What is it that you see?
Do you like what you see?
If you’re unsure on how to answer these questions a good exercise is to take a look at the people you do and don’t like.
First, think of someone you don’t care for. What is it about that person that you don’t like? Pinpoint exactly what it is. For me there use to be a person in my life that would always keep tabs on what I was doing at work or reporting it to others, which by the way was none of her business. I did the same thing to her but I brushed if off because I was her boss. But then I came to realize that the more she kept tabs on me the more I kept tabs on her even if it wasn’t work related.
Here I was criticizing her when I was doing the same thing. That was my own reflection in the mirror coming back to me which I didn’t like in myself.
Second, now think of an attribute you like in someone else. I have a friend who is always giving me encouraging words and who is basically my cheerleader for my business. I also realized she did this for lots of other people and I really admire and am thankful for her support.
Then one day we were having a conversation and she complimented me on how I’m always encouraging and supporting others to be true to them and what a service I’m providing to them.
Now isn’t that interesting? The same thing I liked about her is what she liked about me.
You could say you reap what you sow here but you can also say what you see in the world is actually a reflection of how you show up in the world. You notice these traits because they are in some form a part of what you do. Sometimes it’s a nice reflection and sometimes it’s not so pretty. If they didn’t have an effect on you then you have no emotion attached to it.
When you find yourself liking what someone else does or complimenting them then take notice, you likely have a similar attribute but it may not show up exactly like theirs.
Now the hard part, when you find yourself saying or thinking negative comments about someone else take a good honest look at yourself. Is it possible that you do the same thing in some way or another? That’s what I do and I find myself having less negative thoughts about others.
What does it do for me? It makes me more calm and accepting of other people’s behaviors. I realize they’re just being themselves.
What are your thoughts on this?