Responsibility IS freedom

That doesn’t seem to go together, does it? Let me explain.

When you take responsibility for what is happening in your life you become the driver instead of the passenger. You begin to live your life by design instead of by default. Sure you make some bad choices now and then but then you take the responsibility for them, make adjustments and move on. When you realize that you are indeed the creator of the experiences you have, you begin to make better choices so that you will have the experiences that you want.

You’ve heard the expressions; “Birds of a feather flock together”, “The better it gets, the better it gets; and the worse it gets the worse it gets” or “This day started out bad and got much worse.”  There is more truth to that than you may have given credit.  The people you identify with and listen to do have an effect on you. It may not happen right away but eventually it does. Next time you’re in the company of a few individuals having a conversation sit back and just observe the conversation. Listen for when someone starts to complain about something like their last cold.  Eventually someone will chime in about their last cold and how awful it was and then maybe another has to top that with something better until the whole conversation is about trying to out-do the others.  It really is quite amusing. Of course it doesn’t have to be about a cold it could be about anything; job, errands, injury, traffic or weather, you name it.

Now if you’re really into the Law of Attraction like I am, you’d remove yourself from the above conversation or at least not give much thought to it. Why, because where attention goes energy flows. Even though you may not want to get a cold, just the thought of getting a cold and all the symptoms that go with it could actually bring it to you. You are a magnet attracting whatever you are giving your attention to whether it be the atmosphere at work or in a traffic jam. Even though you don’t want a cold your attention is focused on a cold and so you get one. You have the freedom to choose where your attention goes. 

What has that got to do with responsibility you ask. Well, this attraction magnet within you brings you the experiences you have in every aspect of your life. When you hang out with creative people you tend to start thinking like they do. If you’re around people who talk about sports or cars, you will start to learn more about it and talk more about it. Conversely, if you’re around people who swear a lot then you too will slip out a #$%&* once in awhile. When you’re around people who complain a lot you too will add your two cents to the conversation and become a complainer too.

The good news is that you don’t have to buy into anything that you don’t want to.  You have the freedom to choose what you will pay attention to and what you will not. You can take responsibility for what you’re experiencing and make corrections if needed. You don’t have to live your life by default. You have the power to choose your outcomes by making better choices and you have the freedom to start today.

What is the One Thing That Does it for You?

In the movie City Slickers, Crusty the old cowboy, holds up one finger and tells Billy Crystal's character that there is only one thing you got know in life. Crystal's character asks him what that is. Crusty tells him, "That's what you got to figure out." He dies before Crystal's character can find out what that one thing is. At the end of the movie he figures out that what Crusty meant was it’s different for everyone.

Find the one thing that defines you. What is the one thing that is the essence of fulfillment for you? When you figure that out then everything else will fall into place. Revolve the other aspects of your life around it. Is it family, a favorite charity, or spiritual. Once you figure it out, make that the center of your life.

Let's say its family. That would mean that if family is the most important thing to you when a decision has to be made as to how to spend your time, ask yourself, "What do I really want to do?" and go with that. Spend it with your family. No one died wishing they could have worked one more day but they have wished they could have spent more time cultivating meaningful relationships. Many parents have spent extra hours working so that they can send their children to College all the while missing out on their children’s growing years.

Leave here with no regrets. Give it your all. In the end, when you become more authentic to you true self the added benefit is you also become a happier person.

Don’t Worry. Be Happy

I never really to that song, so I’m just supposed to forget about my troubles and be happy anyway?

Well according to the divine that’s right. We’re supposed to find the joy in whatever situation we find ourselves in and focus on that. It sounds easier said than done.

My inspiration for this challenge is the mentally and memory challenged. Have you ever noticed that they’re usually happy? They’re usually grateful for any kindness no matter how small shown to them. Now that’s finding joy in the moment.

There are no worries for those who are losing their memory. They can’t remember them anyway.  How peaceful and joyful that must be.  My Mom is like that. She’s always in a good mood, laughs a lot and is quick with a smile. I miss her cooking though.

My girlfriend loved working with the mentally and physically challenged. They too were joyful.  Their hearts were open to love freely.

Sometimes I think it’s us who should be learning from them. Don’t worry. Be happy.

Success, What Does it Look Like?

The definition for success is different for everyone, but I find this definition says it the best.

Success
“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he has, whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction”.

What is your definition?

Be Good to Yourself

 

No one cares about you more than you do. Unfortunately, especially for mothers, it’s the one person they don’t’ take care of. Everyone else comes first and if there’s enough time and money she’ll do something for herself. However, sometimes she puts a guilty price tag on it.

This should not be the case. It’s devaluing your worth as a wife, women, and mother. If anyone deserves to be pampered it’s you and it shouldn’t be just on your birthday or Mother’s Day.

You need to be good to yourself because just like the oxygen mask in the airplane you need to help yourself first before you can help others. If you don’t, you can become bitter or blow up over the littlest thing. When you take time for yourself you are able to reconnect with who you are as a person and not any kind of role you play.

Some people like to spoil themselves with a massage, new nails, shopping, a get away with friends or just a walk in nature. Whatever works for you, do it.

You owe it to yourself and those around really want you to be happy. So, be good to yourself.

You See What You Want to See

 

Yes, that's what people do. They see what they want to see and then collect evidence to support that position. It's the Law of Attraction at work.

Take for example an environmental or the political issues, for every position that someone holds there is someone else countering that position with new or different evidence. Each side is seeing what they want to see. It is what they already believe in. They keep looking and hearing for the side that they already believe in, collecting evidence along the way to support it. When something does come up that may cast doubt on their beliefs, it is casted aside as not reliable, gossip, political positioning.

If everyone was truly open to all the evidence that is out there we would not have debates or discussions, in essence, there wouldn't be conflict. Of course, the evidence could come down as being inconclusive, in fact, that is usually the case. Therefore, all anyone can go on is their own beliefs. Everyone filters the information they receive through their own world view on the subject.

Be aware of when you are holding a position. Are you doing it to be right, to validate your position? When you are collecting evidence, are you truly looking at all aspects or only the ones you agree with? Basically, are you truly being open.

Good Always Wins

Have you ever notices in movies that good always comes out on top, coincidence, planned? Nope. It’s in the Bible. Good will win. Why?

It’s actually quite simple. Good is associated with love. Anything coming from the emotion of love has a higher vibration than any other emotion. It’s even been proven that it takes more energy to have negative thoughts then it does positive ones. It takes more muscles in your face to frown than it does to smile. Imagine if people were more in a positive mood than a negative one.

Is this by design? I think so. We’re meant to be loving human beings. It’s our natural state and that’s why we instinctively root for good. Anything else goes against our spiritual state. When weren’t not in line with it we’re a bit off and don’t function as smoothly as designed. Negative emotions are like poison to our spiritual self.  It’s like eating food that’s not good for you. You tend to feel a bit sluggish and your body doesn’t operate as optimal as possible.

When you’re in a funk do what gets you in a better mood. It could be talking to a friend, a walk in nature or listening to a favorite song. Whatever works for you?

Food for thought; feed yourself positive thoughts; emit love through kind words and actions. Good will win.

“If You’re Afraid You’ll Make a Mistake, You Won’t Make Anything”

That quote came from all places the Family Circus comic. How true. If you want something to happen you must take the risk that you'll fail. But don't look at it as failing. It's NOT failing. It's learning. You're just on a learning curve. The most successful people in the world had a lot of failures before they became successful. They had to. It was a learning process. Without those learning experiences, they never would have become who they are today.

And remember what Don Shula said, "Success is not forever and failure is never fatal."