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Monday, November 14, 2011

Commitment – Not Just a Piece of Paper

There is something about vocally making a commitment, putting pen to paper and having witnesses that suddenly solidifies a commitment.  It’s as if it reached into the center of your being and makes you react with a sense of this is really important. Remember it. Don’t renege.

To the witnesses it gives the contract credibility but still there’s the physical words and signage that really gives it credence.  It not only brings it to the forefront of your conscious but gets embedded at the cellular level.
 
Commitment changes relationships. Your friends, neighbors, co-workers and even your in-laws come and go. Sure you may be uncomfortable with the change in the relationship but there was no commitment to fall back on.  They never indicated that they were going to be your friend forever. Besides, did you really lose a friend or did one of you decide she needed to move on in order to grow? If that’s the case then you never lost the friendship.

How many times have you known or heard about a couple who have lived quite well together for several years only to get married and shortly thereafter get divorced? What changed the relationship, the commitment? It took on a new meaning, more importance.  Now a commitment has been made not only to another person but to yourself to uphold. Can you do it?

For some reason people think they’re getting married to appease religious beliefs, society or government.  Not true. Even in the Catholic religion, out of the seven sacraments, marriage is the only sacrament that is given from one person to another, the church only overseas it as a witness from God.  Therefore the commitment is between the man, women and God.  It’s a really a private matter. If it’s not upheld you are breaking a promise not only to the other person but to yourself and sometimes those are the hardest to face, breaking a promise and thereby letting yourself down.

There are a few people who claim they won’t marry because it’s just a piece of paper, REALLY? The number one reason a person would say this is out of FEAR; fear of failure. If you don’t make a committed statement then you can’t fail.  Sure the person might go on and one about freedom from outside influences but really it comes down to fear.  It’s interesting to note that people have no problem signing contracts and commitments to do a job, make payments or such but to make a commitment to another person propels it to a whole new level. Suddenly excuses come up.

My favorite excuse is when a couple claim they won’t marry until everyone has the right to marry anyone they want.  That’s a cop out, a stall tactic.  It’s a way to draw attention away from them and onto another group.  As if the laws were immediately going to be changed so that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could get married.  Does anybody really care?  They’re both pretty independent and I would venture to say that if the law did change they’d find another excuse.  If they ever do get married it’ll be on their own terms.

It’s also interesting to note that even children with unwed parents want them to have a commitment to each other.  Eventually they will question, plead and sell the notion of it to their parents. Is this out of fear, society pressures or is it engrained at a cellular level from our creator that contracts and thereby commitments are part of our purpose for being here?

With that said, what do you think it is about a commitment to another person that propels it to another level?

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