For some reason, you are consciously or unconsciously choosing to be in that lousy job, you are choosing to hate the single life, you are choosing to stay in a destructive relationship, you are choosing to let you daughter drive you crazy, you are choosing to sabotage anything good in your life. I know this is difficult to accept the fact that you are the cause of the feelings that take away your joy in life. It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy. On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing. If you know you can create your own misery, it stands to reason that you can also create your own joy. Taking responsibility for your experiences of life is the component of a more powerful way of living. Believe that you are the cause of all your experiences of life, meaning that you are the cause of your reactions to everything that happens to you. Whenever you are not taking responsibility, you put yourself in a position of pain, and hence decrease your ability to handle the fear in your life.
1. Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.
2. Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.
(This sounds contradictory, but it is not. Anything that takes away your power or your pleasure makes you a victim)
3. Taking responsibility means being aware of where and when you are NOT taking responsibility so that you can eventually change.
4. Taking responsibility means handling the chatterbox (the voice inside your head that creates all sorts of stories, theories, assumptions)
5. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you stuck. (Staying in a lousy job for fear of rejection the payoff: easier to stay)
6. Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it.
7. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation.
From: "Feel the fear ... and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. PHD