit by a 40 w. bulb. Change the bulb to a 100 w. and you will see what happens. You will see the mess and the dust you didn't think existed. The dirt will be clearer. This is what is happening, and this makes possible that a lot of people are reading this without thinking of it as foolish, like it could have been some years ago.

Have you noticed that today lies and deceit come to the surface faster than before? Well, to access God's understanding and life's functioning is also faster than before. This new vibration of the planet is what is making everyone nervous, depressed or sick, because to be able to receive more light and to rise to that vibrational level, people have to change physically as well as mentally, they have to change the way they think and feel, and delete or eradicate from their lives such beliefs or parameters that generally differ from reality or that take them towards the negative side of things.

You must put your warehouses in order, because each day you are receiving more light on your consciousness and even if you want to avoid it, you should start putting your hands on the project and start the cleaning or decide to live in the middle of the dirt.

This change creates physical discomforts, pains on the body, on the skeleton system and most of the time; the medical tests can't find the reason or illness that provokes it. Generally they relate it with stress or nervous states; nothing farther from the truth, because these discomforts are provoked due to negative emotions accumulated during our lives, fears and anxieties that you have carried with you always and that now have the opportunity to transcend and transmute. It's about that dust accumulated for years that you are now seeing, for it to be cleaned.

There will be nights when you will wake up and stay up for a few hours...don't alter yourself, read a book, watch TV, meditate, don't fight thinking there is something wrong with you, it's the new vibration of the planet that you're assimilating, you will go back to sleep and the next day you will not feel a need to sleep more.

If you don't flow with this process properly, the pains will be more intense and you will be diagnosed fibromyalgia, which is a name that medicine has given to these pains that have no visible cause and for which they offer no treatment with concrete results, they only give you a prescription for antidepressants and this makes you escape the opportunity to change your life.

One more time you chose which reality you want to live, only this time the drama will be more intense and of course will be the love. If the Light is increased, also is the lack of need for it, this explains why there is so much irrational violence during the last years.

We are living the best time that humanity has ever lived, we will be witnesses and actors of the biggest transformation of consciousness that you have ever imagined.

Inform yourself; wake up your unrest for these subjects. Science knows that something is happening; you know that something is happening; we all know that many changes are happening in many levels. Be a conscious actor of these changes and don't let them take you by surprise because you don't know what is happening.

Who Told You Life was Supposed to be Fair?

Who Told You Life was Supposed to be Fair?

I don’t ever recall being told that and I don’t know where it came from. Realistically, is it even possible?

It’s not possible and I’ll tell you why. Everyone has their own version of what is fair.  The bulk of society could agree on what is the fair and equitable distribution of wealth, education and taxes but there will ALWAYS be the rest of the group who disagree.

Fairness is in the eye of the beholder.

Think for a moment if everything were fair. Everyone made the same amount of money regardless of the hours or value they contributed, received the same amount and type of education even though their talent and ambition were elsewhere, could only get a certain type of house with limited amenities and drove the same quality of vehicle. How boring life would be.

How hard would you work and strive for your goals knowing your increased effort would receive the same results as someone who didn’t put in any effort? How fair would that be? What would happen to a person’s drive and ambition? I don’t know. Maybe you could ask someone who’s from a communist country and ask them. I have. My 92 year old mother-in-law remembers it well and still curses that kind of life.

Life is unfair for a reason. It gives you something to strive for. It challenges you to become more than what you ever thought you could be. It makes you learn patience, humility, empathy, respect, hope, and love to name a few. It makes you grow as a race, religion, gender – as a person- and ultimately spiritually. That’s what being unfair is all about, growth.

Unfairness is disguised as a learning experience, take it for what it is and identify the challenge where you need to grow. It could be to learn how to stand up for yourself, how to accept others or even how to face your own beliefs.  Yep. Fairness isn’t necessarily out there but inside.

Baby Love

Baby Love is Disguised as Self-Love

Babies are so easy to love even if they do keep you up at night and dirty their diapers several times a day.  Their miniature hands, feet, tummy and face are just too adorable to resist. They’re a mini you.

You find yourself thrilled with each new stage of development and going through great lengths just to get a little smile.  Who would have thought such a little bundle of sleepless nights could have so much power over you and yet bring you so much joy.

As she physically develops you start noticing which parent the features came from.  Even though you realize she’s going to end up with her daddy’s big nose you love her just the same.

You see the parts that came from you, the nicely shaped eyebrow, the long legs and even those ugly stubby toes of yours but you love her just the same.

And as the child grows you start to notice some aspects, talents, and personality traits of both parents.  Some you like and some you don’t but you love her just the same.

Isn’t it amazing haw you can love all those attributes, both physically and personality wise in your child but you have a hard time loving those same things in yourself?

Your child is a reflection of you and the other parent. Therefore, when you love your child even with all their ups and downs, in essence you love yourself.

Did you ever think of it that way before?

Mirror on the Wall

Mirror Mirror on the Wall who’s the …

What is it that you see?

Do you like what you see?

If you’re unsure on how to answer these questions a good exercise is to take a look at the people you do and don’t like.

First, think of someone you don’t care for. What is it about that person that you don’t like?  Pinpoint exactly what it is. For me there use to be a person in my life that would always keep tabs on what I was doing at work or reporting it to others, which by the way was none of her business. I did the same thing to her but I brushed if off because I was her boss.  But then I came to realize that the more she kept tabs on me the more I kept tabs on her even if it wasn’t work related. 

Here I was criticizing her when I was doing the same thing.  That was my own reflection in the mirror coming back to me which I didn’t like in myself.

Second, now think of an attribute you like in someone else.  I have a friend who is always giving me encouraging words and who is basically my cheerleader for my business. I also realized she did this for lots of other people and I really admire and am thankful for her support.

Then one day we were having a conversation and she complimented me on how I’m always encouraging and supporting others to be true to them and what a service I’m providing to them.  

Now isn’t that interesting? The same thing I liked about her is what she liked about me.

You could say you reap what you sow here but you can also say what you see in the world is actually a reflection of how you show up in the world. You notice these traits because they are in some form a part of what you do.  Sometimes it’s a nice reflection and sometimes it’s not so pretty.  If they didn’t have an effect on you then you have no emotion attached to it.

When you find yourself liking what someone else does or complimenting them then take notice, you likely have a similar attribute but it may not show up exactly like theirs.

Now the hard part, when you find yourself saying or thinking negative comments about someone else take a good honest look at yourself. Is it possible that you do the same thing in some way or another? That’s what I do and I find myself having less negative thoughts about others.

What does it do for me? It makes me more calm and accepting of other people’s behaviors. I realize they’re just being themselves.

What are your thoughts on this?

Your True Colors

Show Your True Colors

What are your true colors? Most people are only vibrating at a pastel hue when they could be a vibrant orange, red or blue.

Come alive. It takes not only knowing but acting on what makes you come alive that makes your true colors shine. Unfortunately what holds people up is the belief that what they want to do or be won’t be liked, accepted, respected or acknowledged. That is a shame because then it’s fear that is holding you back from being who you are and thereby letting your true colors come shining through.

The song True Colors sums it up quite nicely.

“You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow”

So what colors will your rainbow be?

Retire! Bah Hum Bug

Retire! Bah Hum Bug

You’re as young as you feel , saving the best for last or it isn’t over till I say it’s over might describe the individuals who continue to learn, achieve and grow well into retirement years.  It’s as if they’re just hitting their stride.  Age is but a number.

They have such drive and sense of purpose that it propels them to continue to learn and grow.  Now with the wisdom they’ve earned through the years they’re able to continue to make their mark. What’s interesting is that their achievements are from different venues; fashion, political, athletic, education, science, music and the arts. It’s a true testament that it’s not over until you say it is.

The achievements of the following individuals didn’t happen overnight but were an accumulation and extension of what they’ve already experienced.

“Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another” ~John Dewey

Take a look at just some of the well known individuals who made or continued to achieve and grow in their 70’s.

70 – Dr. William Mayo founds a medical clinic which will bear his name.

71 – Fashion icon Coco Chanel debuts the Chanel suit.

72 – Karl Wallenda, of the famous Flying Wallendas, walks a high wire between the Eden Rock and Fontianebleau hotels in Paris.

73 – Ronald Reagan is elected President of the United States.

74 – Ethel Andrus founds the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP).

75 – Piano virtuoso Claudio Arrau stays busy ion his seventy-fifth year, performing a total of 110 concerts.

76 – Thomas Jefferson begins designing buildings and developing curricula for the University of Virginia.

77 – Astronaut (and Senator) John Glenn returns to space on the Space Shuttle Discovery mission.

78 – Grandma Moses begins her career as a serious painter.

79 – Giuseppe Verdi composed the opera Falstaff.

There are people all around that are still learning and growing well into their retirement years.  Take my grandpa for example.  He finally gave up dairy farming at the ripe old age of 75.  That’s hard work at any age.  However he didn’t retire, that wasn’t his nature.  He rented out his land to another farmer and took up raising heifers and peacocks.  He also had taken up woodworking in his later years and now that he had more time he began making even more and difficult pieces. No he wasn’t famous but he did set an example for his children and grandchildren to follow.  He finally passed on when he was 91 years old.

What does this tell me? That when you stay engaged in life, have a sense of meaning and purpose you are more likely to live longer and enjoy it more too.

What does it say to you?

How Do You Show Up?

What the heck does that mean? Show up. When you need to have a conversation about a possible unpleasant topic, are you already upset about the subject? Do you assume there may be a dispute about it or are you gearing up for a confrontation? How do you enter that conversation then? Are you scared, tense, angry, frustrated, or apprehensive about what may happen? Whatever you are thinking, that is how you will show up. It manifests itself in our language, gestures, and body language. You could be saying all the right words, in your mind, and yet the other person is taking offense or doesn't understand your viewpoint. In essence you are giving mixed signals. If you are expecting a confrontation, your language will indicate that in subtle ways by choosing certain words that heads off a possible disagreement with your viewpoint, all the while standing rigid, arms crossed, and speaking in a cordial and professional voice.

What do you do then? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself what is the goal here. Is it to get your way or is it to accomplish something. Once you have grasped what the ultimate goal is, then you can look at the conversation for what it is, a conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Imagine entering into the conversation without no assumptions, expectations, or judgments. It is what it is.

Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up. He meant physically being there but I think it could also be applied to how you're showing up in your interactions. The success of an interaction is based on how you show up for it. It’s also said that 90% of conflicts are due to your tone of voice while only 10% is for the conflict itself.

How you show up can make all the difference in the world on the outcome you receive. 

Play a Victim - Stay a Victim

Victim is a term that seems to be used a lot these days and in my observation too freely.  Listen to the news and there doesn’t seem to be a class, race, sex or orientation that isn’t a victim

Granted there are experiences that people have that truly warrant the term. However, I bulk at the free use and ownership that some people cling to. They wear it like a badge.

Look at me. I’m a victim.

Feel sorry for me. I’m a victim.

Take care of me. I’m a victim.

Society owes me. I’m a victim.

When does this type of person stop becoming a victim?

They stop when they decide to take back their power and announce that their past, situation or experiences will no longer control or define who they are. That is when they take responsibility for how they feel. They forgive and move on. They no longer let an event, person or situation, past or present, control how they feel. That’s true power.

This scares a lot of people, to actually have the strength to let go and stand in total control of their emotions, to forget the past and move one.

You see, it’s much easier to stay in victimhood. It’s much easier to blame others for the results they’re experiencing instead of taking control. In fact, so much so, that all blame for a person’s failures is blamed on government, society, economy or other people, anything else but themselves.

What’s more irritating is when events never actually occurred for a person and yet they use it as a reason for them to be a victim too. What sense does that make?

Victimhood is a state of mind. You can let it define you or chalk it up to an isolated incident and move on. Take ownership of how you feel. Take a stand for integrity and when something bad happens have the wherewithal to realize it’s not you, it’s them.  

The Truth Shall Set You Free

Love that sentence. Imagine a world where you always knew what the truth is.  You’d know the true intention behind the guy who just asked you out, the politics at work and which of your politicians is telling the truth or selling you a lie. Okay, now I’m just dreaming.

How free would that make you?  You would then be able to make wise choices in your life instead of learning the hard way. Of course, sometimes you have to learn what you don’t want to find out what you do want but that’s another subject.

If you went into something with the truth fully exposed then you’d have no one else to blame or celebrate for the outcome but you.  That is freedom

Freedom is about having choices and being able to act on them, to take the good with the bad for those choices.  There is no bail out.  It’s taking responsibility for the choices you’ve made, some good and some not so good.

Truth and freedom go hand in hand.  The truth frees you.  It’s like a release button.  You get to release on all the tension, frustration and anxiety that builds up inside when you tell the truth.  That’s why confessions are good, and why convicts have to tell someone about what they did.  It could be to boost their ego but then again it could be to set their conscious free.

Hmm. Did you ever think of it that way?

Stop Fighting Cancer – It’s a losing battle

In fact, stop racing too.  It won’t get you what you want- a cure.

Like many others I too have had people close to me die from cancer.  It’s not a pretty sight.  However, I’m well versed in the Law of Attraction to know that you get what you ask for.  Therefore, if you ask for a fight that’s what you’re going to get, a disease that is constantly fighting back new treatments.   If you want to race for a cure then that’s what you’ll get – a race.  The goal will always be out of your reach.  It might show up as finding new treatments only to discover another symptom has taken its place and now we’ll be racing to find a cure for it.  The cure is the good part of the declaration but not the race part of it.

Cancer isn’t the only area that could use a revamp in its language.  Politicians are always claiming that we’ll fight for this or that.  The media picks up on the verbiage and now we have war on terrisiom, war on drugs.  Let’s see what else can we have a war on?  And then we wonder why the world is in the shape it’s in. 

Mother Teresa said it best when she said she wouldn’t participate in a March on War but she would if it was a Peace March.  She understood the Law of Attraction.

Society needs to choose their words more wisely.  I catch myself all the time saying things I should have said differently. I can’t blame anyone but myself for the results because I asked for it.

A simple statement like “Let’s have a discussion” has a negative energy to it.  To discuss comes from the Latin word discuss which is to dash to pieces and quatere - to shake. Therefore, you’re implying that there will be disagreement and that likely wasn’t your intention at all.  It would be far better to say that we need to have a conversation or dialogue about this matter. There isn’t a defensive emotion attached to those two words.  They’re neutral.  It’s the same reason Coke, Kodak and Toyota have such a good brand image, there isn’t a prior meaning attached to those words.

So if you want a cure for cancer it would be better to say you’ll walk, run, bike etc for it but not race. As the saying goes, “Where attention goes energy flows”.  Let’s give the attention to the cure and not the fight.  Are you with me?

What is Right and Real and the Truth for You?

“The way to choose happiness is to follow what is right and real and the truth for you” ~ Oprah Winfrey.

How true.  The key phrase here is “right for YOU”. That means not comparing yourself to someone else. You won’t find happiness comparing yourself to others or believing that the grass is greener on the other side.  If you do, you lose your opportunity for happiness.  Happiness is discovering what’s right for you and that takes getting to know yourself well.

It means you need to be authentic, to be the true you.  How many times have you stopped doing, being or saying something because you were afraid you weren’t going to be accepted, respected or loved if you did?  In those moments, the fear becomes more important than expressing who you are.

The reason unconditional love, God’s love, is so comforting is that supreme love accepts your true nature.  It is seeing the true intention behind the words and actions.  It’s seeing you on a deep spiritual level, not just the physical level, and loving you no matter what you do or say.

When you get to what’s right and real for you, you will embrace the truth of the spirit of God in you and your true essence will shine.

(This is a snapshot of my book, Pick Me Up – Inspirational messages to make you jump for joy, on Amazon and ITunes. You can also purchase it from my web site. www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com 

Need a Quick Pick Me Up?

When you need a quick pick me up when you’re feeling down remind yourself of all the compliments you’ve received over the years, you know the ones you brush off as nothing, these are your strong points, the ones that you’ve embodied to thoroughly they are just a part of who you are.  Your unique blend of strengths, missteps and view point is what makes you stand out. Embrace it.
Typically, someone or something reminded you of an attribute that isn’t your strong point and now you’re dwelling on that instead of acknowledging it and focusing on what are your strong points.  We all have areas that we’re strong in and other areas that we are not. No one is perfect. Don’t worry yourself silly over it.  It’s just a waste of time.

There are far too many influences in your life that can literally stop you from becoming who you were born to be.  Your well-meaning parents, colleagues and friends may have talked you out of what you wanted to do for fear you might be get hurt or not make enough money.  The list could go on and on.  I know I’ve done it myself.  At the time I thought I was looking out for my friend. I know now that it was what she wanted and I talked her out of having that experience. It won’t happen again.

Too often you can get caught up in the day to day activities of your life that you forget who you are and what you wanted.  The demands of earning a living and societies’ pressure can make you lose sight of what you initially wanted to do.  Some day you may even wake up and ask yourself “Why am I doing this.  Am I happy doing this? Is this bringing me joy? Am I out of whack with who I am? Does this really fit who I am?” Are you lost in the “doing” of life instead of the “being” of life? To “BE” is to be who you are in an authentic, in the moment way.  It’s a “Here I am take it or leave it attitude” A good question to ask yourself is if money, time and education weren’t a factor, what would you be doing now? When you’re young and contemplating what you want to be when you grow up you are actually closer to who you are then when you start factoring in the above criteria.


Who are you anyway?  What makes you stand out? What are the unique blend of talents and experiences that only you can offer? Figure out what that is and use it to your advantage. When you’re feeling down and losing confidence in yourself, pick yourself up by reminding yourself that you do have a unique blend of talents and you just need the right venue to express them. 

You lost me at ^*% #%^$

Do you know when you’re winning an argument? When the other person is starting to lose it? It’s when the other person starts to raise their voice followed by yelling with possibly some swear words thrown in for good affect. If it escalates even further you have some type of violence towards person or property. It’s not a pretty sight. Basically, what has happened is the person who starts to raise their voice has let their emotions take over instead of allowing reason and logic to win their case.

Think about this for moment. Isn’t that exactly what happens in a bar fight, disagreement at work or social function? Why is it so hard to accept that another person’ viewpoint may differ from yours? It doesn’t make it wrong, just different. We all have our own worldview and everything is run through these filters first.

You will not be able to understand where someone is coming from unless you find out what made the person reach their conclusion. And how do you do that? You ask lot of questions and then listen for the response. Try to understand their answer from their point of view.

However, when you’re having a conversation and one or both person(s) becomes emotionally unhinged, the possibility of having meaningful dialogue has just been killed and the hope of reason returning will only occur when cooler heads prevail.

I bring this up in regards to the continuing protests. There’s nothing wrong with protesting but once it turns to violence the message has been lost. The focus then is on the violent action and not the protester’s message. Is that what the protesters really want?