If at First You don’t Succeed ….

You know how it goes but what does try really mean? It means to attempt. If someone told you they were attempting to lose weight and attempting to lose weight, or whatever their goal and they weren't making any progress, what would you think? You'd think they were failing. To try is to fail with honor. "Try" has become so common in our language that we've lost the true meaning of it. A better option would be to say you're working on it. Saying it that way implies that you are consciously aware of what is going on. What is working and what is not working and that you are actively restructuring your methods to achieve that goal. Language shapes everything in our world. As people speak, they reveal themselves. Language is the house of being. Words like "try" and "I'll do the best I can" are indicative of a diluted commitment. If you say, "I'll probably get that done", it sounds like a slim chance of happening. Is it done or isn't it? There is power in the words we choose to use. Choose your words wisely and consciously to achieve the true intention to your commitment.

Parts taken from Sue Hawk, Ideal Coaching.

How to Stay Positive

Whenever I find a great resource for transformation I like to pass it on. Here is an excerpt from Susan Jeffers, PHD who wrote the book, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway".


So here you are a blob of negativity. How do you even begin to turn around those miserable thoughts that take away your power? You begin by doing the same thing you would do if your body were out of shape. You create an exercise program - in this case, to retrain your mind. To do so, you must take action.

Before giving a suggested action plan, I recommend that you have on hand the following to make your daily routine more efficient and certainly more pleasurable:

1) A small audio cassette or CD player, iPod, whatever suits you best for portable listening.

2) Positive audio and CD's. These include affirmations, relaxation, meditation, motivation, visualization, and inspirational tapes and CD's. Also, there are many uplifting books available in audio format.

3) Positive books that inspire and motivate. I suggest buying your books instead of borrowing, if possible. You may want to underline and write in the books and reread them over and over again. Remember, you are investing in yourself.

4) Index cards or Post-it notes

5) Positive quotes. Write them on your index cards or Post-it notes and hang or attach them where you'll see them, on your mirror, car, refrigerator, and phone. i.e.; "I'm not a failure if I don't make it ... I'm a success because I tried." Unknown.

6) Affirmations. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is self-talk in its highest form. It is a positive statement that something is already happening. It's not happening tomorrow or in the future, but right now.

- I relax knowing I can handle it.
- I stand tall and take responsibility for my life.
- I know that I count and I act as if I do.


Rules:

-Always state affirmations in the present (I am now handling my fears vs. I will handle my fears)
-Always phrase affirmations in the positive, rather than the negative. (I am becoming more confident every day vs. I am no longer putting myself down)

Select affirmations that feel right to you at any given time. What feels right changes as your situation and mood change. What's important? Out talk your negativity. The key is to know that you can lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are. What positive thinking does is offer a power boost to help you handle whatever life gives you.

What's Wrong with being a Pollyanna?

Nothing! There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic. That is pure madness. It is reported that more than 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means that our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn't being positive more realistic than being negative?


If you think about it, the important issue is not which is more realistic, but rather, "Why be miserable when you can be happy?" If being a Pollyanna creates a happier world for you and those around you, why hesitate for one more moment?

Nothing is realistic or unrealistic-there is only what we think about any given situation. We create our own reality. What does all this tell you? STOP FEEDING YOURSELF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Negative thoughts take away your power.... and thus make you more paralyzed from your fear.

So, why don't people think more positively? People don't understand what being a positive thinker requires. It takes a special commitment and requires a great deal of practice. And then once you get it all down perfectly, a maintenance program is a must. If you don't practice, you lose the skill. This is the point most people don't seem to understand. So how do you stay positive? Stay tuned.

This excerpt is from: "Feel the fear and do it anyway", by Susan Jeffers, PHD. It’s a very good read.

Be Careful You Might Make the Wrong Choice

One of the biggest fears that keep us from moving ahead with our lives is our difficulty in making decisions. The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing - to starve. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life a delicious feast.




The problem is that we have been taught "Be careful! You might make the wrong decision. A wrong decision! Oh no! What will that deprive me of? Closely tied to this is our panic over making mistakes. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Yet, when we become uncomfortable, that is when we're growing.



I have a saying posted in my home about worrying that states, "Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." There really is nothing to lose, only something to gain, whatever the choices you make or actions you take in life. All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think about it. You can actually shift your thinking in such a way as to make a wrong decision or mistake impossibility. It's not an obstacle, it's a learning experience. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this so that the next time it won't happen." There are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities -despite the outcome. Remember that underlying all your fears is a lack of trust in self. Say to yourself, "I can handle it."