In the book, "Loving What Is ", by Byron Katie, she states that there are four questions that you need to ask yourself the next time you get mad, upset, and then judge someone. Actually it is good all the time. It’s like being your own coach. These questions help walk you through whatever situation you happen to be going through. The absolute thing you MUST do to make this work is to be HONEST. You MUST be TOTALLY HONEST with yourself.
Think of a situation or issue involving another person that is happening to you right now and ask yourself these questions.
1) Is it true?
2) Can you ABSOLUTELY know that it's true?
3) How do you react when you think that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought?
In the first question what typically is stated as the truth is actually assumed, presumed, or only half true and sometimes it is just some one's personal opinion.
The second question is a kicker because many times you may only know part of the story and then the rest of your opinion, viewpoint is filled with assumptions.
The third question has to do with how you feel when you think these thoughts. How many times have you found out some unpleasant information and then started to fill in the rest with the "what ifs" all the while having your emotions run higher and higher when in reality you know very little about the actual facts.
On the fourth question you ask yourself how you would feel if you didn't have that thought. What would your mood and emotions be like?
TURN IT AROUND
when you get done asking yourself, honestly, the questions you had about another person, then you turn it around and replace that person's name with your own. Yes, with your name. Is what you’re upset about really something that you're not doing or being? Are you all those things that you've just blamed onto someone else, most of the time it is? Another word for it is mirroring and sometimes we don't look too pretty.
You can go to www.yourtrueheartsdesire.com to view other books I recommend.